It's all a mess

[_Elisanah_]

Naps, bedtime, night time...evwrything sleep related is a mess. I'm really annoyed with myself because this is dd2 and after all the sleep props dd1 came to depend on, I was determined to not let that happen again.

For the last week dd2 has not wanted to be put down at all, I'm the only option that will do...she screams when oh holds her. She has always napped in a wrap or carrier...she has reflux and took too long to go down considering I had a 2 year old in the house. She feeds to sleep at bedtime and wakes constantly throughout the evening and night (like within 20 minutes if not immediately from being put down). I've started cosleeping with her just to get some rest but this is really not something I want to do long term.

I knew all the things I was doing were potentially going to cause issues but oh hasn't been well, dd1 needing attention etc...ive just fallen down the rabbit hole of unhelpful sleep associations...again.

Can you help me work out how to improve things? Where her sleep has been increasingly worse I don't think she is going to wean off feeding to sleep by herself, and I need to change things for my sanity. Had a massive argument with dh tonight over sleep stuff  (made up now, we're both just insanely tired).

She is 6mo, rough day looks like:

Wake up - 6.30
Bf- 7ish
Breakfast (started 2 weeks ago)- 7.30
Nap- 8.45 to maybe 9.30
Bf -10.30
Nap-11.45 to maybe 12.45
Bf-2ish
Nap-3.15 to maybe 4
Solids and bf- 5ish
Bath (alternate nights)- 6.15
Bf to sleep- 7
Then wakes throughout evening.

Those are very approximate. But she bf's between 3-4 hours  (she was  a real snacker but we're moving to every 4 hours now that she's on solids). And in terms of naps she goes to sleep 2hr15mins from waking up. Should I move more to a set time for naps now so its the same each day? I feel like her A time maybe needs to be longer but she gets really grumpy after 2.15hours! Probably worth mentioning that, while she's never been a long napper, she tends to get woken up by either her sister or noise...so she may nap longer if in cot.
 
I just wonder what to work on first...day or night? Can I do both? Should I wean her off the props (I.e. start by holding her to sleep before putting her diwn) or go straight in with PUPD?

I'm thinking of moving bf to the start of bedtime routine and introduce a lovey/toy to help sleep.

I just feel in such a mess and I don't know where to start!

[jessmum46]

Hugs, sleep deprivation is awful isn’t it? You mention reflux - is she treated for it and are her symptoms  controlled?  Working gently on some independent sleep skills (provided she is comfortable) will probably help, but I also think stretching her A times is a good plan. 2h15 is very short for a 6 month old-many are up to 3h or so by this stage and on 2 naps (or headed in that direction). It sounds like she starts the day with a short UT nap and then by the end of the day ends up OT from lack of restorative sleep. I would try pushing her to 2h30 and hold for a few days, then extend by another 10-15mns or so every few days until you are closer to 3h and hopefully getting some better naps. I’m on my phone so I can’t link easily but have you seen the 3-2 information in the FAQs?

[_Elisanah_]

Thank you for replying to me (again!)

Her reflux is much better since starting solids. We're just trialling her off ranitidine at the moment but her sleep hasn't really worsened since that. I have since read that PUPD isn't great for reflux babies though so I think I'll have to do more of the gradual retreat approach. I have a feeling PUPD would just stimulate her anyway, she's quite spirited!

I did wonder about her A time...I'll try pushing her longer, hopefully it will help. I'll take a look at he 3-2 transition, thanks.

I was going to start working on her sleep tonight but she is full of cold. I might try to work on naps though to see if I can get her to lie in the cot. I was thinking of initially rocking her to sleep and then lie her down. Then hopefully progress to lying her down awake.

Thabks for your help, I'm sure I'll be back with more questions!

[jessmum46]

No problem let us know if we can help x