Author Topic: Very picky!  (Read 287 times)

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Offline dache

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Very picky!
« on: August 04, 2017, 16:36:45 pm »
Uhhh, I feel we've been here before many times :/
Dd's list of foods she eats is even shorter than before. She herself says I only like to eat pasta, potatoes, cheese and white chese.
She used to eat tomatoes, cucambers, lentils, beans...
Is it a phase? I dont want to have to hide food but here I am making mashed potatoes with chickpeas hidden in it because that will be the only thing she'll have for dinner. I'll put fish on her plate and cherry tomatoes but she wont eat it.
If I put sauce on the pasta she wont eat it, not even the pasta. She eats bread, ketchup and cheese but wont eat pizza.  Eggs are hit and miss.
Her blood work is ok-ish, bit she will have a procedure in September and I'd like to give her immune system a big boost.
 I' ve been doing the Decision of responsibility method for some time now but with  no results. I'm thinking of telling her that she has to take x number of bites from everything on her plate, but I really dont want to make food an issue for her. Is hidding food the only way to get her to eat some veggies?



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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2017, 19:07:47 pm »
I just noticed you didn't get any replies, sorry about that.
How are things now?  Any change at all?

Does she take milk? Juice?
How old is she now?


Offline dache

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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2017, 13:41:37 pm »
No, things are very much the same and I`m starting to feel like I`m failing her because I should have taught her better.
I`m also kind of upset with people and eat not listening to me when I say she need better nutrition, this includes dh.
Our friend/neighbor that dd visits everyday often gives her sweets or bread and cheese. These are the people she interacts the most. I`ve told our friend that I wont let dd go over there if she ignores my instructions. Now I wonder if she gives her snacks in secret, telling her no to tell me. In that case I`d be really upset and dd will not step one foot at hers ever again. Deep breaths...lol. Hormones  :) 

She drinks rice milk and juice but not fresh juice.
Other than that she eats potatoes, bread, cheese, pasta, white rice, polenta. I`d say she only eats white food but she also eats eggs sometimes, chocolate spread, jam. That is it. You can see why I`m worried. I think I`m going to get some vitamins for her but do not want them to be a substitute for food she is supposed to be eating.



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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2017, 19:10:19 pm »
Dache, I'm so sorry. I've been off since my last post on this thread with a debilitating bad back - could not walk, sit or anything so have been totally unable to get onto BW.  Sorry, you must have felt like I'd stopped by and then just ignored you!

Can't promise to be on as much as I usually am as I'm still not great but wanted to at least let you know why I disappeared.

Is there any chance she's filling her tummy with the rice milk and juice rather than food?  Do you keep a check of how much she drinks, I mean just log it rather than stop her at this point, but if it's large quantities then maybe cut back?

I would talk with her, not about food but about keeping secrets, your neighbour sounds like a pain if she's giving sweets in secret.  The rule I have with DS is that secrets ALWAYS have a date they are let go of. That if someone tells him to keep a secret he HAS to know when the release date is (ie Daddy's birthday, keep the gift a secret until X date, which is his birthday then the secret is released) and that if anyone ever refuses to say a date that is within a realistic time frame (like for ever) then that is a bad secret and one he has to tell mummy about immediately.  I reiterate this instruction every birthday, xmas, etc etc and ask him what the rule is before re-telling. It is a good safety rule IMO.

I would get a multivitamin anyway - honestly my DS eats great, always has but he has also always had the vits because it is advised in the UK for all under 5s and we just continued even though he is now 6yo.  We don't use it as a substitute for food at all.

Need to put DS to bed now. Will try to think of some ideas for you regarding the food.


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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2017, 19:59:28 pm »
I`d say she only eats white food
I've seen/read about LOs with limited coloured food and also met someone who had a LO who would only eat beige.
Have you tried lots of different white/beige foods (not all in one go, maybe one or two per week)?  Sorry, I'm not sure what local veggies you have there but here I'd be trying things like parsnips, turnip, swede, white fish (maybe in batter), white beans, white asparagus, banana, melon (something like a honey dew with the skin taken off can look quite white) and so on.  I'd try different ways to sere them in small amounts, so maybe mashed parsnip but another day parsnip chips (do you call them fries? can be oven roasted/baked).
I also don't like to "hide" veggies etc, I wanted my DS to know exactly what he was eating, but for some LOs it isn't just fussiness is it, it goes a bit further than that, and if you are really struggling then perhaps this is one of those times when you need to start at *her* starting point and gradually move on from there?

Would she eat cake/cup cakes?  Have you tried the white bean and egg cup cakes?

chocolate spread
Will she eat peanut butter?  Or a mix of choc and peanut?  Or peanut butter with cocoa mixed through?  it would be more nutritious.
Otherwise I think I'd be looking at what I could put the choc spread on as a way to lead in to taking some other foods.  If she has it spread on toast will she eat it spread on another type of bread?  Will she have it as a dip for pasta?  yeah I know that sounds kind of weird and you might wonder what's the point but just combining two different foods can be a big step for LOs with limited foods, it can be the first step in a journey.
Did you already read this article on food chaining?
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=286797.0


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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2017, 14:23:46 pm »
Dont know why I couldnt open this thread :/
I have read that, thank though.
She doesnt like peanut butter. I try to sneak it in under a lot of spread but nope. She had her blood checked yesterday and she has anemia and needs supplements. They postponed her tonsillectomy because of that.
So I heard this on youtobe and I have some friends that do the same- when the parent puts something on the plate the child has to try it, at least one bite. I dont know if it`s even worth the try. She is very rebellious atm and I she will be super upset if I made her eat something she doesnt like.
Yesterday we had pasta with chicken and veggies. I just put some pasta and a few pieces of meat on her plate. She cried because she didnt wanted the meat on her plate. I told her if you want me to remove the meat you have to eat at least one. She didnt wanted to eat. So I told her that if she tried I`d give her a treat. She only licked the meat which is the best result that I got from her with all that I tried. We dont deny her sweets and snacks (at the right time), but maybe this is worth a try? Offer a treat if she tries the food and fx that she likes it? Bribery? 



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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2017, 17:40:48 pm »
How old is she? I made a chart for DD with different things different foods are good for. So if she gets peppers we go look at what she is making grow or improving by eating them. She enjoys eating different things and looking up what they do. I can send it to you if you think it might work. Also I've noticed that DD will definitely eat what she makes herself. She makes sandwiches, scrambled eggs, chicken nuggets and battered fish. I also hide some fruit and beg in popsickles. If you blend strawberries, banana, yoghurt and zucchini it freezes well and she gets one for dessert every day. I vary the fruit but the banana or yogurt is a must for creaminess and sweetness. Zucchini is good for hiding in things because if you peel it it practically disappears in food.





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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2017, 22:31:15 pm »
Offer a treat if she tries the food and fx that she likes it? Bribery? 
Honestly this is not something I'd be confident would work but perhaps you feel you need to try something new.  I would be very cautious about your own mood/emotion in attempting the "one bite" or bribe route because if she still says no and refuses you can end up stuck in a situation where you feel you can't back down, she won't back down and the relationship suffers.

Have you thoughts about seeing a paediatric dietician or maybe a child psychologist to help with this? It really sounds like a food phobia, I think it is very hard if you don't have some professional support an guidance.


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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2017, 08:30:52 am »
How old is she? I made a chart for DD with different things different foods are good for. So if she gets peppers we go look at what she is making grow or improving by eating them. She enjoys eating different things and looking up what they do. I can send it to you if you think it might work. Also I've noticed that DD will definitely eat what she makes herself. She makes sandwiches, scrambled eggs, chicken nuggets and battered fish. I also hide some fruit and beg in popsickles. If you blend strawberries, banana, yoghurt and zucchini it freezes well and she gets one for dessert every day. I vary the fruit but the banana or yogurt is a must for creaminess and sweetness. Zucchini is good for hiding in things because if you peel it it practically disappears in food.

Yes, it would be nice if you can sand me the chart.

Crations, I really dont know what to say. You are right, I dont feel comfortable with the one bite and bribe. I was upset about her results and was determined to find a solution. I`m better now :D  From what I`ve read online I dont think its phobia.   It`s more because she is very strong willed. She will cut the papers with all she has but wont eat it. Unless she decides she`ll eat it it wont happen.  She had caned tuna yesterday, it mixed in with pasta and ketchup and she ate quite a bit. No hiding it, she said she didnt doesnt like fish but she but still ate a full plate and more.

We renovated our kitchen and it`s more kid friendly so she can be much more involved. I will work around basics that she likes, she didnt like chicken in her pasta but she ate the tuna, so that`s good information. I`ll try the chicken with potatoes or rice or something else. Trying to find combinations that will work for her. I think adding beet to a yogurt smoothie will make it look like the ice cream she like so we might have a chance there. LOL I`m waiting for the summer to be over to see how she does, hopeing cooler weather get her in the mood for heartier food :) But if not, I`ll look at dietitians.



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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2017, 19:37:58 pm »
Well it's great she ate the pasta with tuna mixed through! :)

Sorry I have no better suggestions for you - here to hold your hand though if you need to talk things through x


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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2017, 01:40:06 am »
To differing degrees both my boys were like that at 3/4yo... it was a hard slog, kept putting 5 different things on the plate 1-2 favourites, 1-2 maybes & 1-2 wouldn't eat.  It frustrated me because at 1yo DS2 would eat everything, then he went to basically pasta, bread, sausages (only from one shop too) apple & cheese (only one type).

A few things that helped me mentally... reading a book where the author talked about the 1900's meals for children - bread & dripping, & how in the early 1900's the diet variety was 12 things total for most people & how these days we offer too much variety.  So I kind of set up a mental goal of 1 new food/month. We never failed that one! 

For a long time I'd put the 5 things on the plate & say "you don't have to eat it but this is how we serve up meals" to this day I still try to have 5 things on a plate & DS2 still will only eat if they are raw veg, not cooked!! 

When DS1 was 4yo there was a food talk at the preschool & the person said children need to be exposed to a food on average 20 times before they will try it... I said to her, yes &  to make that average my DS1 needs 5 children who taste on first exposure because he's more like 100 times, sometimes 500 times... seriously I put a carrot stick on his plate every day for 2 years before he'd eat them!!

Now DS1 is a 14yo the list of what he won't eat is much shorter than what he will... he still won't have pork, but then I don't eat Lamb, but he will eat brussel sprouts, cabbage, spinach etc... still not broccoli though!!

On the secret topic... we had a rule, the only secret that you can't tell Mum is what she is getting for her Birthday or Christmas, if anyone else tells you to keep it a secret from Mum then you are breaking an important family rule & you can tell Mum.  We also added that Secrets always needed to have Mum or Dad in them even if they were with other people.
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2017, 13:47:53 pm »
On the secret topic... we had a rule, the only secret that you can't tell Mum is what she is getting for her Birthday or Christmas, if anyone else tells you to keep it a secret from Mum then you are breaking an important family rule & you can tell Mum.  We also added that Secrets always needed to have Mum or Dad in them even if they were with other people.

We talk a lot about this at the moment. I guess now that she discovered them it`s interesting to her. But I`ll repeat myself as long as it takes to get it in her head. And I dont let her go to the neighbor`s place so much, she can stay for a few minutes, but not every day and only after she has dinner, which is around the time the neighbor takes the dog out for a walk and she can go with her, but they dont stay long because dd doenst want to be out when it gets dark. I`m happy about this because although dd likes her a lot and we spend a lot of time together we are too different. One example is sugar. She is diabetic and has had major complications because of it and she really believes the body needs sugars like cookies, chocolates, sweets. I`m agree the body needs sugar but natural sugars and sweets are something we have sometimes because it`s something we like.

For dd`s eating...One new food sounds reasonable. Her anemia is a problem. They postponed the surgery for a month while she takes the iron supplements. And they told us to be more persistent with food. I will start juicing more, I`ve seen a couple of recipes that are sweet but loaded with protein and iron so I`ll do some of them. Slow and steady wins the race, right? :D



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Re: Very picky!
« Reply #12 on: September 17, 2017, 08:06:43 am »
At least you know she is getting the iron from the supplements, not what you want though, I know.
I've no doubt suggested this before - pate?  It was one of the things my DS would happily eat when he didn't eat much meat.  He would eat it in chunks.  Good for iron.