2hr feeds at night (near 4mo old) HELP!

[Adelheid]

Ok, so I TOTALLY know my LO does NOT need to be feeding every 2 hrs at night, but he wakes up wanting it non the less.
My middle child (20months) just resurfaced after a six week terror campaign and has FINALLY decided to quit night wakings (which consisted of screaming for hours) and eeeeeeaaarly morning wake ups (5am).
Sooooo, now that I ONLY have to get up for the baby, I feel like there is a ity-bity glimmer of hope that I could possible sleep more too. "Hope" being the keyword. 

I just switched my LO to a 3hr EAS routine and am gonna push for a 3.5hr EAS next. Unfortunately, at night its still a two hour cycle. And once we hit 4am, he won't sleep for longer than 45min at a time until he gets up at 6am.

I struggle with knowing how to sleep train him not just because I've been soooo insanely tired, but also because I'm so paranoid of waking up the other two kids if he starts crying at night. Our house has paper walls.

How often a night would it be advisable to actually feed the baby? Like at 1am, 4am? Or more than that?
At night his routine is:
BF 18:30
Asleep by 19:00
DF 21:00/ 21:30

And it seems that when I shss/pat him at night he squirms and gets more upset. Unless I offer something to suck on, he just won't calm down. He loves his hands but doesn't have enough control yet to make use of them properly. I have tried a binky a few times. I personally hate using them, so I jank it out before I put him back in his crib. Should I use it more?

[Buntybear]

Hello, could you push the DF a bit later? Mother thought is that there is a big growth spurt at around 4 months- ha he always fed at 2 hours or is this a new thing?

Olly never wanted a binke or any prop (apart form us) but I would have through if he is searching for a comforter then you could try it....

[Martini~]

Hello Honey - sorry for missing your post earlier Are the nights still so shattered? Can you please post your current routine with A times and E times? And we will try to figure it out!

[Adelheid]

Hi! Thanks for your reply.
Nights are as exhausting as when he was a newborn. 
He is four months, so I suspect it to be the sleep- regression, but I'm not certain.
Last night, I DF him around 22:00.
He woke up at midnight at which point I tried to re-settle him because I did NOT want to feed him 2hrs after his DF. He would squirm like crazy in my arms, like he was trying to get comfortable. I would lay him back down pretty quickly, which he liked. However, five minutes later, he would wake up! This went on for like an hour.  AND we did this whole dance again at 3am.
Uff

I fed him at 2 and at 5:30 which I was pleased with. I have been really trying to limit night time feeds.
I am assuming his crazy wakings has to do with the sleep regression?

[Adelheid]

One more question:
I've been DF around 21:00 because he tends to wake up every night at that time.
Should I get him back to sleep and DF later? I've been wondering that about other night time wakings that are predictable. Like 4am.