Hand holding and advice pls

[eva026]

Actually 4nf, last day feed 7pm then 10, 1, 4, 7 up for the day 7.40 I’ve been trying to feed her less st 4am
Also, would you wake her if her long nap goes over 2h? If not how long do I let her sleep without it impacting nights?

[becj86]

Actually 4nf, last day feed 7pm then 10, 1, 4, 7 up for the day 7.40 I’ve been trying to feed her less st 4am

I'd probably not try to reduce the 4am feed at this point... Also, I'd probably just get her up for the day at 7am if BT is ~7pm... That's me though, your choice!

Yes, I'd wake if nap goes >2hr - I'd wake when she stirs or at 2:15 whichever is sooner. That way you're waking her at the transition between sleep cycles and that's probably the least unpleasant way to be woken.

WRT to being on the edge of OT... that's only going to be the case for a short while. I'd probably leave it given you're getting decent naps and she'll grow into it in a few days anyway. She may be a touch OT or OS before bed if she's waking in that first 3hr after BT - you could reduce that A time a touch and see if it helps.

[eva026]

Ok thanks!
BT is 7.30-8pm depending on what time she wakes. Can’t do 7pm as that’s when DH finally gets home, he’d never see her, only sees her 30min a day as it is.

[becj86]

Can’t do 7pm as that’s when DH finally gets home, he’d never see her, only sees her 30min a day as it is.

This is a sure recipe for OS. We always had disastrous BTs when DH came home too close to BT and it wasn't his fault, he wasn't even winding DS up, DS was just so excited to see his daddy. Hugs xx Is is seriously exhausting when you just want a rest but LO won't go to sleep and stay asleep in the evening.

[eva026]

To update, I’m sticking to the 2x cn and 1x long nap on an A time of 2.20. Holding for the long nap, trying some ST for one short one and BT. BT no rocking at all, just put her down half laying on my arm and stroke her. No rocking for naps either, can sometimes get her to sleep half on my arm but I still sometimes rock through the transition in the long nap.she is giving me one 4h stretch at night so that is lovely. Our problem now is nw every 30min from BT- 10pm. Can’t be OT because it happens when our day was textbook. So don’t know... she’s also super restless from 4am on and I have to stroke her on and off till it’s time to get up.  Push the A time soon?
Also, how long should I stay once she’s asleep? 20min ?

[eva026]

Ok so for eg today
WU 7.20am
S 9.37Am
WU 10.20am
S 12.40 - probably totally os because we were in a shopping center. This nap was in the sling
WU 13.10
S 15.05 at home
WU 17.00
BT 7.20 on the dot asleep
And now 30min later she’s up and I’ve left DD1 in the bath alone singing so I know she’s ok and hasn’t drowned while I go try get the baby back asleep.
What gives because I just don’t see where I’m going wrong.

[becj86]

Our problem now is nw every 30min from BT- 10pm.

This can also be OS, unfortunately. Sometimes can be solids travelling through gut though that tends to start pretty close to starting solids at a new time of day. Its really hard to avoid OS with a 5yo around and dad coming home (should that happen ). Have you tried a massage in her WD before bed? Carrier/sling and cuddles during that last A time? Is there anything in the BT routine that she perks up with? May be something to shift to another part of the day... DS found books OS so we read outside of BT routine instead.

If she's asleep, you should surely be able to leave now? Are you doing anything when you're staying with her? If so, gradually reduce that and get out of there! An extra 15-20mins not beside the baby may make your life a bit easier.

Might be a good time to think about pushing the first A time a tad to see if that helps with the restlessness in the early AM.

You're doing really well. You've made some great progress and that routine looks pretty good. Love the idea of getting DD1 to sing so you know she's ok. It probably feels awful asking her to do that though. Hugs xx

[eva026]

Ok out of there as soon as she’s asleep, was wondering if there is a 20min jolt I should be looking out for or sth. When I go in I just replug, stroke her head and hold her hand. Unless she’s totally screaming, then I pick her up and cuddle.

So sth is up again
Yesterday:
WU 7.30
S9.45 DH put her to sleep
WU10.15 - this I don’t get, 30min???
S12.05
14.45wu
S16.45 had to pick DD1 up so a long A
WU 17.30
BT 19.30, asleep 19.40ish - woke 2 more times after

Now she’s had an ew that I couldn’t resettle
So what would you increase A to? 2.30 for a long nap and 2.10 on a short or only increase the morning A?

Our BT routine is bath every other day, I say goodbye to all, take her into her semi dark room. Sing a bit while I change her nappy and clothes. Feed, pick her up and cuddle a bit and then lay next to her stroking and holding her hand till she’s asleep. If the problem is os the I guess I just have to suck it up. Can’t have DD1 sitting in a corner quietly during the last A.

[becj86]

WU 7.30S9.45 DH put her to sleepWU10.15 - this I don’t get, 30min???

Is DH A time different than with you? Not such good night sleep? Did you try to resettle?

2.30 for a long nap and 2.10 on a short or only increase the morning A?

Its probably reasonable to just do the morning A to start with. I suspect the rest will follow soon.

[eva026]

I think he just hangs out with her in bed passing toys over. I gave her to him 30min before time to sleep. Asked him to start putting her down at A2.15 because he doesn’t put her to sleep on him but just laying next to her, so there is a fair bit of crying. He doesn’t resettle. To be happy honest it could just as well have been a 40min nap because he’s not great with the clock. He said it was 30min but I’m not totally convinced.

Did first A 2.25 (tried for 2.30 but she was out in a flash!) slept 1.50
Next A she barely made it to 2h. Was fussing, rubbing her eyes and here eyes were closing while sitting on my lap. Couldn’t even get her to her usual A of 2.20
It’s been 1.30h of S and counting.

[becj86]

You're obviously doing well with her cues. She may not need the same A time through the whole day or she may just need more sleep today for some reason. Great nap though, on you or in crib?

[eva026]

Hey There, I thought I’d check in with our progress and a quick question.
I 2 days ago I pushed her A from 2.30 to 2.45 because she was starting to be waaaay to happy at night. We are on one long nap of about 1.5-2h and two short ones of 30-40min. The short naps are on her own - she’s still not extending so the long one is still in my arms.
She’s better after BT, no WU every 30min and I can lay next to her stroking, no more rocking or holding for BT.
She’s still feeding every 3h at night - is this normal? We just started solids - just a teaspoon or two a day so that isn’t making a difference yet. Do you think it will as she statrts eating more?
Usually BT is 7.30-8pm, then she’s hungry 10.30-11, 2, 5. During the day she lasts 3.5h without feeds but nights it’s 3... I tried to just give her a dummy for one feed but she’s fall asleep then wake every 5min crying so she does look to be hungry. Goes right back to sleep for 3h after I’ve fed. I’d have thought that by now she’d be able to go at least one stretch of 4h at night? I mean she’s 6months old in a week.

[becj86]

Its still normal, yes but you would be reasonable to expect one stretch of more than 3hr in there somewhere by now. Sometimes solids will mean LO sleeps a longer stretch, sometimes it means more NFs but I don't think it will mean more NFs for you.

What's your EAS? Wonder if you could get more milk into the day so she's not as hungry at night?

[eva026]

I feed her when she wakes in the morning, if she’s not interested I try 1 h later. Then I try feed after every wake up to keep the routine with a top up before the long nap. Usually at BT she doesn’t have much because the last feed would have been 2h earlier. So the BT feed is small.
7.30wu
8.30e
10.45s
11.15wu e
13.30s e top up
15.00 wu E
17.30 s
18.00 wu E
20.00 bt E

[eva026]

I’ve just realized she does do a 4h stretch but it’s from 5am to about 9am.
We had an amazing weekend, DD1 was visiting with grandma so we put DD2 into her bedroom. BT was 8pm and she had 2 NF or Friday at 1am and 5am, up for the day 7.45. Saturday BT 8pm, NF 2am and 5am up 7.40am. I have no idea what I did differently on those days. She woke on Saturday morning with a tooth.
She hadn’t slept this well since she hit 3.5months and her sleep problems started.
Sunday we picked up DD1 in the evening and DD2 was back in our room.
I put her down at 8 again but slept on the sofa in the living room in case it’s me waking her up when I come in. No luck, up at 10pm, then I don’t even know how many times on the night, long nw 4.40-6am, up for the day at 7. Another tooth pushed through.
And she’s now stopped taking the bottle so not only am I tired and frustrated but trapped as well because no one can babysit for me if they can’t feed her. Grrr