Author Topic: Shush pat - comfortable posture possible? (killing my arm and back)  (Read 600 times)

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Offline cinnamon_a

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Hello everyone,

Esperienced mommas please help!

My LO is 10 weeks old and we started shush-pat routine yesterday. It works quite well already: since starting it my baby does not cry as much anymore, I donít have to pick him up anymore to calm him, I think he accepted the routine quite well! Previously Iíve been rocking him to sleep and he cried a lot, so itís a progress.

Now, unfortunately after the day of putting my son to sleep with shush-pat, it feels that my back is prodded with a hot iron and my arm and hand are falling off.
 My son naps 5 times a day + 1 time night sleep. Every time itís at least 30 min shush-patting. Thatís 3 hours a day of standing crouched over the bed and patting in an uncomfortable position with back pain and constant muscle strain!

What am I doing wrong? I am starting to hate and dead every babyís  nap because it brings more pain every time.
Please help me figure out how can I make it more comfortable for me. Thank you, ladies!


Offline becj86

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Re: Shush pat - comfortable posture possible? (killing my arm and back)
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2017, 20:40:25 pm »
Hi :)

Can you bring a chair up to the bed, sit down, pop your arm through the bars and pat him at a comfortable height?

If you're doing shush/pat for 30min, you may be putting him down a little early (undertired)... how long is he taking to fall asleep? Are you continuing for 20min after he falls asleep?

Offline cinnamon_a

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Re: Shush pat - comfortable posture possible? (killing my arm and back)
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2017, 04:54:37 am »
Becj86, thank you very much for your reply!
I did put the chair and it helped a little bit, but itís still uncomfortable as I have to hang over the crib (I have a chicco next2me cosleeper) and after two days of shush pat I feel like a truck ran over me.
Yes I might have put my baby too early but I watched him closely and started the wind up routine directly after the first yawn or scratching/rubbing eyes. Can a wind down routine is too short? I do 4s: - going around the living room, saying goodbuye to his activity gym, swing, etc.;
- going to the bedroom, putting on a short lullaby
- while lullaby is playing, drawing the curtains
- shutting the door
- if after 5pm, switching off the light
- swaddling -> he always starts to cry
- giving a paci
- sitting (he always cries so I do shush pat)
The whole thing up until sitting takes ca. 3 - 5 min. Should I add another step or two?

As of counting the minutes for shush pat, yes, I did, 20 min. But it takes longer for him to reach deep sleep, because he wakes up and fusses/cries several times during shush pat.


« Last Edit: November 30, 2017, 05:01:33 am by cinnamon_a »

Offline becj86

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Re: Shush pat - comfortable posture possible? (killing my arm and back)
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2017, 05:24:56 am »
WD routines are very variable - some babies do great with a long one like yours, some like shorter ones, like walk in, put down, shush/pat. Given he's crying at specific parts of the WD routine, its probably worth trying a shorter one. You probably don't need to do WD the minute he yawns, certainly that may serve you well at this age but in a month's time, that will cause you problems because he may well start using similar cues to convey that he'd like a change of activity. I wonder if its taking a while for him to get to sleep because he's either under or overtired - what's the A time you're working with at the moment? How long are his naps? Maybe it would be best if you could write out an EAS?

Just looked up a picture of the crib you're using - can you change the height of it so you can sit up and have your arm hanging down to pat him? What about putting the box bit on the floor and sitting on the floor? What about zipping the side down to pat and putting it up once he's asleep?

Offline cinnamon_a

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Re: Shush pat - comfortable posture possible? (killing my arm and back)
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2017, 14:07:53 pm »
This is our EAS routine

08:15 am - 08:45 am - eat (breastfeed / formula)
8:45 - 9:15 - activity (diaper change, talking, activity gym, walking around the apartment)
9:15 - 9:30 wind down (4s). Sitting part involves LO crying, kicking and me shush patting him until he settles and almost falls asleep.
9:30 - 10:15 sleep. Falls asleep while I hold him until he reaches deep sleep, ca 20 min.

10:15 am - 11:00 am - eat
11:00 - 11:15 - activity
11:15 - 11:30 - wind down
11:30 - 12:15 - sleep

12:15 pm - 01:15 pm- eat (it takes one hour because later in the day my milk supply decreases, LO sleeps at the breast a little bit, so it takes longer and After the breastfeeding I have to supplement with formula)
1:15 - 1:30 - activity
1:30 - 1:45 - wind down
1:45 - 2:30 - sleep

2:30 pm - 3:30 pm - eat
3:30 - 3:45 - activity
3:45 - 4:00 - wind down
4:00 - 4:45 - sleep

4:45 pm - 5:45 pm - eat
5:45 pm - 6:00 pm - activity
6:00 - 6:15 - wind down
6:15 - 7:00 - sleep

7:00 pm - 8:00 pm - eat
8:00 - 8:15 - activity
8:15 - 8:30 - wind down
8:30 - 9:15 - sleep

9:15 pm - 10:15 pm - eat
10:15 - 10:30 - activity
10:30 - 10:45 - wind down
10:45 pm - 3:00 - sleep

3:00 - 3:45 - sleepy eat
3:45 - 05:45 - sleep

05:45 - 06:30 - sleepy eat
06:30 - 08:00 - sleep

Thank you for the ideas on how to make it easier to pat in the cosleeper! Iíll give it the last try with your suggestions and see, but if it doesnít work, Iíll probably postpone the shush pat training until he sleeps through the night. The plan is then to have him sleep in the actual crib (with bars :) ) in his own bedroom/nursery.

Iím surprised to hear that our wind down routine might be too long, I thought itís very short.. but what do I know, Iím the first time mom. Everything is new! Will try to shorten and see what it does.

Today waited a bit longer (till 3 yawns and unhappy grunts) to start the WD and he went to sleep faster! Thank you for the tip!

Today, after two days of shush patting I am giving my son and myself a break and letting him fall asleep in my arms. Thatís the bad news. The good news is that after these two days I donít have to ROCK him to sleep anymore and we have a wind down routine! So thereís progress!

Shush-patting while heís in my arms is so easy in comparison, like breath of air! I can do it for hours :))) Should I shush-pat him the way I would in the crib, until the deep sleep?

Whatís the benefit of shush patting for 20 minutes after baby falls asleep as opposed to be silent and still as soon as he falls asleep and shush patting if he starts to cry/wake up?

Offline becj86

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Re: Shush pat - comfortable posture possible? (killing my arm and back)
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2017, 23:43:00 pm »
Thank you for the ideas on how to make it easier to pat in the cosleeper! Iíll give it the last try with your suggestions and see, but if it doesnít work, Iíll probably postpone the shush pat training until he sleeps through the night. The plan is then to have him sleep in the actual crib (with bars  ) in his own bedroom/nursery.
That's fine - you do it when you're ready. Its a rare older person who will say they wish they held their babies less.

Iím surprised to hear that our wind down routine might be too long, I thought itís very short.. but what do I know, Iím the first time mom. Everything is new! Will try to shorten and see what it does.
At this age, really its about doing something less stimulating if they're OS/hyper for a little while (books never worked for my DS, they were just too exciting!) then providing a cue that its sleep time. The best WD for us was to just lie DS in his bed, swaddle and shush/pat off to sleep. More than that and he would really get upset because he would know it was nearly time for sleep and if he was not yet tired, he would scream.

Today waited a bit longer (till 3 yawns and unhappy grunts) to start the WD and he went to sleep faster! Thank you for the tip!
Great! In 3 weeks' time, he'll be probably able to stay up 1.5hr from when he wakes to when he falls asleep for his next nap. The first 3 months, awake times are really variable as babies 'wake up' from the sleepy newborn phase at different times but given he's really only sleeping 45min for all his naps, you might find he can stay awake longer than an hour at this point.

Shush-patting while heís in my arms is so easy in comparison, like breath of air! I can do it for hours ) Should I shush-pat him the way I would in the crib, until the deep sleep?
Yep, once he stays asleep reasonably easily, you can reduce/stop patting earlier.

Whatís the benefit of shush patting for 20 minutes after baby falls asleep as opposed to be silent and still as soon as he falls asleep and shush patting if he starts to cry/wake up?
This is about helping stay asleep - when babies are in the earlier stages of sleep (and adults too, actually), we twitch/jerk a bit - we're used to this and may not even notice it but babies notice it and wake themselves up. 

Supply wise - why do you think your supply is insufficient? Is he not gaining weight? Not satisfied? Unhappy? Just wondering - I was told I had a low supply but I had too much milk. Sometimes baby will feed for less time because he's getting more efficient. Sometimes he may fall asleep on the breast because he's tired and milk has special sleepy stuff in it. I can see that he might be tired and fall asleep on the breast with so many short naps in there.