ACTIVITY > E.A.S.Y. Forum

Starting EASY w/a 4.5 month old. Tips if pupd for short naps runs to eating time

(1/2) > >>

Lcollier22:
Hello everyone. Thanks for this great forum.

I've started EASY with my 20week old son almost 2 weeks ago. He was not on a schedule before. We travelled a lot. He is/was a comfort nurser and was eating every 2-2.5 hours or so and barely napping at all. I've seen many improvements so far - now I have basically no issues with his former feeding sleep association, he takes at least one 1.5hr nap per day, sometimes more, and his nights are a bit more predictable. Plus, he's less grumpy bc he's sleeping better.

Just as background, we started on a 3hr EASY, bc he was super tired and used to eating frequently. He is exclusively breastfeeding. Now, we've gradually moved to a 3.5 hour, with an A time of about 2 hrs. I try to watch his cues, but he's a sensitive baby and I feel like if he gets OT or overstimulated it happens very quickly. If I catch the window before naps, he goes to sleep in about 5 mins with a little shhhpat and basically no crying.

I need some help with what to do if he wakes from his naps early, or during the night near feeding time. Today, for example, I put him down for nap #2. It took a bit for him to settle, so we were a little behind schedule. Then, he woke up early. My understanding is that I should try to get him to take the nap until the scheduled end time. So, I did shhhpat/pupd for about 20 mins. Well, he was still screaming and we were very close to feeding time, so I stopped, calmed him down and then fed him. For his third nap, I was careful to give him time to wind down. He fell asleep in about 5 mins with a little crying (which I used shhhpat for). Well, 30 mins later he was up and crying. I started shhhpat and pupd and he wound mptbcalm down at all. It was one of the worst times in the past 2 weeks. After 40 mins it was time for him to eat again. So, I stopped and fed him.

Is this right? I feel like I'm just teaching him that if he cries hard and long enough that he gets fed. At the same point, I don't want to be continuing if he's hungry just so I can "win".

I'm having trouble gauging if we are on the right EASY schedule. Our day basically looks like this:

8am - wake up and feed
9:30 - first nap. He's always more tired in the morning
11am - wake and feed
1pm : nap 2
2:30 - wake and feed
4:30 - short nap
5:15 - wake and feed
7:30 - top up feed
7:45 - bedtime routine
8/8:15 - asleep
11 - dream feed
4 or 5 am night feed

I know that for his age he should be moving towards a 4hr EASY. At this point I don't think he can do more than 2hrs of A time and it's a chore to get him to wait longer than 3.5 hrs to eat. Any tips or tweaks would be very welcome.

Thanks in advance!
Laura

claredm:
I'm struggling with a lot of similar problems ....
Perhaps a top up feed 30 mins before nap. I do about a half feed on one side. That will eliminate the potential hunger cause of short naps.
I read that exclusively breastfed babies struggle to go 3.5-4 hours between feeds.

But ... I"m not experienced at all, so i'm interested to see what the real whisperers say.

Lcollier22:
Thanks, Claire! That might be something to try. I don't actually think that it's hunger waking him up, but I think that after 15-30 mins of pupd, it becomes hunger that makes him not settle back down. My DS has always insisted on eating very regularly, so even getting him to 3.5hrs between feeds is a win for me.

Sorry to hear that you're struggling with similar issues! I hope we both find solutions that work for our babies.

creations:
Welcome to BW forums Lcollier :)

Sounds like you've made a wonderful start to EASY and had great success in the 2 wks since you started - lovely news :)

Thanks for stopping by with your support clairedm, you are absolutely right that some babies just can't make it to 4hr E at this age.


--- Quote from: Lcollier22 on July 24, 2017, 17:03:25 pm ---Is this right?
--- End quote ---
Yes, you're doing brilliantly.  One of the methods when getting onto the routine is try to resettle for a good length of time when there is a short nap, it teaches LO that it is nap time. However if E time is approaching you can feed a little earlier, LO has used up more calories from fussing or crying hard so will be hungry a little earlier, you don't need to try to resettle right up to the very end of the nap time.  If LO is not making any progress towards being resettled at all I would suggest you don't go on longer than 40 mins, if it is really clear sooner that he is not going to or is hungry you can stop sooner.

At your LOs age you could be experiencing a GS so claire's suggestion to try a top up feed prior to nap time might be worth a shot for a couple of days.
I'll just highlight a couple of places in your EASY where things could be getting tricky:

--- Quote from: Lcollier22 on July 24, 2017, 17:03:25 pm ---8am - wake up and feed
9:30 - first nap. He's always more tired in the morning
11am - wake and feed
--- End quote ---
here E is at 3hrs, it's fine

--- Quote from: Lcollier22 on July 24, 2017, 17:03:25 pm ---11am - wake and feed
1pm : nap 2
2:30 - wake and feed
--- End quote ---
here E is at 3.5hrs and he has likely managed this because he was sleeping (it's easier to go longer between E when asleep)

--- Quote from: Lcollier22 on July 24, 2017, 17:03:25 pm ---2:30 - wake and feed
4:30 - short nap
5:15 - wake and feed
--- End quote ---
Here, as last E time was 2.30, 3hr later would be 5.30pm  There is a chance that a top up before this nap could possibly have helped him take a longer nap - you could try it.  I say this because you've mentioned he only seems happy to go 3.5hrs sometimes, not all the time which means waiting 2.30 - 6pm (which would be the end of the nap if it was 1.5hr long) could be a bit too long for him just yet.  he can possibly manage it once in the day but perhaps not twice, it could just be that he is ready to move closer to 3.5 hrs in a couple of weeks or in another month.


--- Quote from: Lcollier22 on July 24, 2017, 17:03:25 pm ---5:15 - wake and feed
7:30 - top up feed
7:45 - bedtime routine
8/8:15 - asleep
--- End quote ---
You haven't said there are any problems with night time, in fact you said it's going well. If this is working well for you then you dont' need to change anything, but if you are struggling at BT or with early night NWs then re-think this last A time which is longer than the other A times and could possibly cause OT before BT.


--- Quote from: Lcollier22 on July 24, 2017, 17:03:25 pm ---Is this right? I feel like I'm just teaching him that if he cries hard and long enough that he gets fed. At the same point, I don't want to be continuing if he's hungry just so I can "win".
--- End quote ---
BW is really not about winning or losing. There is sometimes an approach from parents (or comments from friends, family or others) that we mustn't give in to baby and that parents must "win" in some sort of power struggle. Instead try to think of your routine with LO more as team work.  You can and will impose some things on your LO but respectfully, not all-out competition or battle of wills to "win".
His job is to communicate with you to let you know he is hungry, tired, or needs a cuddle.
Your job is to (do your best to) understand and respond to that communication - EASY makes it a lot easier to understand what he might be asking for because of the predictability of the routine.  There can stioll be times it's hard to understand the communication though!
If he is hungry and cries for food and you give it to him he has not "won" and you have not "lost" - he has been responded to with food which is what he needed, and you have responded to him which is what you do as a parent.  If you switch your thinking to a team work approach it may feel more comfortable (it can be hard sometimes to make that switch as often in our modern society it is not what we have been led to believe is the way forward with our LOs) and you might feel better about the whole routine thing.

here is a link to W2S, could you have a look at naps option 1 and give this a try for the place in your routine where the nap is predictably shorter than the others:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=223809.0
The idea is that it teaches LO to sleep longer for that nap, it is often easier to get them through the transition if you begin before they fully wake up, the resettling process if they do wake can be easier too.  Maybe give it a go for a few days.

I do honestly think you are doing brilliantly so keep on as you are.  And feel free to come back with an update or more questions :)


--- Quote from: claredm on July 24, 2017, 17:12:20 pm ---But ... I"m not experienced at all, so i'm interested to see what the real whisperers say.
--- End quote ---
lol We are all Mummies, just like you :)  There are no "experts" here, only people who found this place, were supported by others and decided to stick around. I found the forums when my LO was 4.5 months old and I have never left.  My DS is 6yo now and I still ask for support when I need it.  We love members of the community helping and supporting one another so do please post where you feel you have some advice to offer based on your own experiences or to offer a hand to hold for those who need it.
I hope you both love it here as much as we do and stay around whilst your LOs grow up into big ones :)

annesmama:
FWIW, here's my experience with a couple of things you mentioned. (We're still a work in progress, though, so take with a grain of salt :)  I have a thread on here too in the General Sleep Issues forum.)

Re: making it to 3.5 or 4 hours:
My LO is also EBF and she only makes it to 4 hours if her naps go long. If short, she'll get hungry sooner and that's OK.  Sometimes it's as soon as 3h, but usually closer to 3.5h -- just depends on how much time she's been awake and what she's been doing.

Re: resettling the third nap:
I can't remember when the last time was she did a long third nap -- her third nap is always 30 minutes to 1 hour tops.  I think this is a common pattern for some babies?  She's 5.5 mos, so a little older than your LO, but I think she's working on phasing that nap out as her A times go up.

Re: when to resettle, how long to resettle:
I do resettling by feel these days -- if she's awake and happy, I try only briefly -- if it doesn't work, I let her have A time until next feed.  If she's awake and crying with her eyes shut or nearly-shut, she's often tired and will resettle within 5-10 minutes.  If she's awake and crying with eyes open, or if she "settles" but then gets unsettled repeatedly, it usually means she's hungry or not tired enough to sleep more.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page