Author Topic: 9 month old recently waking  (Read 886 times)

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Offline AKC808

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9 month old recently waking
« on: June 02, 2017, 07:38:40 am »
A little background...my now 9 mo old had been an amazing sleeper until 6 mo. I did SW techniques with her from the beginning due to the success of using them with my now 2 & 1/2 year old. She started sleeping 7-5 at 4 wks & by 6 wks was doing 7-6:30 would nurse and go back to sleep until 7:30.

We went on a short trip at 6 mo & then she started waking at 4:30, nursing & going back to sleep until 7 which I was fine with. She can put herself to sleep for bedtime & naps. She currently naps at 9 & 1 for 1.5 hours give or take 15 minutes.

Now, my current problem. She started waking up earlier about 3 weeks ago & then two weeks ago started waking up two times a night & the last two nights 3 times a night. We're definitely starting down a slippery slope! I had been nursing her back to sleep in the middle of the night (she puts herself to sleep for naps & initial going to bed) & she was taking full feedings so we tried to up her food intake during the day so I'm pretty confident she's getting enough calories during the day now. The last two nights (the ones with the most wakings!) she was clearly nursing for comfort & not food. So, I started pu/pd with her tonight (we've done it before when she was younger) and she was really upset. I couldn't calm her down enough to know when to put her down so just kind of arbitrarily put her down & then pu again when she would reach for me. She eventually just tired herself out & went to sleep. Am I doing pu/pd correctly? How long do I hold her if she never calms down? Sorry this was so long, but wanted to give all the info you might need!

Offline Katet

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Re: 9 month old recently waking
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2017, 00:23:13 am »
What's happening in terms of teething & any illness. Any changes such as daycare etc... I'd say if she's been sleeping well & now that's changed it could be pain or emotional changes. 

I didn't really ever do the PU/PD at night (didn't want to wake other family members) so not sure what the book correct is, but I would cuddle my children until they were calm & relaxed & then put them in their cot if they got upset/pulled themselves up I'd comfort.

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Offline creations

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Re: 9 month old recently waking
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2017, 17:50:57 pm »
Hi
Have you seen these FAQs for PUPD?
Here is the "everything you every needed to know":
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=275699.0
and here are the age adaptations:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=208990.0

There don't seem to be many in the community who have done a full on PUPD although people do still ask about it. I think most of us would answer like previous poster did, that we never really did PUPD but rather picked up and cuddled until calm and then put down when they were ready and picked up again if or when needed. The FAQs may help though.
We tend to suggest PUPD is a last resort method and prefer shush/pat or adapted as they get older - but it's fine if you want to PUPD.
If after looking at the FAQs you still have questions we will certainly do our best to answer them.

One other thing - are you sure she doesn't need a night feed? You seem confident that her day time intake of food has increased enough, I'm just wondering if she might need one night feed or if it needs a slower wean rather than all at once?

I would imagine if you've had a bad night with PUPD that it's going to get better very soon. From memory there will be improvement days 2 and 3 and some major regression around day 5 when your new approach will be tested.


Offline AKC808

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Re: 9 month old recently waking
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2017, 19:12:33 pm »
Thank you both so much for your responses I really appreciate it! I did look at the pu/pd part of the forum, but still wasn't quite sure if I was doing it right. I'm certainly not set on doing it & would rather not (!!!) but thought that was what you were supposed to do at this point. Glad to hear that there are other options that work. We had a horrible time with our 2 year old (waking hourly from 3 mo-11 mo!!!)until we did sleep whisperer at 11 months so I was nervous to do anything that might lead to "accidental parenting"!! I was thinking she was ok with food because she was comfort nursing instead of eating, but I'll try more food too. Last night was better (woke once), but she didn't respond to just cuddles (made her angry) so I did nurse her, but it was comfort nursing. Glad to hear that I can avoid pu/pd and if you have any other suggestions that would be great! Thank you both again!!

Offline creations

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Re: 9 month old recently waking
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2017, 17:56:47 pm »
Perhaps if you just see PUPD as a thing you do and there is no time limit to how long you hold her, as long as you like until she is calm or if you think she calms better back in the cot then do that. Some of it is a bit of experimentation.
Like I said, I never did timed PUPD but I did read a little the other day when I was posting the links for you. Some of what is described is LO kicking and back arching because they want to be put back down, I will say that I did experience this with my DS even using our usual soothing method (which would be an adapted shush/pat, picking up when needed and putting down to comfort in the cot when needed) this was not during sleep training but through another difficulty when he needed additional help.  Thing is though I saw no difference in his screaming to be picked up and his thrashing around wanting to be held and the screaming for wanting to be put down and the thrashing that went with that. I saw and felt no difference and my DP saw no difference and yet at some point I knew I had to put my DS back to bed because that was what he wanted (and he quieted).  I could not answer my DP when he asked me how I knew.  I kind of knew but I was kind of guessing and had my DS continued to kick and scream in the cot I would have picked up again.  This is perhaps why Tracy gives timings for different ages - although I know I could not stick to those if my DS was crying, that's me.
Long and short then, if you feel you are putting down at some arbitrary time then maybe that's not a bad thing, perhaps you are feeling some kind of instinct.


Offline Katet

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Re: 9 month old recently waking
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2017, 22:15:27 pm »
but thought that was what you were supposed to do at this point.
I don't think there is or should be anything your are supposed to do. All BW (other sleep) techniques are ideas that people have found can (to differing impacts work). Although not recommended at all her Cry it out can work, so for that matter can medicating a child with a sedative & some people (not on this site though :)) will say they are what you should do.

The main thing is we sleep better when we are calm & relaxed. Think about how sometimes you as an adult react differently to situations... if I am angry I like space to bring myself back to calm, if I am upset, I want to be held... babies can be much the same, but of course they don't have words to describe that (& they probably don't differentiate between anger & upset, they just know they need to cry) so they cry. As a parent I feel like I get it 'wrong' as often as I get it 'right' but I do know that there is always another chance to fix up the "wrong".
 For me (I've got a teenage son) I really do thank my lucky stars that when I had babies & toddlers I (mostly) learnt to take the hurdles in my stride... neither of my boys were consistently good sleepers - one of them we discovered when he was 5yo that it probably had been an ear problem - rather sad to hear your 5yo say "I didn't realise you could lie down without your ears feeling funny, the other is very very low sleep need & would only need about 11-12 hours by 12mo, where as I was trying to get him to sleep 13+ like his brother did... so we battled years of up & down sleep, but I can say I've now got a teen & an almost teen they both love sleep more than technology & that's my "easy time now" compared to lots of parents I know.
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05