19mo long NW

[clarem100]

Hello

I have been here before but could do with some more help please

My 19mo has regularly had long NW for about the last 8 months. It's not every night but when she does it, she can be awake for an hour / hour and a half. She will lie in her bed chatting to herself until she falls back to sleep. Her bedroom is completely dark so when she is awake she can't see anything! She doesn't have a dummy or anything in her bed. Although I have been considering giving her a toy so she had something to cuddle but I'm worried this might keep her awake longer.

We had a 3 week period where she stopped doing it and I thought great she's grown out of it but then she started again.

I am wondering whether I need to cut her nap down to an hour? At the moment I don't let her sleep much more than an hour and a half as bedtime was getting very late. She generally takes 10 minutes or so to fall asleep at nap time but bedtime is more like 45/50. She will chat until she's ready for sleep.

On the nights when she has been awake she generally sleeps in later in the morning. Do you think I need to stop letting her do this? I worry if I do this though that her total sleep will be even lower!

This is really starting to have an effect on our relationship and I hate it :-( I am exhausted and frustrated and can see no end to this!

[clarem100]

12/08
6.25
1.15?-2.25
7.35?

13/08
6.45
1.20?-2.25?
8.12

14/08
6.25
1.08?-2.49 woke up
8

15/08
6.20
12.55-2.53
8.15
Awake 3:40-4.15? As sat up

16/08
6.35? falling back to sleep sitting up at 7 so unsure if been awake properly
7.50
1.10?-2.53 woke up
7.35

17/08
7.35
1.20-2.48 woke up
7.45?
Awake 2.50-3.55

18/08
7.15
1.20?-2.49 woke up
7.45

19/08
7.15
1.30-2.52
7.50
Awake 12.10-1.20

20/08
7.25
1-2.40
7.40
Awake 2.50-4.30?

21/07
7.55

[clarem100]

I should add that she's recently started sitting up in her sleep. When she does this I need to go back in to lie her down as she hasn't worked out how to do this herself yet.

[clarem100]

Any advice would be appreciated on the sitting up in bed. I'm having to go in to her room 6/7 times a night to lie her back down. She sits up in her sleep and cries as she can't get back down again. Most of the time she stays asleep but if she does it around 3/4am this then normally leads to a NW.
 
I have been limiting her nap to an hour or so to see if that helped the NW. It has definitely helped bedtime as it was taking her 40-60 minutes to fall asleep, now it's more like 30.

22/08
7.10
1.25-2.45 woke up
7.50

23/08
7.40
1.23-2.17 sling
7.30

24/08
7
1.35-2.40 woke up
7.30

25/08
7.25
1.20?-2.20 sling
7.35

26/08
6.05
6.55?-7.30? Woke up
1.25-2.35
7.20
Awake 4-5

27/08
7
1.15-2.30 woke up
7.50?

28/08
6.50
1.35-2.43 woke up
7.50
Awake 4.10-5?

29/08
7.05

[ginger428]

Hi clarem,
So sorry that you haven't had any posters.

I'm so glad to hear that it's taking less time for her at BT.
Did she always drop naps earlier than usual? Asking because she may be one of those that drop nap earlier (around 2-2.5 as opposed to 3 or 4), and sleep better at night. If she starts to take long to fall asleep again, you have the choice to shorten her nap even more, or push out BT later.

For sitting up in bed, I would PRACTICE as much as possible during the day. I would model it, make a game of it, and have her try it everywhere... on the floor, on the couch, even in her bed during the day. Be very specific, yet simple with instructions. "Arms out and down, head down, roll over, tada!" Let us know how that goes on. After a couple of days, when she sits up at night, go to her and ask her to put "arms out, head down, etc..." until she can do it independently.  Eventually, wait longer to go to her and she how she does. Hope that helps.

[clarem100]

Thanks for the reply.

She dropped from 3-2 naps at 7 months and 2-1 consistently at about 15 months. Although, in hindsight, I think we should have done this sooner but i was too scared to try it! We had a lot of afternoon nap resistance from about 11/12 months. For now at least the capping at 1 hour / 1 hour 15 seems to be helping so I will stick with that for now.

She does know how to lie herself back down again in the day when she is awake, but at night she is still asleep when she does it. For her naps I have been going in and lying her back down as the other day she just fell asleep sat up!! However for today's nap I went in and asked her to lie down instead and she actually did it herself and has now slept lying down. I guess I could try saying lie down in the night but I worry about waking her up and this leading to a long NW. At least now I am in and out in a few seconds and she largely stays asleep. Unfortunately I don't!! I know this is a phase that will pass but it's killing me having to go in 7+ times a night!

[ginger428]

Good to hear that there's consistency with her nap.

Isn't it silly when they do that? I remember taking screen shots of the monitor screen with DS fell asleep sitting.  So interesting!

Maybe initially you can do less and less of touching her... so maybe a gentle push or so in the direction you want her to go. Once her night sleep is really solid, whispering for her to lay down might help... perhaps along with a push and eventually lose the touch part. 

I really do hope it's a phase that'll end soon! 7x a night is tiring!!

[clarem100]

thank you, yes I am going to try that.

Last night we had an awful night - i was in and out 7/8 times and then she was awake just after 2 until nearly 4. 
Yesterday she napped for an hour and 20 minutes so I'm just hoping it was that I let her sleep too long - I'm not convinced though! Today I woke her after an hour so we will see how tonight goes.

[ginger428]

Oh no!!!

Is she in any discomfort that you can tell? Teething? Canines and molars wreaked havoc on DS' sleep.

[clarem100]

No I don't think so. She doesn't cry or anything, just chats and moves around her bed. Last night was much better. I only had to go in 3/4 times and not at all after 1am. She slept 7.40-7.30. I woke her after an hour yesterday so am going to keep with that for a week and see what happens

[ginger428]

Glad you had a better night!

[clarem100]

Another NW last night. 3.30-4.40. Any advice? We've had NW for 8 months now. My husband is back to school this week (he's a teacher) and my eldest is starting school so we all need to be well rested!

[ginger428]

Did you have to resettle before or after the NW at all?

Would you be willing to try one thing for 2-3 days? Around this age, DS went through a big regression.  He ended up sleeping much later than usual until we were able to try no napping closer to 2 yo.  Not sure why this has lasted so long for you, though.

If he's going down well for naps, can you try moving BT to 8:30? Unless you notice he's really tired by 7:30?

[clarem100]

No I never have to resettle - I don't go in to her room at all. She will sometimes cry out 2/3 times for a few seconds but isn't properly crying. Other times she will just wake.
I am reluctant to make bedtime much later. Mainly for selfish reasons - I'm already going to bed at 9 to make sure I get some seep so I would get no evening to myself. I also worry that if she still has a NW, her night will be very short?

The last few nights have been a bit better. We had 3 in a row where she woke (just over an hour, 40 minutes and 45 minutes). It's normally for at least an hour and a quarter - hour and 45 so I guess this is an improvement.
Yesterday I put her down for her nap earlier so I could wake her earlier and make the afternoon a bit long. So she napped 1.05-2.15 and was asleep at 7.20.This is the earliest for a long time. She then slept until 7.30 this morning and I had to wake her!! She is just so unpredictable! I wish I knew why!

[ginger428]

Oh I completely understand about getting some time in the evening. Since she's doing well and seems to be catching up on her sleep, I'd see how it goes.  Later BT is usually a last resort since we don't want to create more OT.  Could be that she was a bit OT with the consistent NWs and needed that earlier nap? Who really knows. One thing you gathered was that she did well with a 5 hr to bed. Hope the worst has passed!