Author Topic: Does EASY get easier? :( (+ EASY at daycare?)  (Read 681 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Ljump87

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 6
  • Location:
Does EASY get easier? :( (+ EASY at daycare?)
« on: July 06, 2017, 20:41:47 pm »
My son is 7 weeks old today. I've been implementing EASY for about 3.5 weeks. Some days are fantastic and he gets all his good naps and occasionally I even get a 5-6 hour stretch of sleep. Some days are crazy stressful because he won't nap, this is especially true in the evening. I have been so cautious of "accidental parenting", but the book really doesn't tell you what to do once your baby is overtired and overstimulated (just how to prevent it, which isn't always possible) or what to do if your baby wakes up screaming from a tummy ache. I have just been trying to go with the flow... sometimes we are on a 3 hour routine and sometimes it is 2.5 hours. I try to focus on not letting him be up for too long. We usually do 1 hour activity.. sometimes he can't handle that long, 10-15 min wind down, and then 15-20 min to fall asleep.

Although many times the methods work to get him to fall asleep, the process is a good 30 minutes. I am thankful he does not need to be rocked or nursed to sleep, but isn't this whole process still a sleep crutch/prop? How do you guys go through this whole process 5 times per day for naps? I can handle 3 times, but 30 min to get 45 min catnaps is crazy difficult. I am just not seeing enough sleep in the night to feel like this is worth it. :(

Also, I am returning to work in a few weeks. He will be with grandma 2 days per week and at daycare 3 days per week. I don't see how this can possibly be kept up in my absence. My mother in law seems to respect what I'm doing  (although she sees nothing wrong with "snacking and catnaps"), but I know at daycare there will be lots of noises and naps will be nothing like the environment I've created for my touchy baby. Will he get better at napping? Will he always need this 30 min process? Will he always need the dark room, white noise, and someone staying with him until he is in deep sleep? I feel like all my hard work is going to be for nothing because no one can care for him like I do and I can't expect them to.

Please help this very tired and anxious mommy. :'( Thank you in advance.

Offline creations

  • Feeding Solid Food & EASY
  • Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 496
  • Posts: 21993
  • Location: UK
Re: Does EASY get easier? :( (+ EASY at daycare?)
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2017, 15:49:35 pm »
or what to do if your baby wakes up screaming from a tummy ache. I have just been trying to go with the flow..
This is exactly the right approach :)
Whilst the books can sound like everyone should be on a perfect EASY all the time, the reality is that it is not always possible and in the books Tracy says that sleep training and routines are only for babies who are fit and healthy - any kind of pain from gas, teething or illness, or any separation anxiety for whatever reasons, or any out of the ordinary goings on will throw the routine off and you'll need to go with the flow a bit until things calm down and you can get back on track.  The number 1 thing is to support your LO through difficulties, even if that means the routine doesn't always work out. So you are doing great! :)

It certainly does get easier. As your LO learns to self sooth you will be needed less.  For much of his baby-toddlerhood my DS was so independent with sleep that he liked the shortest of wind downs (quick nappy change, 1 song and into bed) and for me to just leave him to sleep.  5 mins between playing and sleeping and went to sleep on his own.  Sounds good doesn't it?  That's not to say we didn't have any tricky times, of course we did, any illness, changes in routine, dropping naps, teething, they all throw up problems and LO needs additional help which can be exhausting but in my experience just as soon as my DS could return to independent sleeping he did so.  I am a big believer in gentle sleep training and the benefits for parents.

If you like you could do that CN in the sling or push chair?  As it is a CN many people find they don't mind the prop of holding LO or having them in the sling because you aren't chained to LO for a 2hr stretch, just 45 mins, and that's often a nice time to go for a walk with the pushchair or sling or to start dinner prep whilst LO is in the sling.  It's your choice.

I feel like all my hard work is going to be for nothing because no one can care for him like I do and I can't expect them to.
I feel your anxiety. It must be very hard to be contemplating going back to work and feeling that no one else will care for your LO the way Mummy does. Hugs.
I would speak with the nursery now, well in advance, ask them what the nap time routine is like, what times, if they have a quiet room, how many staff per number of babies, and ask how they settle the babies and what they do if baby doesn't settle.  I think you'll find that they are happy to answer your questions and describe their normal working day to you, after all it is in their interest to make good business and reduce Mum's anxiety.  My LO didn't go to a day care until he turned 3 but I saw the baby room their and they were ever so gentle with the babies.
It might also help you to know that babies make different habits for different care givers so whilst nursery might not put your LO down exactly the way you would want this doesn't mean you can't continue setting your own good habits at home.  Times of routines are perhaps a bit harder to switch around so if nursery have set times for naps it might be in your interest to find out what they are (but I think most will follow short A times for young babies) and perhaps think about how the weekday routine and weekend routines are going to provide consistency for your LO.

This sleep training process is something that is going to help you and your LO for years to come. it isn't all about what happens this week or next week or in a few weeks at nursery.  I have known (in real life) a friend who still had to stay with her child every night at about 9 years old or the child wouldn't sleep, she had never sleep trained, never given her the gift of being confident to sleep alone.  When you consider that perhaps it puts the whole thing into perspective.

if you'd like to talk through the nursery routine or anything other aspect of EASY please feel free to ask more - or just stop by for a hand to hold and a should to unload on. x


Offline Ljump87

  • New & Learning The Ropes!
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 6
  • Location:
Re: Does EASY get easier? :( (+ EASY at daycare?)
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2017, 18:45:24 pm »
Thank you so much for your helpful reply! This really made me feel a bit better.

Sorry this is so late! I thought I signed up for notifications for replies, but I guess they went to my junk mail. I just finally came back to look at this post.

Offline creations

  • Feeding Solid Food & EASY
  • Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 496
  • Posts: 21993
  • Location: UK
Re: Does EASY get easier? :( (+ EASY at daycare?)
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2017, 09:13:31 am »
You're very welcome.