Author Topic: Am I helping my 9 month old too much?  (Read 1108 times)

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Offline CbabyJ

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Re: Am I helping my 9 month old too much?
« Reply #30 on: December 03, 2017, 12:44:15 pm »
So Iím still having early wakes normally 530- 545 and I leave him till at least 6.  Iím wondering whether heís having too much day sleep or if heís waking due to hunger.
I donít want to try to feed him and get him back down as I donít want to reinforce the EW.
Today he woke at 530- yesterday  he had a morning nap of 1hr25 and afternoon nap of 1hr 15 which was very unusual as he normally only naps 30mins.  I put him down at 715 and he fell a straight asleep.

Normally his naps are 1hr 45-2hr in the morning and an afternoon catnap.

I donít want to cap his morning nap ideally as itís the good nap.  And given he wakes up well before 6 normally I can only really get to 930 before heís super tired for his morning nap.

« Last Edit: December 03, 2017, 13:07:04 pm by CbabyJ »

Offline becj86

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Re: Am I helping my 9 month old too much?
« Reply #31 on: December 03, 2017, 21:00:29 pm »
I'm going to suggest you pick a suitable WU time that fits with ~11hr night and a BT you're happy with (some compromise may be required). Once you do that, you pull WU later by saying that first nap will be after 3:45hr or 9:45, whichever is later. 3-4 day to a week later, you would shift that to being 3:45 from WU or 10am whichever is later until WU is at a reasonable time.

I agree that its not a good idea to cap the first nap at the moment.

If he's super tired for his morning nap and sleeping 1:25 (a slightly UT nap), it may be worth considering a change of activity rather than nap as he may just be a bit bored or going to sleep after 3:30 from habit.

Offline CbabyJ

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Re: Am I helping my 9 month old too much?
« Reply #32 on: December 03, 2017, 23:56:37 pm »
So if my desired WU is 630 I would put him down at 1000 even if he woke and was out of the crib at 6? Iím just not sure how forcing the nap to be later would help the WU as wouldnít he just be overtired the whole day and wake up even earlier ?  But of course you have more experience so Iím open to suggestions!

Iíve been thinking that I should also try delay his morning BF to match my desired WU.  At the moment I feed straight away mainly to keep him quiet to make sure my older boy doesnít wake.  What do you think ?


Offline becj86

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Re: Am I helping my 9 month old too much?
« Reply #33 on: December 05, 2017, 01:45:29 am »
LO's wake earlier than they previously did when A time is too short - to make it longer. If you make the nap earlier as a result of the earlier waking, they will wake earlier again. If you keep the nap where it should be / make it later, they will sleep later. Its the most effective way to shift the day later. Its what we recommend with clock changes / small time zone changes too.

Iíve been thinking that I should also try delay his morning BF to match my desired WU.  At the moment I feed straight away mainly to keep him quiet to make sure my older boy doesnít wake.  What do you think ?
I'd be doing what works best for the whole family. I'm not sure that delaying a feed is going to make him sleep any later.

Offline CbabyJ

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Re: Am I helping my 9 month old too much?
« Reply #34 on: December 21, 2017, 11:57:46 am »
An update -  I am still having early mornings.  And he is pretty miserable for the first hour or two which is tough.
He wakes normally 530-6 but sometimes wakes 515 with a cry and falls back asleep for a bit.  I try to wait until 630 to get him but most of the time it is more like 6-615.

He can normally go till about 1020 until a nap and sleeps 1.5hrs.  He then naps at 330ish for 30 mins.
With a bedtime of 715 or so - he falls asleep quick I think due to the short PM nap.

I donít think heís getting enough sleep through the day/night.  Heís been fussy for over a week now and thereís nothing to blame other than tiredness I think.  Although itís not like heís rubbing his eyes or anything.

Should I try pushing that first nap later for a longer nap or capping it?  Iím scared to cap it as itís his good nap.  And pushing it later will most likely mean no second nap as he will fight it.  And I canít often AP it.

Iím sad heís so sad in the mornings.  My first wa so happy first thing it makes me feel like something is definitely wrong with his schedule.


Offline becj86

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Re: Am I helping my 9 month old too much?
« Reply #35 on: December 21, 2017, 18:54:36 pm »
Should I try pushing that first nap later for a longer nap or capping it?  Iím scared to cap it as itís his good nap.  And pushing it later will most likely mean no second nap as he will fight it.  And I canít often AP it.
No, don't cap the long nap, you want to preserve that fpr when you get to one nap. What are you looking to achieve?

Is he cutting teeth? That can be unpleasant.

Is he waking ready to do things and having to stay quiet for everyone else's benefit? Is he hungry that first hour? Just throwing out ideas as to why he might be less happy...

Offline CbabyJ

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Re: Am I helping my 9 month old too much?
« Reply #36 on: December 21, 2017, 19:22:16 pm »
I do still want a later start to the day given he fact he isnít getting enough sleep in my opinion. 
He isnít cutting teeth right now.  The fussiness started a week ago after a cold and hasnít really stopped.  I went to the doc to check for ear infection but there was no sign. 
He doesnít have to stay quiet in the morning and he definitely isnít quiet.  I try to play with him.  He is hungry for sure.  I breastfeed him and 30 mins to 45mins later he has breakfast.  But that doesnít improve his mood much.

I just donít know why heís gone from being happy most of the time to whiny most of the time.  Even when in his high chair eating his favourite foods!

Offline becj86

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Re: Am I helping my 9 month old too much?
« Reply #37 on: December 21, 2017, 20:35:45 pm »
Is this just in the last week following the cold? I presume doc checked throat, etc. as well. It can take a while to recover or he may be brewing another illness. Is he off his food at all?

How old is he now? Just trying to get a picture of what sleep would be average as the night is slightly short at ~10-10.5hr but the day looks ok. Has his sleep decreased markedly in the last week or two?

It may be developmental or situational too - things may be a bit more hectic/fraught with Christmas coming up.

Here is a link to some info re: EW which might give you some more ideas... https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=253524.0

Offline CbabyJ

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Re: Am I helping my 9 month old too much?
« Reply #38 on: December 21, 2017, 20:56:55 pm »
The doctor did check everything.  Heís not off food at all heís eating more than he has been.  Making up for the lost lunch breastfeed I presume. 
He will be 11 months tomorrow.
He does act frustrated like he wants to do more - talking/ walk etc.  I was thinking thatís tiredness. 

I need to cut the post afternoon nap breastfeed this week to get him ready for Daycare and Iím scared to do it given the way heís been acting... plus the fact he does seem so hungry.   Iíd say it was a growth spurt but itís been a week now.

Offline becj86

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Re: Am I helping my 9 month old too much?
« Reply #39 on: December 22, 2017, 04:09:02 am »
Iíd say it was a growth spurt but itís been a week now.
They can certainly go for that long.

I need to cut the post afternoon nap breastfeed this week to get him ready for Daycare and Iím scared to do it given the way heís been acting.
I'd probably just keep it (if you are willing to keep it for home/weekends) and pack a snack and drink for daycare. He will know they are two different places and form different habits at daycare than home.
 
He does act frustrated like he wants to do more - talking/ walk etc.  I was thinking thatís tiredness.
Lots of babies become frustrated and whiny when they are working on new skills.

I honestly don't think his sleep amount is drastically low for his age. If it hasn't changed in that week that he's been fussy and he's been working on skills and more hungry, I think you've a combination of other factors rather than sleep being the issue. I know you're working a lot less on sleep in the last couple of weeks/month or so than you have been previously but I think that we've just adjusted things to be more age-approriate and it can feel like a lot less but its actually not given he's now having a more solid night sleep and he's getting a long nap in the day.