He naps 2 hrs after waking and then again 2 hrs later, then 6 hrs to bed? If this is the case, this is an unusual routine for this age. On average, 11/12 mo need about 3-4 hours of activity before a nap or bedtime. 3 hrs of day time sleep is also usually the max for this age and could interfere with night sleep- shorten it. Or cause early wake ups. Also, too early of a Nap time will cause a baby to shift their morning wake up earlier to compensate... if he needs 3-4 hrs of activity before nap and is napping at 9:00am, it could cause wake up around 5am.
Is bread a common source of food for toddlers where you are? For use, that much bread would probably cause some bloating and gas, which is uncomfortable for babies and for us caused a lot of tears and screaming. "Bread" for us is the sliced kind, white and what variety. Wheat is a common gut sensitivity trigger, not necessarily an allergy. Has the pediatrician ever brought up food sensitivities or discussed it? Again, have you ruled out teething pain- do you see any redness or swelling in his gums? I know that the first year is full of teething. We used to give some medicine to help with sleep.
At this age, I would not give him a bottle until the first feed after wake up and in the light. Giving him one at 4-6 can perpetuate a habitual wake up for milk like you said. I would drop this and see if tweaking his routine will help.
Here is a link to sample 10-12 mo routines.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164031.0For your baby, I would first eliminate any bottles in bed. Then, try to put down for his first nap at 10am. Second nap, another 3.5-4 hrs after waking up from first nap. If daycare is not flexible with nap time, then I suggest you give only a 15 minite catnap at 9:30, and start reducing it even further until he is down to one nap. Once he is down to one nap at 12-2, I would put him down for bed at 6:30/7.
Let us know how the check up goes and what you think about the routine changes. Hang in there and remember that this is one of the toughest stages.
Parenting is a very tough thing... trying to find the balance with everything, to not feel guilty, and to do what's right for the baby. I know it can be very overwhelming. Let's take things one thing at a time starting with his routine and bottles. With regard to his behavior- you are right that he is just a baby and as he can't communicate his needs, we meet them as best as we can. Personally, I believe ignoring children at this age can cause anxiety and distrust from baby. I don't feel you can spoil a baby with attention... they crave and need it to feel secure. I've read somewhere that the more appropriate nurturing a baby gets, the healthier they'll be emotionally. Certainly there are more sensitive babies (i have one!) that make it more of a challenge for parents- but we can rise to the occasion and help them. Remember that you caring this much makes you an excellent mom!!! You seeking guidance is wonderful!! And you are able!! You do have enough love and patience to give. Sometimes we have to draw more out, but it'll make you a stronger person. Just tonight, I had to grit my teeth and bear an extremely difficult meltdown at bedtime. I left the room to take some deep breaths, returned and as calmly as possible, met my son where he was... he couldn't control his emotions and actions but I could control mine. I gave him more kisses than usual bc As hard as it was for me, those big emotions and loss of control is very scary for them. There are many ways to help toddlers learn to express emotions for sure, but sometimes the reactions they have are developmental and out of their control. Hugs to you.
