Author Topic: Sleep regression?  (Read 826 times)

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Offline JoseCorteReal

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Sleep regression?
« on: September 20, 2017, 13:19:16 pm »
Bello

My 14wo DD is driving me crazy...
We made it to establish a routine for 3 days some 2 weeks ago but every since those 2 weeks she starts to cry the minute I start the wind down... and as soon as I close the light, she has a meltdown. Then it takes 20 min to stop crying, plus some more 30 min of shh pat to get her asleep. In the past, if we were unlucky, agreed would sleep 30 min. Now it has been 10, 15, 20 min naps...

We made it to establish a 3h routine with 1.5 hour E+A and 1.5h S... what is going on? Sometimes she is so stressed we rock her to sleep and still she makes 15 min nap on our lap!

The evenings we don't DF (never worked quite well for us) but she would go to bed around 20h and wake up for feed at 2-3, she is now waking at 00-01, and then with what seems light sleep after that (our video feed shows her flailing her arms quite often...)

Any hints on what's going on?

Offline becj86

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Re: Sleep regression?
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2017, 08:36:26 am »
What's her temperament? She may prefer not to have a wind down - my son hated them, some kids need them, some kids just need a sleep cue (DS just needed swaddling and I would unswaddle once he fell asleep). She may be undertired when you do the WD, hence her protesting then by the time that's over, she's OT so maybe try a touch more A time before starting the WD.

Can you post your EAS for a few days, please? That will give us a better idea of what's happening.

Any pain in the picture? Reflux, teething, etc. can be an issue...

Offline JoseCorteReal

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Re: Sleep regression?
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2017, 10:10:25 am »
Ok, the EAS of when things were getting on track was

7.30 wake up
8.45-9 wind down (walking around house)
9-10.30 sleep
So on pretty much the same until wake at 19.30, eat, bath and then bedtime at 20.30

During the night she usually wakes between 00 and 01 for feed (we don't DF because we didn't get good experience...).
She will wake again by 4 for feed, and again by 6, at which time I go and help her sleep the last hour.

Nowadays the night routine is the same, but she yawns in the first wake after 45 min awake only. And we get puzzled if she is sleepy or not, so the rest of the day she is whining like crazy when seems realizes she is being put down, we can get up to 1h of shh pat for her to sleep 10 or 20 min.

The days routine is all over the place because she is sleeping  bad. Then at night we realize extra waking that she manages alone and gets back to sleep...

Offline becj86

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Re: Sleep regression?
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2017, 21:57:42 pm »
Ok, so I think she might be tired in the morning because she's not sleeping particularly well through the early hours of the morning but that's one side of a cycle in which she's having her first nap too early so doesn't need to sleep well through the latter part of the night. Sounds like when you're following those cues, she's going to bed undertired and become overtired because she's missing the sleep window. I'd suggest sticking to the 1.5hr A time but maybe try one or more of these:
- less wind down - sometimes babies just don't need as much WD - just more of a sleep cue, so perhaps just walk in and swaddle her/put her down in bed/sing her your naptime song.
- don't turn off the light for day sleeps - some babies don't like/need it and can nap fine with a light on. This also helps differentiate day from night.
- transition object - sometimes baby wants to take something from the last activity to bed just to help bridge the gap. My son had a spoon he took with him everywhere...
- introduce a lovey/comfort item - an object your child sleeps with/associates with comfort - great for sleep and for injuries/upsets as they get older

Offline JoseCorteReal

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Re: Sleep regression?
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2017, 11:33:13 am »
Hello

Thank you for the good advice. Since my last post some things have happened:
- she is now less fussy. Seems like growth spurt finished, it's amazing to see some clothes just not fitting after 1.5 weeks.
- we went for naps with light on. And we put her in the crib and briefly entertain her with a simple toy. We wanted to make the crib something nice, not the fight pit. This also means she no longer is on our lap for wind down. For some reason, she is prefers like this...
- we are using a transfer item which took 2 days for her to pick on. We rub the doodoo (do you spell it like this?) In her face and she starts to close her eyes.

After 3 days we don't get autonomous sleep but she is MUCH more less fighting it. Most of the times she needs a pat for 15 min and will sleep for about 40 min. For us, this is already an improvement.

As for the A time, we are sticking with the sleep cues. We will adjust accordingly to the resistance she puts to sleep. We feel this is the only way we will get to know her and eventually we will get it right.

Of course this makes EASY off the chart. We don't associate feed with sleep but it's not EASY or AESY either. Yesterday this meant breastfeeding her every 2 or 2.5h, but the plus sidr was that after 19.30 bedtime she only woke up to feed at 3 a.m. (she was waking at 00-01!).

She is now almost 3.5M old. As she transitions to 3 naps we hope it will all work out... any hints from here?

Offline becj86

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Re: Sleep regression?
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2017, 19:13:38 pm »
That sounds like a great step in the right direction. Those 40min naps are either developmental or undertired - sometimes LO's around this age can have trouble moving from one sleep cycle to another as they become more pronounced around 4 months, so its not easy to say whether its UT/developmental.

We rub the doodoo (do you spell it like this?) In her face and she starts to close her eyes.
Not sure what you mean but doodoo - means something completely different in Australia but it sounds like you've got a comfort item she's associating with sleep :)

EAS is a routine, not a schedule. You can do it simply by following the order there - Eat when she wakes, play, then put her down for a sleep, eat when she wakes, etc. Its meant to give predictability to LO (to know these things will happen in order and needs will be catered to, ideally before they're screaming for it) and makes it easier for you to work out what might be needed when she's upset.

Yesterday this meant breastfeeding her every 2 or 2.5h, but the plus sidr was that after 19.30 bedtime she only woke up to feed at 3 a.m. (she was waking at 00-01!).
Sounds like it worked out well. Keep and eye out for long happy wakings in the early hours of the morning/waking up earlier and earlier for the day. Those are both signs she's needing to be awake longer. I think if you are able to go off her cues, her A times will probably increase gradually and things will work o0ut well for you all.

Lovely to see your growing confidence with your baby's cues!

Offline JoseCorteReal

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Re: Sleep regression?
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2017, 09:59:15 am »
This is a dudu

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/10/6b/68/106b6837292b9d14ad812e7ee58a23ca.jpg


Yes, it is a transfer item!

One last question: is it normal that my DD always starts to cry in the crib and must always be put to sleep by shh pat? Will she eeventually accept it?

Offline becj86

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Re: Sleep regression?
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2017, 19:14:53 pm »
One last question: is it normal that my DD always starts to cry in the crib and must always be put to sleep by shh pat? Will she eeventually accept it?

Noy necessarily. It could be that she is undertired and not keen on going to sleep just yet. Could be that she wants to be left to settle without shush/pat. Could be she's upset to have left her fun activity. She has no way to tell you any of these things without crying.