Hi, welcome to BW
As I'm sure you're aware, there a likely a few things contributing to your LO's poor sleep:
1. reflux - lying down HURTS! that makes sleeping tricky.
2. CC - having tried this may have damaged his bond of trust with you, so he may not feel safe going to sleep, may feel scared in his bed, etc. Its important to help him see its a safe place by spending some happy awake time with him in his bed creating some pleasant associations.
3. Routine not quite right for him.
I think to be really honest, its going to be hard to get him sleeping independently lying flat in a cot without getting his reflux properly under control. Sometimes, eczema and other itchy skin conditions go along with this - anything like that happening for him? Any other medical issues we need to take into account? Is he gaining weight, growing and meeting milestones ok? This FAQ has some tips for helping a LO who is suffering with reflux:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=654.0I don't quite understand what you've written about what you're trying for naps. What I'd suggest is that you're heading for one nap in the next 2-12 months, so you probably want to *aim* for at least one long nap in a given day.
Its hard to know how to change a non-existent routine, so I'd start something like this and stick to it for a week, then we can try to tweak things if we have enough information:
7 - wake
11 - nap (ideally this one is long - ie. 1.5hr though I know that sounds like a pipe dream at the moment)
3:30/4pm - nap (generally this one would be shorter)
7:30 - bedtime
One of the hardest traps to avoid here is to keep trying to get him to sleep so he won't be OT. He already is really chronically OT by the sounds of it. If you can keep his routine reasonably consistent, he has a better chance to self-regulate and take the sleep he needs. If things are changing all the time, he can't do that.
Is there any way that he will sleep reliably? It doesn't sound like it, but if there is, please use that (never mind if its a prop) until his reflux is controlled enough for him to sleep comfortably. If that means BF to sleep, do that. The most important thing now is to get sleep into him in a suitable pattern so he can get used to sleeping at regular times for a decent amount of time and that will eventually recover him from the OT.
In terms of how to calm him to sleep, I'd go with shush/pat or find a variation he will tolerate. This might be stroking his face and singing or holding a hand on his chest and saying your sleepy phrase over and over or playing white noise.
Start using a wind down routine - can be really short if he's not a fan but just go through the same process before sleep each time so he's learning that sleep time is coming.
What are you doing through the night? How does he sleep at night at the moment?