Author Topic: 15 mo foster, bad sleep issues  (Read 1146 times)

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Offline deb

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Re: 15 mo foster, bad sleep issues
« Reply #15 on: August 08, 2017, 14:51:08 pm »
A child waking inconsolable and needing comforting to get back to sleep is a child who doesn't *yet* feel completely safe & secure IME; that kind of stress can manifest in ways other than what we adults think of as "normal" ways of showing fear. (I've worked with kids who come from environments where they're under stress of one kind or another 24/7 and are in a constant state of arousal and fight-or-flight, and it sometimes manifests in behaviors like what you've described.) Not trying to diagnose here, but what you've described sounds almost word for word like what I see and what their carers see; it's not that they're overtly afraid, but that their bodies are overdosing on cortisol and adrenaline, which affects their behavior (imagine a small child having been given a megadose of caffeine THAT NEVER WEARS OFF :( ); the stressful situation - whether fear or anger or a combination - causes the physiological changes that in turn manifest as violent outbursts or withdrawal tics or an abnormally strong dependence on some sort of comfort, whether food or hugs or rocking - sometimes alternating among some or all of those and more. There's very likely indeed a habit aspect to her needing the bottle - but would she demand it so forcefully if she didn't need the comfort? If she's been in this environment for 15 months, you and she have a lot to overcome, and I'm glad she has you to help her.  :-*

Some other thoughts: is she cutting any teeth? This was about the age when my DD1 started cutting her canines and would wake inconsolable in the night when the bedtime pain meds had worn off; we started keeping a syringe of liquid ibuprofen already filled on her dresser, and a container of Orajel. What's her diet like? Is she getting any exercise during the day? Trying to think of other things that might be interfering w/sleep or might help sleep along...

Offline jussiemariee

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Re: 15 mo foster, bad sleep issues
« Reply #16 on: August 08, 2017, 15:08:30 pm »
She is cutting molars. I may try to dose pain meds at night.  I need to get with the caseworker on otc meds protical.

Thank you for the stuff on stress, I'm sure that is somewhat true.  I guess, I had no idea just how "high needs" a toddler could be all day, and how needy at night.  My DD was a fussy kid, but this is a new level of needy.  She won't go in a play pen or in a safe  play room that is gated off.  I literally have not had a second for my 6 year old, without listening to her scream since she got here.  I'm sure it is just going to take time, I just don't want to being making her more dependent on false comfort by always giving her a bottle. I need to see some sort of moving forward I guess to keep me from giving up in frustration.

Offline jussiemariee

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Re: 15 mo foster, bad sleep issues
« Reply #17 on: August 08, 2017, 15:57:13 pm »
Adding, I got the baby wisperes toddler book from the library and she sounds exactly like the sleep issue child in the book except being addicted to a person(mom's boob) it is the bottle.  Right down to freaking out in the crib. I may try to follow Tracy's plan for making her more comfortable being alone and being in bed and work from there. 

Offline We Three

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Re: 15 mo foster, bad sleep issues
« Reply #18 on: August 08, 2017, 17:38:23 pm »
 I think it's important too not to underestimate the depth of trauma that comes with being removed from her home and caregivers. No matter what sort of situation she was in, it is all she knows on this planet.  I think that even under the best circumstances, (a child who is bonded, and has self-soothing skills), that separation would be a primal wound. But add to that a child who has additional underlying issues (neglect?abuse? Chaos?) and it's easy to see that she may just really not be capable of coping yet. All you can do is be kind, consistent, and gentle. It's heartbreaking, really, and I'm glad you're there for her.