Author Topic: Seperation anxiety...?  (Read 1580 times)

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Offline LaraAndrea

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Seperation anxiety...?
« on: October 16, 2017, 12:31:52 pm »
So we have had a whirlwind few weeks...
I started back to work full time and my LO started full time daycare.

It seems that she has developed some separation anxiety (which I expected to some degree). She cries briefly at drop off and pick up but seems to be doing well during the day and her naps at daycare are good 75% of the time.

The problem is with bedtime...

If I put her down (which is generally the custom as I nurse her before bed) she will scream as soon as I pop her off the breast (otherwise she would probe comfort nurse all night eeek) and she will continue to cry hard for 20+ min.

If my husband puts her down she fuss cries for no more than a minute, so we have switched roles for a few days.... Is this an acceptable option? Or will this only prolong the problem?

In addition to the trouble putting her down, she has taken to waking abruptly and crying hard, usually between 3-430 am. The first time this happened at 445 am I was not able to get her back down, she would calm down in my presence but scream if I put her back down. Since then my husband has been trying to settle most of these night wakes, but it has been taking 15-30 mins.

Any suggestions?

Techniques?

Or is this something I have to wait out?

Offline jessmum46

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Re: Seperation anxiety...?
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2017, 18:51:02 pm »
How old is she now?

I wonder if there is an element of OT/overstimulation at play here as well as the expected separation anxiety?  Do you think she could need an earlier bedtime and/or a longer wind down time?  That waking in the 9.5-10.5h range has often meant a 'crash' at bedtime for us i.e. was too tired to 'drift' off to sleep and sometimes getting them down a bit early on daycare days can help.  Hard I know when you just want to spend time with them but maybe worth a try?

If having your husband put her down for now makes everything calmer then I would go with it :) 

Offline LaraAndrea

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Re: Seperation anxiety...?
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2017, 20:13:42 pm »
Overstimulated is possible, but I actually think she is more physically active at home than at daycare.

With the screaming/crying at bedtime she is quite likely OT. We have been putting her down a bit earlier, but by the time she calms it is later (hopefully will improve with husband putting her down)

but it is the behaviour with the wakes that we are struggling with. She had a number of OT wakes during the 2-1 transition but it would take only 30sec to a min to settle her, or she would settle herself. Now she wakes with such an intense cry :( and she is so hard to settle.

I will ask my husband to try putting her down earlier tonight.

Offline LaraAndrea

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Re: Seperation anxiety...?
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2017, 10:38:25 am »
I am beginning to think there is something bothering her...

Her cries are so different, sounds like she is in pain and she is gassy. Her cow's milk intake has increased over the last couple days... I am wondering if that is the culprit, it at least part of it...

Offline jessmum46

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Re: Seperation anxiety...?
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2017, 13:46:38 pm »
Could be - I too found OT wakes usually quite quick and easy to settle.  Discomfort usually meant a longer unhappy settle.  Has she ever had problems with cows milk before?

Offline LaraAndrea

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Re: Seperation anxiety...?
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2017, 20:36:00 pm »
No, she has not. But she went from 2-3oz of cows milk a day to 5-8oz. She also started grinding her teeth today. She has never been that miserable with teething before, but maybe it is a combination.

Offline Katet

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Re: Seperation anxiety...?
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2017, 23:21:59 pm »
My DS1 didn't adjust well to daycare, and his sleep was not great. We also found he struggled with cows milk, so started using toddler formula and that helped a bit...he still kept sleeping badly as the over stimulation had a big impact on him. We later found out (at 5yo) he had a low grade dairy allergy, as do yhe formula was the right choice. So it might be worth cutting the cows milk out
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05