Short total sleep time

[JoseCorteReal]

Hello!

My 12w DD is driving me and my wife crazy.
For weeks we have struggled to implement a 3h EASY routine without success because she will not nap long.

In the beginning we had to wake her for feed every 3h (low weight new born) but as time went by she would have erratic sleep times.

Last week we decided it was time to go all in on EASY, so we started to put her down for sleep using the described techniques. For the first 3 days we instantly managed to get some 1h naps and some 1.5h naps.
But then on the 4th day she would take extra long to settle (up to 1h) and then 30 min naps, 45 if we are lucky.
Additionally, in the night time she would always sleep from 8p.m. to 1 or 2 a.m. and wake for feed. Before, after this nightfeed she would fall back to sleep and sleep for another 3hour and wake again. This time we would not feed her and get her back to sleep until 7 a.m. at least. But now, she is waking and will not go back to sleep on her own. Even with our help it can take up to 1h.
As a result she seems very tired during the day and we can't break the cycle.

As for schedule, we are making 1h15min A time and trying to complete the 3h mark by getting her to sleep the remainder time (even if it takes to get her to sleep again after a shorter nap).

We feel there is something wrong with something we do but cannot pinpoint it. We tried to push more A time and also less. Anyway she always fusses a lot to get asleep.

Any ideas?

[jessmum46]

Hi and welcome!

I hate to say it but really it sounds all quite normal - though I'm sure very frustrating!! 

The first thing I would do is to feed her at the second night waking.  The normal pattern for babies of this age is to have one longer period of night sleep (which she is doing 8pm-1/2am) and then wake at roughly their usual feed cycle for further night feeds i.e. about every 3 hours.  It sounds like she had some great sleep earlier on but babies change constantly and night feeds is not a one-way thing - they can increase and decrease at various times and for any baby under 6 months I would tend to feed immediately if it has been a decent interval since the last feed.  Growth spurts happen frequently in the first few months and can often throw previously good routines off track.

Secondly, have you heard of the wonder weeks?  It is not a BW concept but it is something I found rang pretty true for my kids, especially the second one. Essentially the theory goes that there are predictable periods in a baby's development where they are working hard on developing new skills, and as a result tend to be fussy, clingy, and have poor sleep.  In the early weeks these often correspond with growth spurts too.  There is apparently one of these fussy times around week 12 which is where you are right now - possibly something to do with how she is behaving?

You are doing what sounds like all the right things otherwise so try to relax, recognise these bad days don't go on forever and if it's all gone wrong for the day, go out and have a nice day with your wife!!  Baby will cope

[JoseCorteReal]

Hello,

Thank you very much for your words. Being our first daughter, it can be quite confusing. We don't really know if we are doing things right or if it is a matter of timing, repetition... they are always changing!

Anyway, without giving up we endured in the routine and the day after went on better. She seems to still need a lot of help making those sleep transitions and that is becoming hard on us, almost no Y time. I guess that about 4mo it will get better on its own.

As for those wonder weeks, I do have a friend who always said her DD would get 2 or 3 rough nights just before talking, walking, or some other major milestone!

[jessmum46]

As for those wonder weeks, I do have a friend who always said her DD would get 2 or 3 rough nights just before talking, walking, or some other major milestone!

At 15 months my DS was awful for about 3 weeks, constantly miserable, clingy, crying, really just hard work.  Then literally overnight he came out with 30 words and was happy as anything!