(6MO) issues with naps, night sleeps, split nights and EW

[Jessjess]

Hey Everyone,

I’ve never posted in a forum before but I am no longer able to see wood for the trees and am desperate for some help on what to do.

The first thing the midwife said when he was born was “oh he is very alert”. I learnt that this equals he doesn’t sleep. He has never really napped for more then 45 mins unless rocked in the bouncer pushchair or while driving.

He had terrible silent reflux and used to scream for hours on end as a newborn, is dairy intolerant and on Neocate, he has started weaning and has 2 small meals a day. He never drinks more than 3oz of milk in one go. He is putting in weight just fine. He has issues in and off with constipation, he also is also getting around 5 teeth at the moment it seems - although it could be months I guess before any of them cut.

He is a spirited child, very emotionally sensitive (he cries when he sees me cry), he gets hysterical very quickly and then will not stop crying for ages. Once he cries for more than 45 mins he will vomit. When he is awake he is happy, when he gets tired he starts whinging but is not yet ready to go to sleep.

He naps no more than 45 mins usually and he wakes at night 12 times plus basically. The longest he ever slept in one go since he was born is about 4 hours.

I have started a sleep diary as I’ve never kept one before. I am trying to implement Easy, but the issue is that by the time his next nap comes round he is now hungry again, so I have to feed him again and again. The 3oz he has in one go are not enough to keep him going across nearly 3 hours awake time plus a 90 minutes nap. So this is a big issue. He is seeing a dietitian again next month, but the last ones advice was to just not give him food. So I sent her a video of him balling his eyes out from hunger and asked her how long she thinks I should leave him to cry like that because it’s another 2 hours until he is “due” a feed.

So I don’t have the detailed diary yet but usually our days are along the lines of.

6am regular wake up time - can be as early as 4.30am but never later than 6.30am. If wakes early will not settle wants to play.

First nap around 2 hours after WU for 45 mins - usually around 8am

Next nap around 2 hours and 15 minutes or so after last nap ended. Usually around 11am for 45 mins

Next nap around 2 1/2 hours after that nap ended - maybe around 2pm, here he can sometimes sleep for 90 minutes but he still wakes after 45 mins and has to be put to sleep.

If sleeps for 90 mins wakes around 3.30/4pm then we do bedtime around 6.30pm 3 hours after last WU
If sleeps for 45 mins until about 2.45 then we have another catnap and bedtime around 7.30pm

Then he wakes 45 mins after bedtime and 45 mins after that then he is quiet until 9.30pm when he needs a feed. He has his usual 3oz and then sleeps till 12. Between 12 and 2 he is awake constantly screaming. He looks asleep but he is obviously screaming and crying. He does this every 10 mins until 2am when he can he finally wakes himself up from screaming he has food and isn’t now wide awake for 1 hour. He won’t stay along anywhere at the moment and won’t lie in bed, so I have to take him downstairs.

3am he goes back to sleep after another feed and then he wakes at 5.30 for the day.

I am ready to just jump out the window by 2am every night.

So I feel like I have multiple problems.

He eats too little how on earth is he supposed to sleep for more than 3 hours if that? As he gets bigger his body needs food. On the off occasion that he has drunk 4oz in one go, he has thrown up afterwards.

He has a dummy and doesn’t sleep without it.

He used to go to sleep on his own in his bed, with dummy but now as soon as I stand up he is hysterical (he also cries now when daddy says bye to go to work and when his nanny comes, so I’m sure we’re seeing the first signs of separation anxiety). Now he will not settle with his dummy, with me patting, shushing, gently jiggling him. He stops crying and starts laughing when I pick him up. As soon as I put down the screaming starts. Once he has been crying for a certain time period PU does not make him stop and he still doesn’t go to sleep.

Tried CIO result was vomit everywhere and baby not sleeping after 2 1/2 hrs. I tried PU/PD and Gradual Retreat but he doesn’t go to sleep so I still have to intervene. I mean I would think he would just pass out from exhaustion right? But alas he doesn’t. As soon as I picked him up then though he’d fall asleep put down scream.

So now I am at my wits end. I don’t know which sleep training method to try even anymore because nothing results in him actually going to sleep. It just all seems to make him upset and the more he cries at bedtime the more he wakes during the night. And he wake with in the same hysterical state he was in before he went to sleep.

Oh and even co/sleeping does not make him sleep any better. It’s like sth is keeping him up at night. He’s constantly rubbing his feet together even in his sleep.

Open for any ideas from anyone at the point.

Jess x
Sorry for spelling mistakes, typing on phone and I can’t even see the text because the box doesn’t move.

[Jessjess]

Ok so here is what we have today so far...

WU: 5.50am - A 2hrs
S 7.50 - 10m
WU 8 - needed loads of patting to resettle
S 8.15 - 45ms
WU 9
PD 11 - A 2 hrs
still fussing and crying at 11.40 ended up taking him downstairs in bouncer
S 12.20 Actual A now 3:20
WU 1.45 - 90 mins
PD 3.45 - A 2 hrs
S 4.00 -
WU - 4.47

was Aiming for bedtime around now but he doesn't seem tired at all, no slowing down in wriggling like normally.. so I'm going to wait another 10/15 and then see how he looks.

[Jessjess]

Last night was a disaster again. I think it's definitely the porridge, I'm going to give food a break I think and give his tummy a chance to recover. And then start introducing foods again one by one.

Fell asleep at 7.30pm
NW: 8.30, 10.35, awake until 12.30am, restless sleep with groaning and farting, 2.30, 3.30, 4.30

(He is with his nanny today, although I work from home, so I'm going to keep adding to this one, so I don't forget)

8. February:
WU at 5.10am. - A 2hrs
S: 7.05 - 40 mins (Bouncer)
WU: 7.45 - A 2hrs
S: 9.45 - 45mins (Bed)
WU: 10.30 A- 1hr
S: 11.30 (fell asleep in pram) - 1hr
WU 12.30
S: 3.00 A 2hr 30
WU: 4 - very upset - 1hr
S: 6pm
NW: 7.00 (up for 30mins unsettled), 10.00 unsettled 12-2pm but not properly awake, 3.00, 4.00

 
WU: 5.05 - A 2hrs
S: 7.05 - 45 mins
WU: 7.45
S: 10.00


More coming as we go

[becj86]

Hi sweetie, you sound exhausted, hugs xx

I just wrote a whole post out and then lost it. I will be back, just have to get the kid off to school first.

[becj86]

Alrighty, I'll try again.

First off, generally a child is not waking 12+ times per night unless there's some pain or discomfort involved - is he on any reflux meds? If so, when was the dosage last checked? Any rash or other skin conditions?

Having said that, I do think there are some things we can do to help him sleep better. At 6mo, average A times are 2:45-3hr and most babies are at least moving towards dropping the nap - alert sprited babies are often already on 2 naps with 3hr A times. This is probably why he's protesting when you pop him into bed for a nap at 2-2:15 A time and why he's only napping an undertired nap of 45min. Lots of these short naps can lead to OT at BT, so that's probably part of why he's crying so much at bedtime. It appears from what you've written that he *can* sleep 1hr at times, so from that I surmise he can transition from one sleep cycle to the next but mainly towards the end of the day when he's tired enough.

I think if you stick with a routine like this for 3-4 day at least, note the actual EAS and we can tweak from that:
WU
A=2:45-3hr
nap
A=2:45-3hr (can do 2:30 if short nap)
nap
A=2:45-3hr (can do 2:30 if short nap)
BT (or catnap of ~30mins followed by 1:45-2hr A to BT if you need to lengthen the day)
Ideally, you're shooting for a day of 12-13hr and a night of 11-12hr.

With respect to feeding a reflux baby, they just do need to be fed more often if they can't eat a large milk meal as other babies can. We advise against feeding to sleep but if he's not able to take more than 3oz at a time, he clearly needs to be fed more often in a 24hr period so he can get enough food in to grow and not be hungry. Whilst you are not offering solid food, maybe trying feeding another milk feed when you'd offer solids (generally an hour after the main milk feed when he wakes). There are some great tips on the FAQ section of this board: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=13.0. You are also welcome to post there for more reflux-specific info.

WRT CIO - we don't support that here. No judgement, you were likely at the end of your tether but we won't suggest it to you, nor will we support you through doing CIO. We will suggest more gentle sleep training methods in which you *teach* your baby how to relax into sleep. For now, I'd suggest using shush/pat in combination with those much longer A times I described above and see how you go with that. It may annoy him, so have a play around with what works. The idea is to provide two things for LO to concentrate on, physical touch and audio so they can relax. If that means holding your hand on LO's chest whilst singing a song, that's fine.

That's a fair bit of info, perhaps start with that and we can keep working through things along the way.