Author Topic: Hand holding and advice pls  (Read 2258 times)

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Online becj86

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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #60 on: January 08, 2018, 09:19:24 am »
Now you can she can do it, just have to work out how!

Is there some other way you could have her not in your room but with DD1 still at home to see if its the different room (is it on a different side of the house - temperature, noise?) or maybe its OS with DD1... did she nap better those days? or have longer A times?

Will she take the bottle from someone other than you? Lots of babies won't take it from mum when milk is on tap but will take it when mum's not there and someone else is offering. Its awful feeling so trapped :(

Online eva026

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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #61 on: January 09, 2018, 10:31:47 am »
Iíve been wracking my brain... we have two bedrooms right next to each other, same size, facing the same way, windows both cracked open so the temperature is the same. DD1 has black out blinds but itís winter so dark by 5 and sunup at 7.30, the blinds donít make a difference now. There is unfortunately no other place we can put her as the living room and kitchen are open plan. 
Dd2s naps were pretty much the same during the weekend, we went shopping so she had one nap at home - the long one and two out and about - typical weekend.
I gave her avocado before bed but I have been doing that since and no go.

Itís like sheís been in a giant gs since 3.5 months!

Iíve tried putting her down and sleeping on the sofa to not wake her when I come to bed, yesterday I went to bed at 7pm and stayed with her but that made not difference. Will try put DD1 to bed with DH and DD2 in her room as an experiment next.

Er... should I start a new thread on nw? This one is getting embarrassingly long!





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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #62 on: January 11, 2018, 01:56:05 am »
You can if you want to. I'm happy to keep supporting you but if you would like some other eyes on the issue, a new thread may achieve that.

Online eva026

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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #63 on: January 11, 2018, 14:39:29 pm »
I think you are supporting me and this confusing baby really well. Thank you for that!
We tried putting her in her sisters room and she slept better last night. BT 8pm,NF 12,3,6 up 7.30. So a 4h stretch. Will try again tonight. Then maybe switch around a few times to see if it actually makes a difference. If it does then I donít know what. Put her in there with DD1? Not sure how that would work exactly.
Aaaahhh all Iím asking for is 2nf instead of 3. I feel like a new person if I can get 2x 4h stretches of sleep in. I actually wake without a headache and constantly snap at DD1.

Re the bottle. She was taking a bottle, then I got sick with tonsillitis for 2 weeks and then we went away for Christmas so she didnít get the bottle for 3 weeks. Now she has forgotten how to use it! Chews on it instead of sucking. Iíve been giving her diluted apple juice to keep her regular and to avoid giving her bm that I waste time on pumping. She just chews out a few drops. Grrr my fault, totally dropped the balll on that.  Will give it another week and try another type of bottle.





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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #64 on: January 12, 2018, 22:18:52 pm »
How have you gone with a night or two in DD1's room? Its so odd she'll sleep better in there when the rooms are so similar.

I have no idea about putting a baby in with an older child, only have one child myself... I know my mum had my brothers all in one room - 4, 2 and newborn (with health issues and did wake a lot at night) and that worked alright I think but I was only 6 then, so possibly not the greatest memory for mum-level problems.

Hugs, you must be so tired. Would DH do a bottle feed in the night so you could get a better stretch of sleep?

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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #65 on: January 13, 2018, 09:17:06 am »
DH would be happy to do a bottle... if sheís take a bottle thatís is grrr. He did the first night shift with DD1 and did her first NF at 12-1am and I did the second when she woke at 5ish. Iím trying not to compare them because it just drives me mad!

We have done 3 nights in DD1s room. 2 nights pretty good, first stretch of 4h then 2 more NF every 3h. No help to me as I go to bed when sheís 3h into her first stretch but moving in the right direction at least.
Night 3 in her sisters room has been pants, up 2h after BT and very restless all night, 3or4 NF - not sure as I was half asleep, just shhhing, stroking and feeding on autopilot. Think that was tummy issues though, huge poop in the morning or she napped too much. I have been doing 1 long and 2 short naps but did 2 long yeasterday instead so ended up with 3.5 daytime sleep instead of 2.30-45min.
Will swap her back to our room for 3 days and see how things go.
I feel a bit ridiculous doing this lol.
Wil





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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #66 on: January 13, 2018, 10:47:31 am »
It is a tad unusual but I guess when we're grasping at straws, we do some odd things.

What's her EAS at the moment? Wondering if you could pack some more feeding into the day to see if that helps. Also thinking... does she take a dummy? If so, would you try to resettle her with a dummy when she first wakes to see if she's really hungry? Its almost sounding habitual now being every 3hr. Would you be game to try wake to sleep when you go to bed? Or a dreamfeed when you go to bed to see if you can shift the stretch to when you're asleep?

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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #67 on: January 13, 2018, 19:19:41 pm »
Ok so today:
WU 7.35am E
9.00 breakfast half an egg yolk and a teaspoon of avocado - she swallowed 50 percent of that
E 9.30
S9.50 in my arms
WU 11.30 E
E 14.00
S 14.15 on her own
WU 15.00 E then we went out
S 17.30 in pram
WU 18.00
E 18.30
19.00 dinner - 2 teaspoonfuls of porridge with bm
19.30 bath
19.50 E (didnít take much ofc)
20.00 S

Going through 3-2 so the two CN donít have perfect A Times.
I try feed on WU and then top up before nap as we are on 2.45A and maybe sheíll sleep longer than a CN st some point - could happen, right 😜

Her nw are random, not at set times as BT is between 7.30-8pm depends on naps. Sometimes sheíll wake 2h after BT, other times 4h after.
Last night BT was 8.00pm, she woke at 9.30pm - I tried to feed her figuring she maybe didnít have enough at BT but she didnít take much. Then dummy and stroking for 40min while she drifted in and out of sleep, I finally gave up and just held her hand and tried to sleep myself .later I think she woke between 12-1am hunger and fed properly, then around 3.30 hungry again. At 6 she woke, tried dummy for 15-20min finally fed. She slept very restlessly till 7.35, had to keep stroking her on and off.

Sheís back in our room tonight. Iíve tried A DF but that just shifts her next feed 3h later after that. If DH could do a df then Iíd actually get a 4h chunk of sleep but still no go with the bottle. In offering her diluted apple juice at every meal but she just chews on the nipple and doesnít suck.

Fingers x tonight is ok in our room.




« Last Edit: January 13, 2018, 19:44:39 pm by eva026 »





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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #68 on: January 13, 2018, 19:31:50 pm »
And itís 20.30 and sheís up, doesnít bode well for the rest of the night 😖





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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #69 on: January 13, 2018, 22:29:39 pm »
In offering her diluted apple juice at every meal but she just chews on the nipple and doesnít suck.
And she won't take a bottle from him either? Even if you're not there?

I think she may be OT at BT with those CNs. At 6 months old, even 3-2 gets down to ~3hr day sleep, so its reasonable to keep her with 3 naps if you're happy with the 2 CNs and a long nap. Are you going for 2 long naps?

I wonder if she's snacking and not taking in enough calories through the day - could you bring the topup BF closer to the main BF by offering straight after her solids, as her drink with that meal?

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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #70 on: January 14, 2018, 08:09:56 am »
Nope, wonít take a bottle from DH either. We keep trying though. Will maybe go get a faster flow one this week.

I canít do 2 long naps as I pick DD2 up from nursery right when sheís be in the middle of long nap 2. Also I can sleep train one nap a day (the morning one in the week), hold her for the second nap so sheís not too OT and gets one long nap in, and last nap in pram on the way to get her sister. During weekends I shift this a bit and the first nap is long so we have the rest of the day free.

Will totally try a top up after solids today instead of bf before nap.

Last night ended up pretty good. Stayed up late with DH ( he was complaining he never has time with me because Iím alwYs going to be early) so went into the room 11.30, did a df and that gave me 4h if sleep till next feed at 3.30am, next one at 6.30am, up for the day 8.10am. And it was in our room.





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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #71 on: January 14, 2018, 20:47:24 pm »
Glad you got a reasonable night. Hoping that a bit longer between topup and next milk feed might lead to her taking more and not needing as much through the night - could that a few days to start to see results. Fingers crossed for you.

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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #72 on: January 19, 2018, 14:20:57 pm »
Ok so all experimenting done. I canít top up after solids as she bites then! We have also moved to a 3hA. Moving her back and forth to her sisters room and it doesnít really make a difference after all.
Still sucky nights mixed in with a good one from time to time. General rule is 3nf every 3h, not habitual because she doesnít have a set bed time but I adjust it depending on wake up time. She does extend her nap not in my arms from time to time but I still have to be next to her to httj and shhhhh. Would you mind taking a look at our easy, not sure how to fit it in around kindergarten pick up. Ooohhh and sheís taking the bottle woohoo (with rooibos tea not milk but itís progress) and I no longer rock.
Normal day:
WU 7.30 E
8.30 solids
E 10.20
S10.30
WU 12.00 e (when sleepy top up)
1.00 solids
E 2.50
S 3.00
WU 4.30 e (sleepy to up)
6.30 solids
E 7.20
Bed 7.30
Then Df 10.00pm, NF usually when she wakes at 1ish and 4ish Iíve tried extending with a dummy but no go.

What do I do on days I do preschool drop off in the morning so the day starts with a CN? Option 3 what do I do when I have to do preschool pick up and leave at 4-4.30? In the middle of what would be long nap number 2?





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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #73 on: January 20, 2018, 23:31:52 pm »
You definitely feed her often enough! Have you tried reducing the amount of time you feed for one of those NFs to see if she will drop it?

That EAS looks pretty good.

Other days... hmmm. When is the morning CN on drop-off days?

Option 3 what do I do when I have to do preschool pick up and leave at 4-4.30? In the middle of what would be long nap number 2?
See if she'll transfer to the car? Or just be ready to leave, get her up at 4:15, put her in the car and she should be reasonably ok if its not multiple days running...

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Re: Hand holding and advice pls
« Reply #74 on: January 21, 2018, 07:50:07 am »
I try feed as little as possible for the last NF as sheís hardly ever every hunger in the morning if I donít. This kid is soooo sensitive to any kind of change. Yesterday she had a perfect easy, 33h A 2x naps of 1.5h then we went out for dinner and on her way home she fell asleep for literally 10min. Woke when we tried to move her, then it took 40min to get her back to sleep. She then woke every 30min till I just gave up and went to bed, up I donít even know how many times because itís all a fog, I fed her 3 maybe 4 times to just get her to sleep! All because of 10min in the car!

So 1 a week I have nursery drop off and she stays with DH and he does the nap. He just puts her to sleep and starts getting ready for work so as she doesnít extend on her own, itís 30-40min cn. Sometimes I try get out to meet a friend in the morning so itís a cn in the pram on those days too. I tried. 2x cn then long nap and it was a disaster. So was thinking cn, long nap, cn, that routine would work with the afternoon nursery runs too or weekends when I struggle to sit with her for every nap. . But that doesnít fit in the day. She doesnít transfer unfortunately. Itís winter and I take the bus so I have to dress her in a snow suit. She only naps well at home in bed with me httj - so Iím in with her for 1h shhh patting or holding down her arms. In a pram sheíll do 30-40min. She also doesnít nap more than 1.5h, ever.
WU8, A3h, cn 30min at 11, A 2.5h, 2 pm nap 1.5h, up at 3.30... then I canít fit anther cn in.
Was thinking this:
WU 7.30am
S 10.30 nap1
WU 12.00
S 3.00 CN1
WU 3.30
S 5.30 CN2
WU 6.00
Bed time 8.00 but then our A times later in the day get super short and I have to rush back in the morning and ask DH not to put her down at all.

Just a thought, maybe the awful night was caused by solids? She had a bit of bread and a bit of dd1s turkey in batter. But blw so itís not like she actually swallowed more than a few bites. Just grasping at straws.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2018, 08:01:45 am by eva026 »