Advice for difficult to sleep train 2 year old

[albers30]

I've got an almost 2 year old that I've struggled with sleep training since the day she was born. Let me just preface this by saying she is the most stubborn opinionated active little girl who has hated the idea of sleep always.  She has never been able to go to sleep independently.  We are the closest we've ever been to that and that is after a 20-30 minute wind down in her quiet room without sisters reading goods we're able to put her in her bed and gradually work our way out of the room leaving the door open standing just outside it so she can still see and hear us until she falls asleep. We've been at this step for a month plus with frequent regressions.  We've tried every form of sleep training discussed on this forum I believe throughout this two years and have not had much success with any of it.  This bedtime scenario would probably be doable if that was it and she slept the rest of the night in her bed but she does not.  She generally wakes up every 1-2 hours requiring anywhere from a shush and pat then right back out the door to a series of events similar to bedtime to get her settled back in.  Unfortunately because this level of sleep deprivation took a toll on us we've given in eventually to bringing her to bed with us at some point which has created a whole other monster problem that through various efforts we have been unable to resolve either.  I don't have any experience with sleep training at this age.  Her older sisters were both sleeping through the night in their beds since around 9 months of age.  I'm looking for any suggestions on how to approach these sleep issues and get my also 2 year old finally going to bed like someone her age should and sleeping independently through the night.  I'm more exhausted now then when she was a newborn.  She is incredibly intelligent and has a good vocabulary and understanding of what I'm saying which I think should help move things along but I just don't know how to approach the situation. Any help is greatly appreciated!

Her current schedule is
Wakes between 7 and 730
Nap between 12 and 1230 for 1-1.5 hrs
Bedtime wind down starts around 730-745 asleep by 8-815 generally

[Haribo2012]

Hi there, I think really you need to progress from standing where she can see you. I'd move to going where she can't see you and reassure with your voice. Say night night mummy will is going to the bathroom etc so she knows your going and leave, return if gets upset but if just moaning stay out of sight.
The regular NW I would guess is the inability to settle herself to sleep so if you work on the GW at bedtime that will help with the nights. I would just put a few days aside to deal with the NW the same as BT and yes it will be tiring and hard for a few days but remaining consistent I think will pay off.
Her day routine looks ok for her age to be honest.x

[albers30]

We have done that and she is pretty good at going to sleep now most of the time whether she can see us or not as long as the door is still ajar. However, the NW has gotten no better and I've spent hours doing that same thing at the NW and she never stops screaming.  Suggestions?

[Haribo2012]

Sorry I thought I read you stay where she can see you. I don't really have anything new to suggest, mostly regular wake ups would suggest pain or the inability to self soothe.

It could be developmental with her birthday coming up!?

[creations]

Hi albers
sorry to read you are having such an exhausting time.  I must admit I'd be totally exhausted by a 2yo coming into my bed every night too!

Can you clarify the situation please?

1. Sleep training.
In your first post it seems you were trying GW but you became stuck at the door where she could see and hear you and that you had been there for a month.
In your recent post you say she is good at going to sleep on her own now.  Have you therefore sleep trained and achieved full independent sleeping over a period of 3-4 days?  Is your issue of a "difficult to sleep train 2 year old" resolved now?  Are you able to do the BT WD (cuddles, song or whatever), say goodnight, leave the room and go immediately off downstairs to begin your Y time, watch TV, do house work, spend time with your other children or DH or whatever, without further interruption?

2. Night waking and co-sleeping.
In your first post as I understand it she is coming into your bed nightly to co-sleep, is that right?  And she would sleep well in with you?
When did you stop co-sleeping, was it right after you posted? So was it the 3-4 nights between your first post and second post?
Have you continued to not co-sleep since that last post or did you return to it, if so when?
Can you confirm then that you are no longer co-sleeping but the issue is that she is crying in the night?

Sorry for so many questions. It would really help us to know what the situation is now so that we can offer advice.