Overtired and sleep deprived 8 week old

[mommytham]

My son is almost 9 weeks old and for the past 4 weeks it has been very difficult to soothe him to sleep and to get him to stay sleeping.  We are trying to follow a 3-hour EASY.  He is taking breastmilk from the bottle (currently 4 oz at each feed) and has some spit-up.  He sometimes takes a pacifier, but most of the time he spits it out after a few sucks.  We have tried everything to soothe him to sleep - rocking, walking, bouncing, swinging, lullabies, shushing, patting, even Ted talks.  He just refuses to close his eyes to sleep.  He can stay up for 6 hours straight - wide-eyed and sometimes falling asleep for 10 minute spurts and then when we try to put him down or move him, he wakes right up again.  When he eventually falls asleep exhausted, during the day he will only sleep for 30-45 minutes and then he will wake up crying and fussy.  At that time, I try to re-settle him.  Sometimes I can get him to sleep on my chest or else I will try to feed him again and restart the cycle (but I am trying not do that too often because he should not be hungry and ready for another bottle after 1.5 hours from his last feed).  At night after we finally get him to sleep, he will sleep for 3 or 4 hours at a time (which is fine with me).  He only sleeps well in the car seat, in the stroller or on my chest.  Is this common?  Is there a reason why he is so alert and wide-eyed?  What can I do to soothe him to sleep?  Does he have reflux or something that prevents him from laying on his back?  I am losing my mind and am concerned that he is overtired and sleep deprived because he is very fussy when he wakes up and he cries because he wants to sleep longer.  I also have a very hard time following the 3 hour EASY since he is awake within 1.5 to 2 hours of his last feed and shouldn't be hungry for the next bottle.  If I give him A time until the next feed, he would not have any A time after the next feed, but he would still not be able to nap longer than 45 minutes in his next nap so the vicious cycle continues!  Any advice would be much appreciated!

[mommytham]

I should also mention that currently we only have success with getting him to fall asleep by playing Ted talks and then bouncing him to sleep.  He also sleeps in the bed with us so that we can pat him or lay a hand on his chest when he cannot settle.  I know this is all very terrible and seems unconventional but I also have a 4-year old son and am losing my mind trying to get this lil guy to sleep.  We will do what we can to survive!

[becj86]

Hi, welcome to BW.

Here's some info re: reflux: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=654.0

Can you post an EAS for him? Wondering if he's maybe undertired for naps but becoming OT through the day from short naps.

He sounds like he may be a bit overstimulated... the wide-eyed stare when up for 6hr straight, the waking up screaming in the middle of a nap.

If he's in a growth spurt, he may well be hungry after 2hr - if he giving hungry cues? If so, its important to feed him. Wanting to feed frequently is another potential sign of reflux too though, so worth reading the link above and looking into it.

He's very little, its ok to do what you have to, to get some sleep into him. There's plenty of time to deal with independent sleep later once he's into a more settled routine and life is on a more even keel.

[mommytham]

Thanks for the reply.  I am trying to get him on a 3-hour EASY but because of the short naps it's not totally working and he doesn't have a consistent bedtime or wake-up time.  So, let's say his wake up time is 7am, then his EAS would look like this:

7am - E
7:25am - A
7:50am - begin wind-down and if lucky, he sleeps at 8:15am/8:25am.  sometimes he is so alert that he doesn't sleep for another 20-30 minutes - S
45 minutes later (let's say 9am), he is awake and fussy.  I try to resettle him by using the paci, bouncing, putting him on me, etc., and if nothing works, then I feed him around 9:30am

9:30am - E
9:55am - A
10:15am - wind-down and hopefully he sleeps at 10:30am/10:45am. 
45 minutes later, he is awake and fussy.  I try to resettle and if he doesn't fall asleep, then I feed him early at 11:30-12ish

11:30am - E
11:55am - A - he is then so tired from the lack of sleep that he sometimes falls asleep on my shoulder
12:15pm - S - I put him in bassinet and cross my fingers that he will sleep longer than 45 minutes.  Sometimes he ends up sleeping 1.5 hours or he wakes up after 45 minutes and then I put him on me to sleep and he can sleep for 2 hours.

2:30pm - E
2:55pm - A
3:45pm - S
45 minutes later, he is awake and fussy.  I try to resettle and if he doesn't fall asleep, then I feed him early at 4:30-5

The same thing goes on for the next feed and the feed after that which is around 8:30pm

8:30pm - E
8:55pm - A which is a diaper change and then we try to put him to sleep shortly after that
This is when it gets even more frustrating because he can be wide-eyed and not fall asleep (no matter how much we bounce, walk, swing, etc.) until 12/1am.  In between that time, we give him a bottle or two to try to resettle him.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Once he falls asleep, he's so tired that after his night wakings, he typically goes right back asleep.

For example,
3:30am - E
4am - S

6:30am - E
7am - S

9am - E, etc. etc.

Hope this answers your question.  Any advice would be appreciated.  Thank you!

[mommytham]

I've also tried shortening his A time and winding down earlier (after he eats), but it still takes him a long time to fall asleep and he seems more frustrated then if I start a little before the one-hour mark.

[becj86]

Maybe try a touch more A time than 1hr-1:15... he may resettle easier as he does for the 3rd nap when he's had two 45min naps.