Author Topic: Are awake times ever *shorter* than the day before?  (Read 1528 times)

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Offline Confused New Mom

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Are awake times ever *shorter* than the day before?
« on: September 21, 2017, 14:30:09 pm »
So yesterday I felt like I had a breakthrough.  Great naps all day, in spite of having to transition her from car seat to bed during the second nap.
This is my question: if I kept an extremely detailed log of her awake times (with the help of the video monitor) can I count on her awake times today being at least as long as they were yesterday?  Or is it a crap shoot again?

The reason I ask is that yesterday morning I put her down for her first nap after 1 hour 50 minutes of awake time and she promptly fell asleep.  This morning after a great night she started fussing after an hour and 30 minutes.  Assuming I should be consistent, I  again put her down after an hour and 50 minutes and she fussed for half an hour before falling asleep.  She woke up screaming after half an hour.  Now I'm worried I put her down overtired.  If I could rule out that I didn't that would at least give me a direction to go in..

Here's yesterday and today:

9/20

E: 5:30
A: 7:45
E: 8:50 (ate well)
S:  9:35 (9:30 down, minimal fuss, started rubbing eyes at 9:15) woke 10:15 but stayed quiet, went back to sleep after about 10 minutes)
A:11:25
E: 12:50
S: 1:30
E: 2:00
A: 3:00
S: 5:30  (5:05 down, few sleepy signs, fussed a bit, nursed to sleep
A:5:48
Bed: 7:20 (down in 5 minutes. woke once at 10 and once at 2)

9/21
E: 6:00
A: 7:15 woke
E: 8:50 (well)
S: 9:30 (down at 9:00, started rubbing eyes 8:30-8:45)
A: 10:00 -- screaming. left her to work it out 20 minutes, then gave up.


Offline ginger428

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Re: Are awake times ever *shorter* than the day before?
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2017, 23:01:03 pm »
Awake times can be longer/shorter than days before.  As dynamic as sleep/tiredness is and based on mood/hunger/activity level... awake times can vary day to day. ESPECIALLY in the first year when growth occurs at an extremely high rate.  It is more a range than an exact amount. 

I'm assuming your LO is about 4 months?

Babywhispering methods and this forum discourages any form of cry it out for any duration of time. Screaming is a form of distress, no matter what the cause, and attending to cries right away help can help establish trust and security which ultimately leads to a child more willing and receptive to parental guidance. When she woke at 10:00 from her nap, she could have been OT.  You could try helping resettle her, which is common to do at this age as their sleep patterns change.  Patting, gentle rubbing, shh-patting, etc... 

How was the rest of the naps today?

Offline Katet

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Re: Are awake times ever *shorter* than the day before?
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2017, 07:22:52 am »
Sadly parenting a baby is about as far from a Swiss rail,timetable as you can get (btw Swiss trains are always on time to the minute... or at least they were in the 1990's)
With babies under 6 months esp each day will vary a little or a lot so an exact pattern will never work, which is why watching their cues is far more valuable than the clock

When you said you left her to work it out for 20 mins and she was screaming... she's months or even years away from working that out.  Crying is her communication and hard as it is when we emotionally need them to sleep for our own sanity they need to know we respond... 20mins of crying is a lot of stress to the brain of a baby, which is why Baby Whispered is based around never letting a baby cry without a parent their to comfort them. studies show the stress levels of a baby crying in a parents arms or with a parent touching them are something like 10 times lower than if they are left to cry on their own.
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline Confused New Mom

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Re: Are awake times ever *shorter* than the day before?
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2017, 09:16:36 am »
Oof!  Now I feel terrible ... and so confused! 
She is just over 5 months. 4.5 adjusted.
The reason I let her fuss for a bit yesterday is because going in seems in general to make things worse.  She'll be low level fussing (in the past) and I go in and it becomes full level screaming and frantic. 
On the days of the good naps I left her alone and she went back to sleep.  I wouldn't say she was screaming at those times, just making angry jabbering noises.

I know that babies aren't Swiss watches, but what I need on my part are specific and concrete things to try.  I've been teaching for almost 20 years (I'm starting the rest of my life late) and one thing I've learned is that when a student is struggling, if I can come up a concrete plan for her, she can begin to make progress.  But if I just tell her very general things like "well, you need to write better" she gets frustrated and things deteriorate even more.  That's where I'm at right now.  I need a plan.  I know awake times aren't exact.  But I also know tired signs can be habitual.  So I need a plan of action, like if she shows tired signs within 15 minutes of the standard awake time for her age, put her down (which is what I've been going with).  Or, leave her alone when she wakes if she's happy or fussing up to a certain level, but pick her up if she seems distressed.  Or etc.



Yesterday was a wreck.  Here's the past three days or so.

9/19

A: 7:50
Eat:  8:00 (crappy)
Nap: down when she started rubbing her eyes at 9:30, minimal fussing, but didn't actually fall asleep until 9:50.  Woke a few times and put herself back to sleep but woke for good (happy, chatting) at 10:35.
A:10:35
Eat: 11 (because she was fussing, but she didn’t eat well. Also didn’t eat well at 8)
S: down at 12:25, minimal fuss, asleep 12:35; movement at 1:03, 1:15 woke and fussed (uhappy jabbering at 40 min mark; fed at 1:20, sort of slept through this)
E: 1:20 (in middle of nap)
A: 1:45
E 3:20
S: 3:35 (ish – fell asleep while feeding, woke briefly when I put her down, went right back to sleep)
A: 5:15
E: 6:10
S: 7 (down, didn’t sleep until 8, probably due to swaddle issues)
E: 9, 2, 5:30

9/20

E: 5:30
A: 7:45 (??)
E: 8:50 (3hr 20 min, ate well)
S:  9:35 (9:30 down, minimal fuss, started rubbing eyes at 9:15) woke 10:15 but stayed quiet, went back to sleep after about 10 minutes)
A:11:25
E: 12:50
S: 1:30
E: 2:00
A: 3:00
S: 5:30  (5:05 down, few sleepy signs, fussed a bit, finally nursed to sleep
A:5:48
Bed: 7:20 (down in 5 minutes)

9/21
E: 6:00
A: 7:15 woke
E: 8:50
S: 9:30 (down at 9:00, started rubbing eyes 8:30-8:45)
A: 10:00 (screaming, wouldn’t settle)
E: 12:00
S:  12:30 (down at noon)
A: 1:00 (screaming, wouldn't settle)
E: 2:50
S:  3:11 (3:00 down – started to fuss before I put her down. 3:33 woke. From here, took her for a long walk in the stroller, then a car ride, etc.  She finally fell asleep around 7, then woke at 8:30, fussing that escalated when I did my usual, which is to go in and comfort every few minutes.  Woke again at 10:30, 2, and 4:30, but just to eat.)
« Last Edit: September 22, 2017, 10:17:39 am by Confused New Mom »

Offline ginger428

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Re: Are awake times ever *shorter* than the day before?
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2017, 19:51:09 pm »
Don't worry! I've been there and honestly you're doing the best that you can. I also get you're meaning with regard to routine and structure and a plan.. we just can't time it to the min and sometimes the plan had to change so often as development or issues dictated with some babies... like it did with my son!

I see that you're receiving help on another thread regarding the same issues so we're going to lock this one.

To reiterate what LaraAndrea said, we don't leave babies to cry (full, distressed crying ALONE)... we learn to distinguish between mantra cries and true, I need you cries.  Like she said, your gut will usually be right and if not sure at times, with practice you'll figure it out! During sleep training, we anticipate crying and protest, we're just always present and support them when we can. Feel free to ask us anything about this as we're here to help.

Best wishes and I'll pop in on the other thread if needed.