Lets start by saying I EBF and our daughter sleeps with us in the family bed. I have been reading this forum daily in the last two weeks since I finally started teaching my daughter (now exactly 3 months) how to fall asleep independently. Till little over 2 weeks ago she was still rocked to sleep and sleeping on me for every nap. The last two week I spent in teaching her how to fall asleep in the bed by herself introducing a bedtime and nap routine, putting her down and then patting her. She learned very quickly and I stopped patting very fast and I use it now exclusively when she gets distressed while falling asleep (usually when OT) just to calm her down enough to be able to fall asleep on her own. I find that actually if she is really distressed picking her up and calming her and then putting her down again works almost better. Anyway. We still are battling with short 45 minutes nap days periodically in-between good nap days but in the last few days she has been able to at least transition for one of her naps if not both and then take a last short nap before bedtime. She still wakes up after 45 minutes almost at every nap but if I give her 15-20 minutes she is able to resettle herself (actually way better as if I were to go in to shh-pat her, that never worked for resettling). The way she resettle is similar to the way she falls asleep: a bit of protest cry in short intervals of 10-15 seconds, a bit of quite sobby sighing, turning head from side to side, complain loud talk, a bit of quiet laying, a bit of fussing and then this pattern starts over again. She does all of this with her eyes closed. She either then falls asleep like this or she quiets down and open her eyes and stares into the room till eyes drop. If she has a hard time settling because of OT she can then get really frustrated at falling asleep and would start crying here and there for 1-2 minutes. But it looks always like a frustration towards the falling asleep more then an ask for help. If I intervene it seems just to make the process longer. For nap time I lay next to her till she falls asleep without intervening unless needed. For transitioning I stand out of the door and observe her to make sure she is actually trying to go back to sleep. If she succeeds transitioning it is anything between 15-30 min (depending how well she went down) Sometimes I even let her try for 45 minutes if she fell asleep and was quite in-between but then woke up again before reaching deep sleep.
Anyway the reason I am explaining this in depth is because the last 4 days she woke up at night. She used to sleep from 7-7 with two night feeds without even really waking up. The last 4 days she woke up in-between the feeds and I though she shouldn't be hungry so I waited and since she didn't do the hungry cry I let her resettle herself. But it takes her 1-2 hours of the above described. She never did that before. (I must admit that my husband on the first night did pat her back to sleep but with his patting almost being a rocking in bed) But the last 3 nights I let her settle herself since she didn't really cry, she was more frustrated that anything, but it took her up to 2 hours. I don't really know what to do here. I have not rocked her to sleep in two weeks and I don't want to go back in doing that. Patting calms her only down if distressed or if I do consistently I have to keep it up till deep asleep and I think it might be contra productive. She didn't sound hungry and she was able to self settle and woke up for food later in the night. I am so tired that I was thinking maybe I should just nurse her as soon as I hear her stirring to prevent her from even waking up but I am afraid of then creating a new problem. Yesterday night after she was able to fall back asleep after 2 hours I did nurse her because her usual feed time was only about 1 hour away. She didn't fall asleep nursing but she quiet down and relaxed and fell asleep while just looking into the room 20 minutes later.
Our bedtime routine is a diaper change, a little massage, the swaddle, then 2 lullabies on the rocking chair. Here I barely rock, I use it as wind down time. I rock a bit if she is OT to get her in a better drowsy state to help her settle to sleep.
Her awake time is still barely over 1 hour (usually 1hour and 15 minutes but I watch for her signs). If we have a short 45min nap day I count her trying to resettle as part of awake time because she gets up tired. Toward the end of the day I put her down gradually earlier. When se ends up going down for the night on such a day she either takes up to 2 hours to settle or wakes up 45 minutes after again. Bedtime around 6 on short nap days
On a good day she naps 2-3 hours in the morning, 2 hours first afternoon nap, and 45 min nap later in the afternoon. Bedtime around 7 and goes down easily for bedtime without waking after 45 min
On an average day she has 2 short naps and one good nap. Bedtime depending on last wake up but always between 6-8. Sometimes goes down easy sometimes not. Sometimes wakes up after 45 min, sometimes not.
She has been waking up around 2-ish with this new night waking issue on good days as well as short days as well as average days.
She usually feeds after last nap around 5pm and I try to feed her again before bedtime about 1-1.5 hours later. Sometimes she takes it, sometimes not. I feed her when we go to bed around 11pm and then again around 4-5am.
What can I do about this new night waking? I need some guidance in this.
