Author Topic: Please help... sleep getting worse  (Read 1612 times)

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Offline Beasmamma

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Please help... sleep getting worse
« on: March 04, 2018, 07:43:54 am »
Hello

I’m looking for some help please. My daughter is 18 weeks old and we have been doing shh pat for 2.5 weeks. It was working quite well and I felt that we had been making progress in terms of how much patting and shhing we would have to do before she would go to sleep however in the last couple of days she has been much more difficult to settle and resettle.  We have also hit the 4 month sleep regression so she is waking up every couple of hours. She also cries as soon as I put her in her sleeping bag and will not relax when I hold her into me, I always have to shh pat in the crib. Would anyone be able to give me any advice please?

Thank you!

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Re: Please help... sleep getting worse
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2018, 11:22:31 am »
Hello and welcome to BW forums :)

It could be that your LO is ready for a slightly longer A time now that she is a little older. The A times between 4 and 6 months increase more rapidly than some of us a prepared for.  Could you record your EAS times and post them exactly how they happen in a day please? We could have a look for you.  If you could start with WU and work through the day something like:
WU 7am
E 7am
A 1.5hr
S 8.30am - 9.10 (then add a note if needed, eg tried for S at 8am but she refused and fussed until S at 8.30. tried to resettle at 9.10 but didn't go back to sleep
E 10am
A 1hr 30
S 10.40 - 12.40
...etc through the day to
BT bed time
DF/NF (dream feed or night feeds at what times)
NWs (night waking not for hunger)

We have also hit the 4 month sleep regression so she is waking up every couple of hours.
I assume you mean at night she is waking every couple of hours as 2hr in the day would be a good nap.  She might be having a growth spurt, I would check for hunger and feed if needed. Growth spurts can make LO surprisingly hungry, it's amazing just how much they can eat.

She also cries as soon as I put her in her sleeping bag and will not relax when I hold her into me
When she doesn't relax being held do you try putting her in the crib? Does she seem happier to be put down in the crib and shush/patted there or is she very unhappy about being put in the crib?


Offline Beasmamma

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Re: Please help... sleep getting worse
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2018, 12:15:31 pm »
Thank you for responding.

I am trying to schedule it so that she has 2 hours A time before putting her down for her next nap. Day looks like this:

WU: 6:30-7am If she wakes up before 7 I try and shh pat her back to sleep however this never really works. When she wakes before 7 she cries, so I think she must need more sleep?
E: 7am
A
S: 9am but if she woke up before then it would be 2 hours after that, so if she woke at 6:30 then her S time would be 8:30.  She usually sleeps for an hour and a quarter to an hour and a half for this nap (although she sleeps for 30-45 mins and I have to shh pat in between which usually is very quick). After this I try and shh pat so that she has 2 hours but if she goes back to sleep it’s usually for about 10 minutes or so.
E: Between 10:30 - 11:00. I’ve been trying to extend her E time out to 11. Some days she is okay with this and other days I have to feed her earlier.
A
S: 12:30 - 14.30. Again this is made up of 30-45 min blocks and I have to shh pat her when she goes from one cycle to another. Somedays, like yesterday she will only sleep to 13:45 and I will be unable to get her back to sleep again.
E: 14:40 but if she wakes at say 13:45 I would feed her at about 14:20 instead
A
S: 16:30 but if she wakes at 13:40 then S would be at 16:00. This nap is about 30 a 40 minutes long.
E: 17.00
We start her bedtime routine at 18:15
E: 18:30
BT: 19:00 however sometimes she will not go to sleep until 19:30
NW: Between 21:30 - 22
DF: 23:00
NW: Between 02:45 - 03:00. I feed her at this waking and she takes a full feed.
NW: 04:30
NW: 05:30
She will then wake between 06:30 and 7
I have tried feeding her at the later wakings but she doesn’t seem hungry so now I do not. For the ones at 04:30 and 05:30 I can usually just shh and put my hand on her chest and she will then go back to sleep.

She cries when I hold her into me and she also cries when I put her in the crib. However I usually have more success shh patting in her crib then I do over my shoulder. Sometimes I can put her in calm but then she will start crying after a few seconds.

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Re: Please help... sleep getting worse
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2018, 19:15:01 pm »
I'm wondering if the multiple night waking in the early hours could be OT related.  That last A time looks too long for her age. If she is usually having a 2hr A time then you would need the last A time to be no more than this, and often if needs to be less because LO is only having a CN rather than a full nap, so may need to sleep before the full A time.
I would try to bring BT earlier so that you definitely do not go over 2hrs.  At the moment it looks like it might be 2hr 30 min, this can also be why she fusses and resists BT.
I would probably start the wind down at 1hr 15 - 1hr 30 aiming for her to be asleep no later than 2hr from the nap (or even at 1hr 30).
What do you think?

Is it possible she is hungry at that first NW at 9.30/10pm?  Do you ever try a feed there?  That's a relatively normal time for the DF so I wonder if you fed her she might settle down faster?
LOs generally only do one longer stretch between E, at the moment you are getting the longer stretch from 6.30pm to 11pm when instead you might be able to get a stretch from 9.30/10 to 2/2.30 and then a second NF at 5am ish to get her right through to morning (ie 7am).  Obviously do the feeds when you feel it is most suitable for your LO, I'm just mentioning in case it helps.


Offline Beasmamma

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Re: Please help... sleep getting worse
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2018, 18:53:11 pm »
Hello,

Thank you for the help. The suggestion about the CN for her last nap was a good one. I have changed her naps slightly so she has about 1hr 45 A time rather than 2 hours and tried to extend the last nap so that she is less likely to be OT by BT.  This seems to have helped. She self settled at BT the night before last and last night I only had to shh (no pat) so I think we are making progress.

For the night wakings - I realised that I was guilty of rushing in, easy done when they are right next to you but I have found that she can settle herself and we are now down to about 3 NW where I am still feeding her at 4am so that’s really encouraging.

Feeling much less exhausted now!  :)

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Re: Please help... sleep getting worse
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2018, 08:44:16 am »
Great update :)
Glad things re improving and you are feeling better.