Author Topic: 3 years old "don't want to sleep"  (Read 1342 times)

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Offline Noelie

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3 years old "don't want to sleep"
« on: December 16, 2017, 20:25:08 pm »
Hello,

DD was never a great sleeper, from the start, she has been fighting and screaming nap and BT, sometimes/often for up to 1h30, anyway, fast forward 3 years and we've made progress but still struggling. Her bedtime routine is HUGE, it takes forever, it's way too long, no screaming though, but it's taking longer and longer. She has dropped her nap in the last couple of months, but will have the odd one here and there (mainly at nursery...). At first it was great, no nap meant an early and easy BT, but now she is pushing it back again, even though we can tell she is tired, every night we have "but i don't want to sleep". I stay with her and talk and sing and leave when she is calm and she goes to sleep on her own.

WU between 6 and 8
Nap (rare) 12.30 (1H30)
BT between 7.30 and 9.30

She still wakes up at night (she has rarely slept through, and had some recurrent breathing problems for 2 years, that seem to be finally under control). She has an agitated scream in her sleep around 2 hours after falling asleep, and usually 1 wake up or another shout in her sleep later in the night. The unpredictability is very hard for me, I am ill for life (and have been since she was born, bad luck) and the unpredictability is very hard for me, even though my partner is the one getting up at night most of the time, I wake up and don't go back to sleep, the lack of sleep is really getting to us.

Anyway, is there anything i can do to help her, and do i just have to bear it until it gets better on its own? thanks



Offline -Maya-

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Re: 3 years old "don't want to sleep"
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2017, 13:57:39 pm »
I have a DS that is awful at sleeping. He is 3,5yo, so I think I can relate. My first remark regards that when your DD has a nap she has a very long one. For us 1.5h of nap during the day means BT later than 9.30, possibly 10 and a WU time at least half an hour earlier than usual (aroud 6).
But I do not like this swing of BT so when DS nap I try to keep the nap 45 min long, maximum 1h. In this way we have a reasonable BT (9pm) in days with a nap and we keep his day consistent.
My other remarks is that first time I have tried to remove his nap, he was ok for one week, then he started pushing his BT. It took to me some time to understand that he was OT, so I got the (short) nap back some days. Maybe you DD is stuck in some OT cycle like my DS.

Now I decide on a daily basis if he has to nap or not and my aim is to keep WU & BT as much consistent as possible. This is not removing wake up during nights, but at least I try to put some consistency in his day as well as in mine.

HTH

Offline Noelie

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Re: 3 years old "don't want to sleep"
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2017, 11:08:01 am »
Thank you Maya,

Now you've said it, it makes sense and I can recognise a pattern here with the late BT and early WU :) I will try your suggestions of capping the nap, and introducing a consistent BT rather than letting her nap as she pleases and then juggling her BT on a daily basis.

Since my post, we have also made some progress. After days of her repeating "I don't want to sleep" in a loop like a broken record and me asking her why that is, we finally got somewhere. Long story short: a staff at nursery told her it was dangerous to cover her head with the blanket while sleeping, which DD translated into "it's dangerous to sleep" and therefore fighting sleep. Fingers crossed now we've got that misunderstanding cleared, she will catch up on sleep as she's definitely been OT in the last few days (not helped by the facts we've travelled for Xmas to see family, she's going down with a cold and she excited with her birthday on Monday!)

She is sleeping peacefully as I type, and i'm looking forward to a new start and a wonderful and refreshed little girl.

Thank you again for replying and have a lovely Xmas and New Year