With wonderful advice from the naps board, things are starting to improve in the day. My little girl will be 5 months (adjusted -- she's 5.5 by DOB) this week. She doesn't nap great but she does sometimes take 2 hour naps, which means we're getting past the 45 minute intruder. She sleeps about 13 hours at night, though she wakes a few times to eat.
We have a good nap/night routine. I avoid feeding her within 20 minutes of putting her down. I turn on her mobile, put her in her sleep sack (she can roll, so swaddling is out), read good night moon, put her in bed, turn off the mobile, and leave. If I time it right she doesn't cry at all, if she's OT she might cry for a few seconds. Then she goes to sleep. I put her down between 7 and 8.
The new thing is that she will wake up and want to nurse, even just half an hour, sometimes less, after I've put her down. Then she'll wake at 10 and at 1. Sometimes she'll sleep without wanting to feed from 1am to 9am, or sometimes from 3 or 4am until 8 or 9.
If I try to settle her without feeding at that first waking she quickly escalates to frantic cries. I end up feeding her, and she eats, a lot. Even though she's just eaten, if I don't feed on both sides as much as she wants she's back to the frantic cries. Then I put her down (awake) and she cries for a couple seconds and goes to sleep.
I'm confused about what's going on with that first waking. I'm also confused about whether I should try to do something about it or just roll with it. I think it's just comfort feeding. But maybe she needs comfort?
I do think being overtired or overstimulated may have something to do with it. One night I put her bed right on time, but company was over, one night it was a half hour past her bedtime (going by 4 hour easy, that is). One night I kept her up (again, just by 10 minutes or so) so her dad could say goodnight to her.