21mo crying night wakings for 2 months...please help, we're all exhausted!

[labrodyk]

Thank you creations, yes, i think we will stick to 1.15 for 2 hours. She is just so distraught the second she knows im about to leave. Even sitting on my stool near the door she gets so worked up. Today and tonight i just left the room and it made no difference to her time to settle; she cried for about a minute. I just hate leaving her so upset and my 4yo who shares a room with hee doesn't either he keeps asking when it is going to stop

[labrodyk]

Oh my goodness, i am filled with the worst anxiety at nap and bedtime. Gone is my girl who is happy to drift into dreamland even if UT. She screams ans screams like i havr cut off her limbs. It is abaolutely horrific and i really need it to stop but it has been going on almost 3 months!
I thought 12.30 wasnt working anymore because she was taking a half hour to fall asleep then i would need to cap so moved it to 1 then 1.15. She has a couple of no NW nights but then they start again.

At this stage i do not even care nap length or night but is there any way i can get the "mummy mummy mummy ans screaming and tantrumming to stop the second she senses i am leaving the room???

Saturday 8-July
WU: 7.00 ??
Nap: 1.10; 1.15/20 - 3.15 (woke her) she was grumpy the rest of the day
BT: 7.35; 8.05 asleep
^ screamed at me leaving
NW: 10.25 crying out
NW: 10.58 crying out

Sunday 9-July
WU: 6.50
Nap: 1.10; 1.15-2.45, sat up then fell back to sleep until 3.30 when i woke her.
BT: 7.35; 8.05 asleep

Monday 10-July
WU: ? was standing next to my bed at 7am but i think Mr4 woke her much earlier.
Nap: 1.15; 1.20-2.40 (woke crying). Fell back to sleep by 3 until 3.30
BT: 7.30; 8.00 asleep

Tuesday 11-July
WU: ?
Nap: 1.30-3.30 woke herself, happy
BT: 7.30; 8.20 asleep
Terrible terrible screaming we were both in tears.

Wednesday 12-July
WU: 7.20
Nap: 1.15; 1.25-3.30 (i woke her)
BT: 7.30; 8.15
^ screamed like I cut off a limb and took me multiple wi/wo attempts to calm her.
NW: 10.45 crying
NW: 12.10 sitting up crying.
NW: 12.35 crying
NW: 12.45 was falling out of bed so i went to fix her up and as soon as i left shd banshee screamed!!!
Several more nw's cryibg before waking at 6.30!!!

Thursday
WU: 6.30

[creations]

Oh dear I'm so sorry

I'm pretty much out of ideas tbh, you've tried moving nap and BT in case she's OT/UT and I think you tried meds and raising her bed/head to relieve teething pain if there is any.
When I think to myself "what would I do?" what pops into my head is that if this was my DS screaming so hard for days/weeks I would likely tell him "OK today I am staying.  When you go to nap/BT I am not leaving, I will stay with you until you are fast asleep so you don't need to call for me, you don't need to worry. Everything will be okay and Mummy is going to be really close" and then I'd do it.  I'd set up the room/bed as comfortably as I possibly could before hand and then basically resign myself to 2 hrs in his room for nap if necessary.
There have been times I've done this, told him "I'm not going anywhere I'm right here, go to sleep", I suppose I find it emotionally easier than the screaming and I can manage the long time spent supporting if I prepare myself mentally for it before hand, plan for it to happen rather than feel "trapped" if you see what I mean.
I don't know what else I can suggest - the SA sounds terrible and I am not even sure at this point if she is more OT or UT or having teething pain.

If you wanted to start a new thread to get some fresh eyes and new ideas that would be fine - I won't be offended - there could be something that I am just not thinking of xxx

[labrodyk]

Hello creations. I am going to start a new post because there has been no improvement and i don't know where i shpukd even start.... these were pur last few days. We have had 1 sleep through and 1 no protest at nap but the rest she screams and screams. It was orginally a mantra cry so ibthoughg best plan would bd to let that play out. It was brief and inrhought it would reinforcs that it wasn't play time but rather time to snuggle down and go to sleep. No such luck, she has conrinued for over 3 months so i have now resorted to falling asleep quicker than she does, curled up on the end of her bed.
During this craziness we moved my 4yp into her room to share. It works well but my EW 4yo disturbs Audrey who used to sleep past 7am most days. She now wakes at 6.30 or earlier, so 10.5 hours ONS at most. I don't quite mind her waking at that time as i had a tendency to let her sleep late which would put off the whole day and bedtime.

Thursday 13-July
WU: 6.30
Nap: 1.00, crashed out unlike previous week - 3.20!!
BT: 7.30, 8.04
^ still screaming for a few minutes
NW: 10.30 crying
NW: 5.00 crying

Friday 14-July
WU: 7.00
Nap: 1.05; 1.15/20 - 1.50 sat up, back to sleep until 2.40.
BT: 7.30; not asleep until 8.20!

Saturday 15-July
WU: 6.30 or earlier?
Nap: 11.15 - 12.00 (car)
BT: 7.00; 7.15 asleep
Laid with her
NW: 12.30 briefly

Sunday 16-July
WU: 7.00 ish?
Nap: 1.30-3.15
BT: 7.45; 8.00 asleep

Monday 17-July
WU: 6.30?
Nap: 1.20; 1.30-3.40 (woke her)
^ NO CRYING at pd!!!!
Was absolutely .miserable the rest of the day and night. Cried constantly, didn't eat dinner and i had to sit with her at BT: 7.40; 8.30
Screamed and had to lay with her.  Difficulty falling asleep.

[creations]

I'm sorry things are no easier.  I hope you get some more suggestions on a new thread xx Good luck xx