3 month old help dropping 4th catnap and still can't make it through transitions

[mommykay410]

I'm about at my wits end right now with DS's schedule and inability to make it through the transition between sleep cycles for naps.     He is 14 weeks old and I have been putting him down wide awake and swaddled for naps since 2-3 weeks old and he falls asleep on his own within 5 minutes of laying down.  There are rare occurrences when he sleeps right through the transition and has a good 2 hour nap, but most days he starts rustling around at 40 minutes in, and if he can't settle himself by the 1 hour mark then he starts crying and I go in to shushpat him.  Sometimes I ca give a quick pat and am out in 5 minutes, but other times I am stuck up there for almost an hour because just when I think he has settled and fallen back to sleep, he cries out again.  I never pick him up to try and rock him back to sleep anymore at this point because that just makes him wide awake, so regardless of how much fussing he is doing, I just shh and pat his shoulder/chest.  I tried to go without the swaddle because he was trying to get his arms out and fist to his mouth and when his arm would get stuck in the swaddle he would get mad and that would wake him up.  He was doing great with his arms out at night for about a week or so, but I've returned to just leaving one arm out at night and now have the miracle blanket for naps because he really couldn't settle back at transition with his arms out then.  I'm pretty sure I have his A time right, which is 1.5 hour or a little less depending on the time of day.  If he is up any longer than that I end up having to pat him to settle down to sleep and he wakes crying at 30 minutes already and I have to pat again. 

The other issue is that some days I am still having to give him a 4th nap around 5:30/45 because he wakes up too early from his 3rd nap to make it to bedtime.  On days when he wakes at 8 in the morning we are good because I nurse him at 6:30/45 for bed and he falls asleep by 7:20.  But the past few days he's been waking up around 7, so he needs that extra nap to make it to bed. 

He's also been having trouble falling asleep at bedtime the past few nights and has been waking up 2-3 times instead of once.  Not sure if this is just a growth spurt again or if this is the start of the 4 month regression. 

Here is his EAS for the past few days:
Sunday
WU 7:45
E 8:15
N 9:20-10:50 (slept through transition)
E 10:55
N 12:15-2:55 (in and out doing shhpat from 1-2ish)
E 3:05
N 4:30-5:10
E 5:15
E 6:40
S 7:35-10:10 (E)
S 10:50-3:05 (E)
S 4-6:40 (E and tried to lay back down but was awake for the day)
Monday WU 7:10
N 8:30-10:55 (shhpat 9:10-10:10)
E 11
N 12:20-2:10 (shhpat to fall asleep and at 1-1:25)
E 2:20
N 3:35-4:20
E 4:25
N in sling 5:50-6:10
E 6:40
S 7:25-9:50 (E)  (had to shhpat to sleep and at 8:25-35)
S 10:50-1:25 (E) (also had to pay from 10:25-50)
S 1:55-6:50
Today
E 7:15
N 8:25-9:50 (slept through transition)
E 10:15
N 11:20-12:20ish (tried to shhpat but got super frustrated and ended up just getting him up)
E 12:50
N 1:35 - ? (had to shhpat to sleep)

Any thoughts on what I can do to help him through the transitions and also get him to drop that 4th nap?  Starting to lose my mind 

[LaraAndrea]

Does sound like the start of 4 month regression. It is common developmentally for babies to struggle with short naps around the 4 month mark (you are about there). The first few months of life babies have newborn/baby sleep patterns. But around this time is when babies start with adult sleep cycles (~40 min just like you are experiencing). Babies have to learn how to connect these cycles.

If your baby already has some independent sleep skills then the next thing to look at is AT. It is harder for babies to connect cycles unless the are good and tired. As you approach 4 months and switch to 4h EASY, you will probably have to push AT. AVG AT for 4 month old is 145-2h. You are currently doing 1:30 or less ?

I also remember Tracy discussing how the lengthening of time between feeds (4h easy) may help baby learn to eat a bit more and then last longer between feeds. But BF doesn't always work that way. Are you BF? Or formula?

My LO was exclusively BF till 6 months and I did gradually spread feeds longer and I found she became a more efficient eater and was able to go longer at night between feeds as well

[mommykay410]

Thanks for your reply.  He just turned 3 months a week ago, so I figured we were getting close to the regression.  I didn't fix it with my DD until she was 5 months and that's when I discovered BW, so I am hoping to catch this one early enough so it doesn't last so incredibly long.  Up until 3 days ago he was sleeping from 7:30-7:30 and only waking around 4 or 5 to eat, except for one other growth spurt a few weeks ago when he woke up an extra time for 2 or 3 nights.  He is exclusively BF and tends to not eat as much as he should at a feed, so I definitely think he needs to get to at least 3.5 between feeds, but when he doesn't nap long enough that makes it tough.  I will try to increase his A time a bit tomorrow morning before his first nap at least and see how that goes.  He has trouble staying up happily longer than 1.5 for the next A times and if I push him for those he ends up OT and I have to pat him to go down and he starts crying out at 30 mins instead of waiting til 40 or 50.  If he does make it through transition, it's usually for his first nap.  I have very little patience for shhing and patting when I have my DD to tend to or hope he doesn't wake her from her nap with his transition screaming.  How long does the regression usually last before they are able to connect the sleep cycles?

[LaraAndrea]

I think I moved to a 3.5h EASY around 3 months. Tracy does have a sample progression to move from 3-4h EASY. I will have to look for it and get back to you. I am pretty sure it suggests gradually increasing one AT at a time.

From what I have seen on this site the regression can last a few weeks or up to 6 month point.

For us we had the early stages which went partially unnoticed until I looked back, then we had about 3 weeks of trouble. 2 of those weeks involved support through transition. Then we started to see improvement. What ended up working in the end was gradually increasing AT. At first it was so counterintuitive and against BW ideas on OT baby. But I also found with the nature of the regression (short naps) no matter what we did, for a time lead to OT. It is not unusual to get caught up in an UT/OT loop.

I also find it is far easier to settle an OT nap (20-30 min wake) and virtually impossible to settle an UT baby.

Results take time which makes this whole process harder and more frustrating b/c you do not know if you are making the "right move"

[mommykay410]

Dear Lord I hope this doesn't last until 6 months    I definitely have to get rid of that 4th catnap because he is waking up earlier and earlier every day.  This morning he was up at 6:45 so there's no way he will make it til bedtime without the 4th catnap though.  I kept him up for 1.75 hrs for his first A time this morning and he napped from 8:30-10:05 which is not long enough to extend his day after waking so early.  He wasn't able to fall asleep on his own bc he was a tad OT so I had to pat him, and he almost made it through transition but I had to pat him for about 10 minutes.  He wasn't the happiest camper during his next A time so it was hard to keep him up for 1.5 hrs but I did and had to pat him to sleep again.  At transition I had to pat him on and off for 40 minutes because he kept crying out.  He won't be sleeping much longer right now either because DD is in the next room screaming her head off because she doesn't want to nap, so she is bound to wake him up soon.   

[LaraAndrea]

*hugs*
I have faith that you will have the short nap kicked before the 6 month mark. You are being very proactive!

But you are at an awkward stage. At 3 months baby still likely needs the cat nap. It is hard to drop to 3 naps until you are in a 4h routine. But slowly increasing AT will help you get there.

In Tracy's suggested 4h routine you keep the cat nap but drop one of the longer naps in the hopes that you might get two 2h naps and one 30-45 min cat nap. (Ideal state... Real world may look different)

As you increase the AT the idea is that baby will be tired enough for longer nap.

In your case it makes the most sense to do as you are working on first AT and nap, then work on extending 2nd.

Don't get too excited or ahead of yourself. At 3 months it may be hard to sustain the longer AT (but every baby is different. My LO always like above avg AT)

You seem to be doing quite well actually!! I remember having to pat through transition for a couple weeks, which at the time felt like years. With another child I can only imagine how much harder it must be.

Hang in there! Don't let the short nap own you (I know I did and it made me crazy)

[mommykay410]

Thanks for your support and encouragement.  And for reassuring that he still needs the catnap.  I remember reading at some point that early wakings can be a sign of being ready to drop a nap, which is what was making me think he needed to drop it now, but with the way his schedule is right now it's pretty impossible.  I guess it was also unrealistic to think that he was going to sleep til 8 in the morning if he went to sleep at 7 even though he does wake up to eat and has slept those hours a few nights which allowed him to take just 3 naps.  His third nap is only ever one sleep cycle though, so unless he can extend that we are going to have to keep the catnap (which is really one of 2 catnaps). 
It definitely does feel like I have been patting during naps for years!  He hasn't slept through transitions on his own consistently since around a 1 month old, so I'm getting a bit tired of it at this point. 

[LaraAndrea]

My LO slept till 8am on 3 h easy but that changed to 7 pretty quick. Many babies especially leaving the newborn stage won't do much more than 12h at night.

I don't think BW considers it an EW unless it is before 7 unfortunately (even if it feels early to us).

I don't think it is a big issue that you have 2 full naps and 2 CN currently, especially if you think that the 3rd nap disappears soon.

I find all the nap transitions a bit tricky.

[mommykay410]

Well after last night the nap transitions are the lesser evil    I had to pat him to sleep as I have the past few nights and he was asleep around 7:20.  Then he cried out at 8:35 so I went in to pat him, cried out again at 8:45 and patted him, then again at 9:10 at which point I decided to nurse him and he pretty much had a full feeding.  Slept til 12:40 and was up again so I fed him, another full meal.  Then only slept til 3:10 and I ended up nursing him again.  Then he was up for the day already at 6:40.  So the past few mornings he has woken up at 7 then 6:55, then 6:45, now 6:40.  He didn't eat very much this morning when I tried to feed him at 7, but that was because he had to poop after eating so much last night, so he ended up eating just before 8 and he fell asleep on his own for nap at 8:30.  A few minutes ago he cried out at transition but I gave him a minute and he went back to sleep.  Hoping he stays asleep for a good 2 hours so he can work on extending this early day.

[becj86]

So the past few mornings he has woken up at 7 then 6:55, then 6:45, now 6:40.

Hi,
You've had some great advice from LaraAndrea.
Just dropping in to say that this is a classic sign that the first A time needs an increase.

[mommykay410]

Thanks, becj86.  I am definitely seeing that.  Yesterday he easily made it to 1.75 for his first A, and was able to make it a few extra minutes for the later As too.  He made it through the 45 transition for his first nap and then cried at 1.5 hrs but I was outside talking to a neighbor so I didn't get back in too fast to pat him (actually I was going to get him up), but he fell back to sleep on his own after a few minutes of crying.  If I were inside I definitely wouldn't have let him cry that long, but it worked out to everyone's benefit because that turned into a 2.5 hr nap.  I had to pat him a few times during his 2nd nap but that ended up being 2 hours also and he only needed 3 naps to make it to bedtime, for which he fell asleep on his own again for the first time in days!  I only nursed him twice last night when he was crying and I'm not even sure if that's what he needed because he was having a hard time settling due to a super stuffy nose and coughing because he was having trouble breathing through his nose, poor guy.  I was worried he was going to wake up at 6:20 this morning because he was coughing and starting to fuss, but I let him go and he didn't wake up til 7:30, which is much better than the last few days.  I'm hoping today goes even better, as long as his congestion doesn't affect his sleep too much.  Thanks so much for your support!

[becj86]

Sounds good!

A 1.5hr (2 cycle) nap is restorative, so longer ones are lovely but not necessary, so please don't feel you have to make him sleep 2hr to fit the 4hr EASY routine.

[mommykay410]

I would be fine with 1.5 hr nap but when he cries at that time he is still tired, so while I would normally just go and get him up, I noticed that if I pat him for a bit at that time he will stay asleep another 1/2-1hr, which has allowed us to drop that 4th nap these past few days! 

He is almost at 2hr A for first AT as I've been waiting a bit for his cues before putting him down at 1.75 just to make sure he is good and tired, but he struggles to stay up too long for the later As before getting OT.  He has been pretty good about making it through transition for his first nap, but I always have to pat him for his 2nd nap for quite a while on and off after transition.  Is that because that A needs to be pushed too? 

[becj86]

Is that because that A needs to be pushed too? 

Most likely, yes.

Sounds like you're doing well at reading his cues

[mommykay410]

Having a hard time figuring out that 2nd AT (and 3rd for that matter).  And he is getting up twice at night instead of the one time he was prior to his growth spurt last week (which was 3-4 NWs).  I'm thinking this is because he has fewer feedings now that he is awake longer and napping fewer times.  Yesterday he woke up at 7:40, napped from 9:30-12:20 (had to pat him at 10:45 but then had to wake him up at 12:20), napped from 2-3:30 but had to pat him from 2:55-3:25 then decided to just get him up.  Then he napped from 5:10-5:45.  He has been having trouble falling asleep on his own for the 3rd nap, but yesterday was able to.  Last night he woke up at 10:45 and 4.  Today he was up at 7:20, napped 9:05-10:35 (had to pat him at 9:45 and tried to at 10:35 but gave up and got him up), napped 12:20-1:50 (had to pat him at 1:15 and 1:35).  The timing of when I have to pat him at transitions seems to vary...sometimes it's 30 mins in, sometimes 45, sometimes 1hr, sometimes 1hr15.  It doesn't seem to matter what his AT is prior to his 2nd nap, I have to pat him at a transition no matter what.  He has been having long morning naps for a few days (but not today) and is mostly able to transition on his own. Then his 2nd naps have been 1.5-2hrs.  So we have gotten rid of the pesky 4th nap and now just have the short 3rd.  Not sure how the rest of today is going to go though now that his next nap will be at 3:35 and will most likely only be 45 minutes, so he will have to make it from 4:15ish to bedtime around 7 because I'm not going to catnap him at 6.  It's looking like he won't be making it through transitions on his own til that magical 6 month mark at this rate because I've been patting him for the last 3 months for 90% of naps 

[becj86]

He's nearing 4 months of age, yes? If so, he may need an A time increase (average at 4 months is 2hr) before that second nap, looks like 1:40 at the moment and it seems he's consistently UT in the nap (anything really from 40min-1:15 suggests UT).

[mommykay410]

He will be 4 months on the 21st.  I just started pushing his first A from 1.5 to 1.75 a few days ago, so I didn't want to push him too quickly.  If I push him too far he has trouble falling asleep on his own and then cries at 30 mins in.  Should I push his first A to 2 hours before pushing his second A a little longer?  Or should I hold his first A at 1h45/1h50 and do the same amount of A for the 2nd?

[becj86]

Its the second nap you're having issues with, yes? If so, just push the second A. Some kids need A times consistent through the day, some need them slightly longer, some shorter.

[mommykay410]

Today was better...he slept through his whole first nap from 9:05-11:25 after an A of 2 hrs, and he almost made it through his second nap after an A of 1hr55min, but I did have to pat him a bit around an hour in and he slept for almost 2 hrs total.  I will stick with the 2 hr A time for now and see if that holds for a while and hopefully he will start sleeping through.  Thanks for your help!