Oof! Now I feel terrible ... and so confused!
She is just over 5 months. 4.5 adjusted.
The reason I let her fuss for a bit yesterday is because going in seems in general to make things worse. She'll be low level fussing (in the past) and I go in and it becomes full level screaming and frantic.
On the days of the good naps I left her alone and she went back to sleep. I wouldn't say she was screaming at those times, just making angry jabbering noises.
I know that babies aren't Swiss watches, but what I need on my part are specific and concrete things to try. I've been teaching for almost 20 years (I'm starting the rest of my life late) and one thing I've learned is that when a student is struggling, if I can come up a concrete plan for her, she can begin to make progress. But if I just tell her very general things like "well, you need to write better" she gets frustrated and things deteriorate even more. That's where I'm at right now. I need a plan. I know awake times aren't exact. But I also know tired signs can be habitual. So I need a plan of action, like if she shows tired signs within 15 minutes of the standard awake time for her age, put her down (which is what I've been going with). Or, leave her alone when she wakes if she's happy or fussing up to a certain level, but pick her up if she seems distressed. Or etc.
Yesterday was a wreck. Here's the past three days or so.
9/19
A: 7:50
Eat: 8:00 (crappy)
Nap: down when she started rubbing her eyes at 9:30, minimal fussing, but didn't actually fall asleep until 9:50. Woke a few times and put herself back to sleep but woke for good (happy, chatting) at 10:35.
A:10:35
Eat: 11 (because she was fussing, but she didn’t eat well. Also didn’t eat well at
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S: down at 12:25, minimal fuss, asleep 12:35; movement at 1:03, 1:15 woke and fussed (uhappy jabbering at 40 min mark; fed at 1:20, sort of slept through this)
E: 1:20 (in middle of nap)
A: 1:45
E 3:20
S: 3:35 (ish – fell asleep while feeding, woke briefly when I put her down, went right back to sleep)
A: 5:15
E: 6:10
S: 7 (down, didn’t sleep until 8, probably due to swaddle issues)
E: 9, 2, 5:30
9/20
E: 5:30
A: 7:45 (??)
E: 8:50 (3hr 20 min, ate well)
S: 9:35 (9:30 down, minimal fuss, started rubbing eyes at 9:15) woke 10:15 but stayed quiet, went back to sleep after about 10 minutes)
A:11:25
E: 12:50
S: 1:30
E: 2:00
A: 3:00
S: 5:30 (5:05 down, few sleepy signs, fussed a bit, finally nursed to sleep
A:5:48
Bed: 7:20 (down in 5 minutes)
9/21
E: 6:00
A: 7:15 woke
E: 8:50
S: 9:30 (down at 9:00, started rubbing eyes 8:30-8:45)
A: 10:00 (screaming, wouldn’t settle)
E: 12:00
S: 12:30 (down at noon)
A: 1:00 (screaming, wouldn't settle)
E: 2:50
S: 3:11 (3:00 down – started to fuss before I put her down. 3:33 woke. From here, took her for a long walk in the stroller, then a car ride, etc. She finally fell asleep around 7, then woke at 8:30, fussing that escalated when I did my usual, which is to go in and comfort every few minutes. Woke again at 10:30, 2, and 4:30, but just to eat.)