23 Months & Suddenly Waking All Night!

[kristeno]

First of all, I have found so much help on this site! Thank you, in advance!

My daughter is 23 months & we have been using EASY since she was 10 months old. Anytime our routine gets off for any reason, we've been able to reset quickly. I don't know what's different about this time (probably toddlerhood), but we need help.

For a month, she has been waking up at 2 am, screaming. We comfort her & lay her back in bed. But she will not go back to sleep unless we're in her room, sleeping on the floor, next to her bed. She wakes mutliple times after that. If we're in her room, she doesn't cry, but will stay awake for over an hour. We are all exhausted, she even has dark circles under her eyes.

Due to this, she is only napping for an hour to an hour fifteen, compared to her usual 2 hours. We recently thought maybe she wasn't tired enough at sleep times, so we pushed her naptime 15 min.

Current:

WU: 830
N: 2
WU: 315
BT: 945
WU: 2
WU: 4 (by now, we're on her floor)
WU: 6
WU: 730

[ginger428]

Hi kristeno!

Eek, I remember this phase all too well! My DS is now 3. It is largely developmental and should pass after her birthday, but we did have to address a few things. (you might see a huge language leap after this, and maybe some growth in other areas like running and jumping better. My son also grew in height, so it may have been growing pains as well. NOT TO MENTION teething... molars. Have you ruled that out?).

First, I would actually move her naptime earlier by 30 mins bc she is OT. The constant nightwakes will do that. Maybe for about 3 days or so until she seems a bit more rested. On days she has a bad night and a really short nap (60 mins or less), bring bedtime earlier by 15 mins.

What is her usual total sleep per 24 hrs? Her NW and early waking could be a sign that she is getting too much day sleep, but I doubt that's the case for her at the moment... we can come back to this if the following doesn't work.

For us, Separation Anxiety came back around this time. So, we did the following over a few weeks and it really helped him get back on track... try to be patient yet persistent as their little world is changing and is overwhelming for them. <3
-started routine 5-10 mins earlier and cuddled/read a little more
-night light (Possibly one that she really likes... a design or something that interests her?)
-cracking the door open
-phrase like "I'll come back if you need me but it's time for mommy and daddy to sleep." Return immediately if she calls for you so she trusts you'll return... next time say something like "I'll stay for one minute and then I'll leave the door open." This is actually exactly what we said and it worked... There were still nights we had to stay longer and reassure him, but we tried to keep to the same phrases and routines.
-converse during the day and praise how well she slept through the night

Hope that helps!

Oh forgot about the lovey... if she already has one she sleeps with, involve it in the routine and say that if you wake up, you can cuddle ____. If she doesn't have one, involve her in choosing a doll/stuffed animal/blankie that you can again involve in bedtime routine and say that ___ is here to cuddle with you when you wake up. You can help ___ go back to sleep! We did this and pretended to give DS' lovey kisses goodnight, too... eventually we got to giving DS and him give us "blue kisses." Something he made up but gave him comfort somehow.  We took it! =)

[kristeno]

This is all great advice, thank you! We have ruled out teething because her 2 year molars have come through already. She does have sort of a lovey, but she attaches to different stuffed animals for a period & it changes about once a month, but I will try to get her attached to one for bedtime.

I'm afraid that if we leave her in her room, awake, she will scream. Do we just let her it be & come back every so often?

[ginger428]

I never left the room if he was crying hard or screaming and even if he was ok when we left, if he started the second we got out the door, I went back in immediately. The goal is to prove to her that you mean what you say and that she won't be left alone... bc she very well may be afraid.

I hear you... of all the things I listed, I probably tried them all and some other things a couple times each. Some nights, he responded to the door being open, other nights not. Some nights, I would say "Oh, oops... I have to use the bathroom, I'll be right back" and he was ok with that. I'd come back and say "Ok, cuddle time, 2 songs and then to sleep. I'll come back if you need." Other times I had to say, "Oh, let me get your water bottle, I'll be right back." I'd give him a few sips and say something to transition leaving again.  I guess I was setting him up to feel safe with me leaving? Hahah... performed my own psychological experiments didn't I?

I kind of came up with stuff to *distract* him  as we went... It's trial and error and catering to their particular need that night, I suppose. It's hard because there aren't every clear cut methods that work for every child.  I hope this gives you an idea of what to look for and what kind of support to offer. 
Since your DD has different animals, you can say, "which one gets to snuggle with you tonight?" Make a small game of it.  Maybe get a couple new ones and make it a "special" night with that doll/animal if she sleeps by herself. My DS just happened to be attached to his one thing.

Best wishes, and let us know how it goes!