Author Topic: 8 MO NEVER slept through and is getting worse!!  (Read 847 times)

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Offline Scarlett891

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8 MO NEVER slept through and is getting worse!!
« on: September 05, 2017, 17:06:51 pm »
Help!

My LG is 8 months next week and has not slept through yet. I've taken to co sleeping now just to get some sleep but fear I have now made things worse.

Her usual routine is
620am Wakes
7am Bottle
7am Breakfast
9am Nap 1/1.5h in pram
11am Snack
12pm Lunch
2pm Nap in pram 1/1.5h
3pm bottle
5pm dinner
530 bath
600 Bottle
630 bed

The time between bath and bed is so quick as she's so tired by then and only takes 2/3oz.

She has never been great taking milk and since solids only takes 15ish oz a day. I offer it as frequently as I can. She has a dairy intolerance.

I tried CIO and she was sick twice and I fear that's made her worse as she won't go to people now and cries when she goes in her room. I can only get her to nap in her pram in the day.

I'm constantly reading books and blogs and just don't know where to turn. After her last bottle she will fall asleep on me and I'll put her in her cot but she wakes after an hour or so and I have no choice but to get ready for bed myself and put her in with me. It's taking over my life and myself and my partner and exhausted! I've tried pu/pd and she just gets in such a state.

Please please can you help! Xxx

Offline jessmum46

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Re: 8 MO NEVER slept through and is getting worse!!
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2017, 18:46:32 pm »
Hugs, sleep deprivation is just so hard isn't it?  Hopefully we can get you on track :) 

Just a couple of questions first - you say she doesn't sleep through but you haven't said exactly what you mean - is she for example waking once or twice a night, or is it frequent waking all night every night? 

When she wakes at night how do you settle her?

Has she ever gone to sleep on her own before?  By this I mean being put in bed fully awake and settled herself to sleep without rocking, bottle or any other help?

Is she currently symptom-free from her dairy issues?  No pain/reflux/eczema etc that could be bothering her?

Her routine looks reasonable for this age which is great - if she starts sleeping better at night it may need some adjusting but for now I would aim to stick with what she is used to in terms of nap timings.  What I think will make the difference for you (assuming no medical cause for wakings) is a clear and above all consistent plan to teach her independent sleep skills.  Given that you have previously used CIO (we don't support that here but no judgement :-* - we've all been at the end of our tether before!) and that she is currently used to sleeping very close to you, it sounds like the best approach may be gradual withdrawal?  That will also help build her confidence that you will always come back when she needs you which is a big thing for 8-9 month olds as separate anxiety peaks. 

Have a look at this link (please ignore the section on WIWO) and see what you think - https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0  If it sounds like something you could commit to then we'd be very happy to help you with a plan x
***Katherine***







Offline Scarlett891

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Re: 8 MO NEVER slept through and is getting worse!!
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2017, 21:39:30 pm »
I get her down at about 6.30pm after her bath and bottle and she's up again witgin 2 hours and I can't resettle her. Now for instance she has been up since 9pm. I've tried rocking her but have given up so she's currently playing on her bedroom floor  :o >:( This is usually the time I would take her in to our bed jut for some sleep!
Is she going to bed to early perhaps? Do I need to do things later and give another nap perhaps?

She has never settled herself. I always rock her or push her in the pram in the day

Currently symptom free. Although she does have bad wind at night. Could this be another allergy perhaps?

She defo has anxieties as has recently started crying when people other than family pick her up! Thanks! I'll check out that link! Xxx


Offline Scarlett891

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Re: 8 MO NEVER slept through and is getting worse!!
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2017, 21:45:26 pm »
Oh my god! Just read it and it's like it's taking about my child 100%! Please help me with a plan!!! Xxxx

Offline jessmum46

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Re: 8 MO NEVER slept through and is getting worse!!
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2017, 18:50:27 pm »
urrently symptom free. Although she does have bad wind at night. Could this be another allergy perhaps?
My DS struggled with this a lot with dairy/soya allergies.  However it can also just be little tummies adjusting to solid food.  Has she been on solids a while and did you notice any changes?

Is she going to bed to early perhaps? Do I need to do things later and give another nap perhaps?
I don't think so.  She's having roughly a 12h day with two naps which I would say is fine for her age.  It may be that she needs a little adjustment once she is sleeping better at night as she might not be quite so tired in the daytime, but I don't think that's the cause of all her unsettledness.

OK so a plan....are you keen to have her nap in her bed in the day or are you ok to go with pram naps?  I ask because it's possible to do nap and night sleep differently - I know several kids who only napped in the pram but would settle just fine in bed at night.  It's really up to you what you'd prefer - benefits of having her nap in bed are that you can actually properly have some 'you' time when she is asleep and she gets more chances to practice her new way of getting to sleep, but on the other hand it can be quite flexible having a LO who will nap out and about and naps are often a bit harder to crack than nights.  What's your feeling?

Essentially though you need to come up with a list of steps that gets you from where you are now (rocking to sleep and then putting down?) to where you want to be (I assume putting down fully awake and have her settle herself).  A key sleep phrase is really useful too e.g. "night night, go to sleep".  So it could go something like:

step 1 - hold, but not rock, to sleep in arms
step 2 - hold her cradled in bed - so something like lying her down with your arm kind of cradled around her body so she has the security of you there as usual but on the bed
step 3 - lay in bed and hold your hand on her until asleep
step 4 - lay in bed and hold hand on until drowsy, then stay next to bed until asleep
step 5 - hand on until calm, the remove hand but stay next to bed
step 6 - lay in bed and just sit next to bed
step 7 - sit halfway to the door
step 8 - sit in the doorway
step 9 - sit outside

Basically making small steps each time so not much changes but over a period of days/weeks you keep moving forwards until you are where you want to be.  Reassuring all the time with your voice and sleep phrase.  She doesn't have to be 100% totally comfortable at the next stage before you push things on a bit - obviously take it at what feels like the right pace but don't get stuck just because you see signs of protest.  Keep it calm and consistent and hopefully you will see some progress quite quickly x
***Katherine***







Offline Scarlett891

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Re: 8 MO NEVER slept through and is getting worse!!
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2017, 19:06:31 pm »
Thanks for this! It sounds great.

She has been on solids for over a month now. Another problem I have is that she hardly takes milk now. Her formula isn't that nice due to her intolerance so I can't blame her.

Am I ok to carry on feeding her at night once this starts? I tend to give her milk when she stirs just to up her intake.

How long do I leave it between steps? I'm fine with her sleeping in the pram. I'd rather tackle one thing at a time.

Once this is cracked, will this stop the waking at night? Xxx

Offline jessmum46

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Re: 8 MO NEVER slept through and is getting worse!!
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2017, 19:10:07 pm »
Really sorry I missed your last reply - how are you getting along?
***Katherine***







Offline Scarlett891

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Re: 8 MO NEVER slept through and is getting worse!!
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2017, 09:08:53 am »
Things have really improved in the night and she is going down fine....BUT....wakes around 5 every morning and is really fighting her naps. I could only ever get her to nap in her pram and now she won't let me put her in it. Any suggestions? She is going about 4 hours between naps xx

Offline jessmum46

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Re: 8 MO NEVER slept through and is getting worse!!
« Reply #8 on: October 05, 2017, 07:24:01 am »
Well done on the nights, that's great!

Could you post her whole daytime routine now?  I wonder if she could perhaps be a touch OT? 
***Katherine***