Author Topic: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine  (Read 1879 times)

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Offline FaithfulMom

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10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« on: January 12, 2018, 05:05:35 am »
I've been perusing this forum for weeks and has found many helpful tips, but this will be my first post! New to the BW world. I really need help with my sleep deprived 10 week old. We've been on EASY since birth essentially, and nap training / consistent bedtime routine since week 6-7. But more days than not, DS fights sleep and my husband and I are exhausted! Hate to see him so cranky and tired - Really want my happy baby back!

Main issue is that he wakes up every hour after we put him down for bedtime around 7-8pm. He keeps waking up until 1100 pm / MN (last night, he cried at 1:00am too ... sigh and wouldn't resettle until 2:40am). After 1100pm, he will wake up around 3:30am, or last two nights after waking up after midnight, he went to 7:00am (!)

I'm thinking he thinks the bedtime is like his naps, which are now only 45mins / 1 hour naps. This already is an improvement in this week only; beforehand, he would wake at 20 / 30 mins mark and not resettle. Since winding him down earlier, his naps are improved!

EAS 2 nights ago was like this. schedule still pretty sporadic because of his short naps.
730: wake and eat
850 - 930: sleep (40 mins)
1000: eat
1030 - 1130: sleep (1 hr) & 1250 - 2:00p (1 hr 20m) - was out doing errands
2:00: eat
3:50 - 4:30: sleep (resettled at 10 mins)
5:00: eat
6:10 - 7:10: sleep (resettled at 35 mins)
7:15: eat
7:30: bath & bedtime routine
8:25-10:00p: sleep (woke and resettled at 40m / 20m / 25m)
10:00: cluster feed
10:10-11:00: sleep
11:30: was hoping to be dreamfeed, but already crying
11:40-12:20 (40m) and wouldn't resettle
1:30a: night feed
1:40a - 7:20a: finally slept!
 
 

Today so far looking slightly better:
0730: wake and eat
0840-0930: sleep (50mins)
1000: eat (2.5 hrs since he woke early and was getting cranky)
1115-1150: sleep (40 mins)
1:00p: eat
1:35p-3:30p: sleep (put down after diaper change bc was up so long before). resettled after 20 mins.
3:30p: eat
5:00p-6:15p: sleep (cried/resettled after 20 mins)
6:20p: eat
6:40p: bath and bedtime routine
7:30p: sleep (and still sleeping!!!!)
 
Any recommendations and help would be great!!! During the night, he cries hysterically and no matter how much shush / pat, holding, even rocking can't stop him from crying for 30mins. Finally after he calms down, he's wide awake and will cry when I try to get him back drowsy and back in bed. Eventually he gets super super tired and cranky, and I feed him because he starts to root (is it possible he got hungry from crying so long?), and then sleeps.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2018, 04:30:47 am by FaithfulMom »

Offline Erin M

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2018, 20:18:02 pm »
Hi there!  Welcome to the forum!
I'm sorry your post has gotten missed for a few days.  We had some weirdness with the forum and people were having a hard time logging on.  Are things pretty much the same or have they changed at all?  Let me know and we'll see what we can figure out.
Thanks!

Offline FaithfulMom

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2018, 01:04:26 am »
Hi Erin, thanks for getting back to me!

Things have magically gotten better and I canít believe the weeks of training is starting to show. After bedtime routine at 7:30p, he has slept to 2 hours before waking for a feed (even if I fed him 2 hours ago). After midnight have longer stretches. But last few nights, he woke up one day at 2am, another day at 3:30, and yesterday at 2:30 & 5:30am.

We are trying to be as consistent as possible so hopefully he will know to sleep longer! But each night somewhere in the 7:30-7:30p, he will wake up for an hour and not sleep. Mostly itís around 10-11ish. Do you think heís not used to sleeping 11hr at night without activitY? Heís not crying but just awake and doesnít want to sleep. 

Iím curious if you have advice on cluster feeds and dreamfeeds. If heís still sleeping, do I wake him up to feed a cluster? Or can I be another dreamfeed? So far, Iíve let him wake on own or dreamfeed the cluster so that he keeps sleeping.


Offline Erin M

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2018, 22:04:55 pm »
Yay, love to hear that you're making progress.  It does take them a bit to start sorting out their sleep at that age.  :)
At around 11 weeks, you'd probably want to be working away from the cluster feeding and just working towards doing a dream feed, if it works for you.  (2 out of my 3 did well with the dream feed but my middle would have nothing to do with it.)  So I'd just feed before bed and then do a dream feed.

The wake up around 10/11 is probably just him sorting out his daytime and nighttime sleep.  If he's wide awake when he wakes up, you might try to lengthen his awake time before he goes to sleep - or shorten his last nap before that last A time.  It's really a tricky balancing act at that age - mine always seemed to get cranky and overtired at that age so I was always trying to balance enough A time with enough sleep.   What does that last bit before bed look like right now?  I found that my kids always did well in the morning and things would get progressively rockier as the day went on.  You do sound like you're really headed in the right direction!

Offline FaithfulMom

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2018, 20:00:59 pm »
As soon as I said things were getting better, it took a turn. For the last three nights, he woke up every 2.5-3hr like clockwork all night long. At first, i would try to shush pat or paci (even tho it only really works when he nimbles on it to distract himself and doesnít really suck), but he refused the paci and kept sucking on his hands and rooting. So eventually I nursed him at each waking (Iím fearing accidental parenting!). He hadnít been waking up so frequently for at least a week. Growth spurt ??? Our night schedule has been rocked a bit with visitors and night outings (although we are home for bedtime) so maybe that could be it too. 

Since his naps are still short, I try not to wake him so he gets more ďdaytime sleep hoursĒ in to be about 5 hours. So his bedtime is a little lenient around 7-8pm put down. The last activity before bedtime regardless of the length of nap before seems to still be 1hr-1hr15. He gets cranky in the middle of the prayer/song. And we have to put him in his bed. (Huge accomplishment is we can walk out the room and mostly he will fall asleep on his own). :)

Thanks for responding. So as long as we keep putting him right back to sleep, he will eventually realize the 10/11pm wakings are not needed? And we just dreamfeed at that time?

Offline Erin M

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2018, 22:46:07 pm »
The back and forth improvements are typical at his age - but the fact that heís mostly falling asleep on his own is amazing!  The little accomplishments are huge at this stage!  At 4 mo the, there is a fairly huge growth spurt - are you about there?  That could be the cause of your current wakings at night.  If youíre getting a wake up at a somewhat predictable time in that 10//11 range, you might try feeding him about 10 minutes before - sometimes that will keep them from waking up at that point. 

Offline FaithfulMom

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2018, 22:58:07 pm »
Heís 11 weeks tomorrow so not quite 3 months yet. Iíll try the feeding right before 10/11 and see if that helps! Do you think itís still hunger if heís waking up every 3 hours at night?

Offline Erin M

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2018, 01:09:03 am »
 
Heís 11 weeks tomorrow so not quite 3 months yet.
Oh goodness, you can tell it's been a while since I had one that small - you had just said 11 weeks, which is nowhere near 4 months!  ::)


During the night, he cries hysterically and no matter how much shush / pat, holding, even rocking can't stop him from crying for 30mins.
Is this still the case when he's waking at night?  If it is, I'd almost be inclined to feed at night for now - however, I would try occasionally to settle without feeding to see if it can be done.  At this point, I would not stress about it - night feeds are super good for your supply and it could be that he honestly just does need the calories.  Babies are so different - at 11 weeks, I had one that was doing a dream feed plus one night feed, one that wouldn't do the dream feed and woke 1-2 times a night to eat, and one that was waking every 2-3 hours to eat. 
From looking at your routine, I would say that you might want to slowly work on pushing your A time so it's just a touch longer - right around the 90 minute mark is your goal at this point.  That should lengthen your naps over an hour - I always worked one nap at a time and had the best luck first thing in the morning getting that "right" A time and nap time.  (Truly, the days were few and far between when mine were small when the whole day worked out ok, but we did get through enough of the day to give us better nights.)

Offline FaithfulMom

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2018, 07:28:34 am »
Thanks for your reply and sorry it took awhile t get back. Super encouraging to hear that your kids were all different kind of sleepers and that itíll all work out eventually. I trialed some methods and your suggestions for a few days.

I was able to extend DS activity to 1.5hr and he was so much happier. Less fussy when put to sleep bc he was more tired and wanted to sleep. Most naps he goes down without a fight and will fall asleep on his own.  ;D morning nap has been 1-2hrs! (I have to wake him up at 2hr15 so he doesnít go too long without food or nap too long). Afternoon naps still have been rough but some have been 1hr.

Night time waking still happening every hour until midnight. I tried feeding him right before his wake up and he would just wake an hour after the feed. Or I tried wake to sleep which just woke him up. Sigh. Most successful is to be there for his jolt and extend his sleep. One night was able to do that and dreamfeed so got him sleeping 10p to 2am. He still cries hysterically and calms with a paci but will wake up in a few minutes crying again. This goes on for 30+mins and I end up feeding. So youíre right - I donít think Iíll stress and just feed if itís not just after a feed.

Luckily in the middle of the night, heís stretching out the hours again. I did w2s before his 4am waking and that pushed him out til 5/6. How do you suggest pushing him out til 6/7?

Everyday is so different and I keep feeling like his schedule is jumping around. Sorry so many questions. Am i putting him down too early or waking up too late? Heís been waking up at 5/6 and night feeding so he wakes up at 7/8 but then thatís almost 13 hours (12 if you subtract the hour he is awake in middle of the night)

Yesterday (starting from bedtime):
S: bedtime 7:30p
E: cluster 9:30p
WU: 1100p
E: 1130p
S: 1220a
WU: 0540
E: 0550
S: 0600
WU: 0830 (I woke him)
E: 0835
S: 1000
WU: 1215 (I woke)
E: 1215
S: 1:30
WU: 2:00
E: 4:00
S: 4:30 (resettle at 30m)
WU: 6:00
E: 6:25 and bedtime
S: 7:20 etc.


Offline Erin M

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #9 on: January 23, 2018, 03:05:35 am »
Is he crying at his before midnight wake ups?  Could be some overtiredness or overstimulation - not that youíre doing anything wrong, just that it takes some time for him to be able to settle down - I think you mentioned you do a good winddown at night, it could just be that as he gets older he will get better at staying asleep.  It could also be that as you push out the daytime awake time, he needs to get used to that as well.   Basically, Iíd say keep things as low key as you can in the evenings. 

As for the 5/6AM waking - my approach was usually to feed at his age - if you can get away with a one sided/shorter feed, Iíd do that as I feel like they become less dependent on it that way - mine all eventually dropped it on their own.

Honestly your routine looks pretty good for his age - I would let it be for a few days and see where it gets you.  Babies need some time to adjust - and that middle of the night stretch is great!

Offline FaithfulMom

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2018, 10:49:13 am »
Thanks for looking at the EAS and encouragement! He does cry at the before midnight wake ups, but calms after I nurse him. We tried to not nurse but he just cries and fussed. Iím afraid Iím causing him to become dependent on nursing back to sleep. I do stir him swakenafter I feed so he falls asleep drowsy but heís pretty sleepy already. Last night, I wasnít home and DH tried to console him but he wouldnít fall asleep until an hour or so later. He would be calm and wide awake or sleepy and just wonít go into the crib.

Itís been hard figuring his sleep patterns and I know thereís no magic answer, but heís not even sleeping more than 3-4 hour stretches again.

Offline Erin M

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2018, 21:35:05 pm »
Ugh, that's the worst.  I would keep work on stretching that time slowly - between 3 and 4 months it seems like there's so much constant change and that your routine is forever shifting around - which makes consistent sleep really hard.  If your NWings aren't constant and if he's taking good full feeds, I would think that he just needs to eat at the wake ups.  If you feel like he's waking every hour and needing to eat, I'd say that he's just nursing back to sleep for comfort and not needing to eat.  I know I worried at that age about creating dependence on nursing back to sleep, but I did find that they stretched their hours out and dropped those feeds on their own.  I don't think I did anything different with my 3 and I had one that dropped night feeds early (3/4 months), one in the middle (6/7 months) and one later (at a year). 

There's also a 3 month growth spurt which could be the cause of your more frequent wakings the last few days.  :)

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #12 on: January 26, 2018, 04:48:12 am »
Thanks for responding. I feel like Iím at such a lost and your guidance is super reassuring. Iím totally feeling like a failure and not doing anything right even though Iíve been trying so hard. Itís always been hard to know if he takes full feeds bc he seems to fall asleep. This week heís been nursing less time during the day and his weight is starting to plateau so I fear my milk supply is dropping. And maybe thatís why he keeps waking up at night.

He does wake consistently at 11 and 3, and I feed him since itís been about 3 hours. But before 11, it could be comfort. I feel like Iím losing all skills in comforting him and heís lesrning to be held to sleep or nurses to sleep. How do i break these habits when he doesnít even take paci ?

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2018, 22:44:52 pm »
Hi, i hope things are going well now.

Nursing less is not a sign of supply issues so try not to worry. If he was hungry he would be nursing more. 2 night feeds at this age is great. Many babies start to wake more between 3-4mo because they start to sleep in cycles rather than spending long periods in deep sleep like in the earlier weeks. He's still tiny and learning so try not to overthink it. Fwiw my 10wo has 3 or even 4 NFs some nights! I definitely don't have supply issues. My baby isn't great at settling in the evening so i just keep her down in the living room with me until i go to bed between 10-12. SIDS recs are actually that they should sleep in the same room as a parent anyway rather than in a room alone. Plus snuggling on the sofa watching tv is far less stressful than trying to get and then keep her asleep for hours. Sometimes i put her down in the bouncy chair once asleep.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2018, 22:48:48 pm by *Ali* »
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Offline FaithfulMom

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #14 on: February 01, 2018, 19:42:21 pm »
Things have been still inconsistent. Mostly waking every 3hr. But now itís better in the sense after a 9pm feed, even without a dreamfeed, he will stay sleeping past midnight. So the beginning of the bedtime routine has improved somewhat.

Seems like Iíll just have to wait for him to organize his sleeping and eat better during the day. Iím fearing the 3-4 month regression in sleep!! I only think I have a low supply bc he will empty the breast and still want to suck, but is content to wait another 3-4hrs during the day. But come evenings, he wonít go past 2-3 hrs between feeds. We tried to give bottle of ebm consistently for a few days (using tips from forum) and he refused until super hungry last night and DH had to feed him since I wasnít home. Slept for 5hrs stretch finally. But today, he refused again.

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Re: 10 week old Wakes every hour after bedtime routine
« Reply #15 on: February 02, 2018, 22:21:26 pm »
Yes it's normal to feed lots in the evening when prolactin hormone levels are higher. Just continue responsive feeding. Sounds lime LO is doing great 🙂
Cadan Dec 2009 and Colby Aug 2011