Author Topic: Help implementing EASY with 2 under 2  (Read 561 times)

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Offline Imccoy2194

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Help implementing EASY with 2 under 2
« on: October 20, 2017, 01:38:31 am »
Hi! I have an 8 week old, he is my second child. I also have a 15 month old. I've done babywise with both of them but am looking for something a little less rigid and more fluid for our now busier lifestyle with two under two. We have a solidly established 3-3.5 hour feeding cycle that he does very well with. He is generally awake 45 minutes or less before he gets fussy. The fussing escalates quickly and he is always asleep before 60 minutes of wake time. Then he naps for 2-2.5 hours. At night he either sleeps 7:30/8-12 ish and then till 3:30/4 and then till 7:00. It is challenging to get him to sleep at night because he is wide awake and just doesn't want to shut down, so he tends to cluster feed and then finally sleep after an hour ish. Anyways, he's a pretty content little guy except that when he's tired or mad, he goes 0-100 so fast. I'm not comfortable letting him get that worked up and I just didn't know how to do any sort of more gentle sleep coaching to get him to sleep, so I have resorted to him primarily napping in the moby wrap. It has helped us get a consistent schedule, and it allows me to spend time with my toddler and get outside with him. BUT I know I need to start working towards independent sleep. I just don't know how to have the time to  work on that with him with my toddler!! Any advice would be appreciated. Also, I've seen general EASY sample schedules for this age showing 1.5 hours of wake time from waking to eat to back asleep for a nap. Other sources I've seen would consider that way too long. Obviously I would love to have a schedule like that, but he gets so fussy 35-45 minutes in and I don't know how to stretch it! Any and all insight would be much appreciated :) also, I should note that he was born at 37 weeks and spent a week in the NICU. The NICU doctors assessed him to be more like 34/35 weeks, but we have gotten conflicting opinions on that since then! He definitely acts in accordance with his prematurity in that he just this past week or two seems to be waking up to the world.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2017, 01:41:27 am by Imccoy2194 »

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Re: Help implementing EASY with 2 under 2
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2017, 09:04:36 am »
Hello and welcome to BW forums :)

Sounds like you are doing brilliantly with your second LO in getting to know him so well so quickly and working out his eat and sleep needs, plus caring for two LOs so young. amazing :)

A few things I can come back on with regards to your information and routine etc.
First, I am not all that familiar with baby wise however I believe it follows a similar pattern of eat, activity, sleep.
I must make it clear from the off though that Tracy Hogg, the Baby Whisperer methods and and members of this community do not support any form of controlled crying at all.  My understanding of baby wise is that some form of CC is used for sleep training which is in opposition with the Baby Whisperer ethos and will not be supported on this forum.
It looks anyway like you have chosen a gentler, respectful approach with your LO2 and we can certainly support you with that.  I would suggest you get yourself a copy of the Baby Whisperer book and familiarise yourself with the sleep training approach, or there are lots of FAQs on this forum that you can read through (if you have time!).

Activity time.
I've seen general EASY sample schedules for this age showing 1.5 hours of wake time
I'm not sure which board or thread you saw this on.  For an 8 wk old baby the guidance time is not as long as 1hr 30, it is 1hr 15 to 1hr 20.  Here are the guidance times by age:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=84884.0
However, we do emphasise that these are for guidance only and not every baby is expected to fit in these times rigidly. Every EASY routine is different based on the individual needs of your LO.  Yes we might start with those guidance times when setting up a routine for a LO who has previously had no routine, but we would then adapt the routine when we see how LO responds.
In your case, you have already implemented a routine and worked out a suitable A time for your LO because you know he does well on shorter that guidance A times, roughly 60 mins (max) and then naps well.
Also your LO arrived a little early so this would always be taken into consideration when looking at routine and development etc.  You do not need to be concerned for routine purposes about whether LO was 34 or 37 wks but rather just keep in mind during this first year that your LO's routine might be that of a slightly younger baby.  Just now then your LO is having A times which are following the guidance time of his adjusted age, newborn to 4wks old, 50 - 60 min guidance A time which kind of fits with that assessment of 34/35 wks and with your own observations of him starting to wake up to the world.

As he is still so tiny and as you have a toddler to care for too, I would probably suggest that you continue with your moby wrap naps for now as they seem to be going well for you and allowing LO2 to sleep well whilst also fitting in with the family needs.  Independent sleeping is something you can tackle when you feel ready to and perhaps when he is a little older - it is not something you have to do right now.  It is helpful to sleep train because ultimately your LO is going to grow big and heavy and it will be very hard work to keep sling naps going every single day for every nap.  You will likely feel more ready to do a little sleep training when his A times are longer too - just now the short A time doesn't give you a chance to get out or get back home in time for a nap but in time the A with extend and then you may see a suitable spot in your routine where sleep training can begin.  For instance if your toddler takes an afternoon nap which is reliable you might use that time to focus on LO2 to begin cot naps and gentle sleep training at that time of day, whilst keeping the other naps in sling or stroller.  It's also possible to do some sleep training in the stroller (either at home or out and about) which would give you a bit more flexibility whilst he is so young - yes it's not exactly independent sleep but it might be more practical for you.

I hope this helps.  Please do feel welcome to look around at the FAQS and to ask any questions you have either here or on other boards.