Many short naps - how to arrange EASY around that?

[mulvia]

Hello, DS2 is almost 3mo, is a good sleeper and needs little assistance which is usually provided with swaddle and paci, or shh/pat. He can stay up for 1 to 1,5 hrs and sometimes more, getting longer and longer as the day goes on. Some days his naps are only about 20 mins though - it doesn't seem to affect him too much, wakes up happy and can stay awake. Some other times (especially when we are out and therefore in car seat or stroller) he seems to 'make up for it' and sleep forever, then feed and sleep again. He usually does 2,5/3hrs between feeds. I'm just wondering, when the naps are short and he wakes up 'well', do I just feed him early and shorten the EASY routine so that the A time is not too long?

[creations]

20 min naps are often a sign of OT and are not considered restorative sleep so you might want to think about a more consistent routine either now or in a few weeks if you feel okay with it at the moment.

I would keep the feeds at roughly 3hrly intervals.  This can mean that there is some A between S and E, like this EASAEAS.  There might even be 2 naps between E if he is napping so short.  The idea of the EASY routine is not to always feed on waking but rather to have some A between E and S to avoid a feed to sleep prop.

I hope this helps

[mulvia]

Always helpful, thanks!
In your opinion could a short /lacking winddown be partly responsible? When DS1 is at day care/sleeping/out with DH I try to dedicate more time to shh/pat, but often DS2 just gets left to it with a paci and soft toy. I think when he'll find his thumb he will go for that, as he seems very keen.
2 naps between feeds worked yesterday, resettling usually doesn't, so we'll keep experimenting with that!

[creations]

Wind down can have a big effect on LOs yes. For some they need a thorough wind down before they can relax and sleep, for others though any kind of wind down drives them crazy and they just see it as a waste of time.  Mine would be super annoyed if I tried a long WD, he wanted his time playing not being shushed, so for him it was nappy change, one song, put down, leave.  That was his ideal. If the song went on too long he'd even put his hand on my mouth to shut me up and indicate he wanted to move on with the routine and just get into his bed thank you!
In some ways 3 months old is still early days and it could take longer to work out exactly what is the most suitable for your LO.

[mulvia]

Ahah I know what you mean - DS1 does try to drag the wind down most of the time, but others he tells us to "go do pee", which means he's ready for us to leave. Funny creatures! Thanks again!

[creations]

but others he tells us to "go do pee", which means he's ready for us to leave.

That's hilarious! I love it!

[mulvia]

One more question...or three : what sort of A time would you suggest between the 2 naps if the 'original' nap is over in 20 min? At the moment DS seems to hold up for about 1hr20 (however this morning it was around 1h10 and still woke up after 20min) 
And...if 20min is not restorative sleep, would 2x20 still not be enough? Lastly, if he does sleep the second time and goes over 'scheduled' feed, I assume I let him sleep until he wakes instead of waking him at the normal time?

[deb]

If it's not too long after the scheduled feed, let him sleep for sure! If it starts getting really long, that's another story, but generally speaking, they wake when they're properly hungry.

At 3 months I'd shoot for 60-90 minutes awake, 90-120 minutes asleep. A 90-minute A time and a 90-minute nap work out to 3 hours...and then in another month you can stretch the A time so you end up with a 4-hour EASY, give or take. (We found around 3.5 months that 3.5-hour EASY worked pretty well for us.)

The reason that 20 minutes isn't considered restorative sleep is that it doesn't allow time to get into deep sleep, so 2x20 still wouldn't allow for that. It's better than NO sleep, but still not "the good stuff."

[mulvia]

That's what we're aiming for, but if that A time only results in 20 min nap, then it seems to be too much? And sorry my other question wasn't clear: if he stays awake 90 min but then only naps for 20, and I try to get him to sleep again later (so not resettling, but get him up, a bit of A time and nap again before next feed) how long would you keep him up?

[mulvia]

..and what would you consider reeeeally long re:napping over feed time? An hour late or less/more..? (Can you guess I'm asking because that's exactly what's happening right now?) 😅

[deb]

If you're somehow able to help him wind down longer to get a longer nap - any chance of a sling so you could wear him if you have to tend to your other child? - that seemed to help. If it were me, if I could hear him stirring at 20 I'd be trying to resettle before he woke fully, if possible. Otherwise, I'd keep him up maybe an hour tops, less if you can (just long enough to feed if it's close to that time) and see if he'd go back down again - which I know is hard to do with another child (been there, done that).

If you've done the 3-month growth spurt, this should settle out soon; if not, it'll all be upended when it happens. As another mom told me once long ago, the only thing tht's REALLY predictable about babies is their unpredictability.

And yeah, I'd probably be trying to wake if it's an hour over, as long as he's already had at least one complete 45-minute sleep cycle, preferably two.

[mulvia]

Thank you so much! Yes, we're working on our sling time!