4 month old rarely naps longer than half an hour

[CherryBlossomGirl]

Please help me with my 20 week old daughter. Her sleep has been a major issue since 5 weeks old when she started fighting daytime naps. I realised that she was getting massively overtired and started rocking her to sleep in my arms with a dummy to get her to sleep in the day. Night time she self settles and sometimes sleeps through to 4/5am for a milk feed. I recently got rid of the dummy at night as she was waking for this and she now usually resettles herself if she wakes during the night. Usually sleeps 12 hours with a short feed.
Daytime sleep has always been tricky and I feel like I can’t get it right. I’ve tried putting her in her cot but it takes so long to settle her that it takes longer than she stays asleep for. She hardly ever sleeps longer than 30 mins and there seems to be no reason when she does. She has also started refusing naps. I used to stick to 1.5 hours awake time but this has become more difficult this last week.

Today looked like this:

A 6.30- 8.20
E 8.00
S 8.20 - 9.00

A 9.00 - 11.45
E 10.00
S11.45 - 12-05

A 12.05 - 1.15
E 12.45
S 1.15 - 2.00

A 2.00 - 2.30
S 2.30 - 3.00

A 3.00 - 4.50
E 4.30
S 4.50 - 5.15

Milk/bed 6.45 (actually asleep time)


I know it’s all over the place so please be kind but I was out visiting potential childminders today so she slept lots in the car but This is a typical day anyway. I know I should settle her in her cot but she has so many naps that it would tie me to the house all day and I need to go out to do chores. Everyone keeps telling me that she should be having three naps of 2 hours apiece and I have no idea how to help her to do that. All my families children just did it by themselves and have told me my daughter should sleep like that too.

Any suggestions please and I can post another example day too.

[becj86]

Hi sweetie, welcome to BW.

First off, you are doing well - you have a 20w/o who sleeps well at night and you're working on naps in the day. Please don't beat yourself up. We can't all have angelic babies (the memory fades with time and sleep troubles tend to be forgotten by some) but we can all help our LOs get the sleep they need. We all have all-over-the-place days because we have to get on with life.

A times increase as LO grows, so 1.5hr would certainly not be working for your 4.5mo now where it would have worked better at 3mo. At 20 weeks, A times are more like 2:15-2:30, so its probably worth increasing to around that time (I'd say try 2:15 first and then consider increasing if necessary) and seeing how that goes. She's quite used to shorter A times so she may wake at 30mins and you may be able to resettle if you're there before she gets too worked up. I see a couple of 40-45min naps in there too which are classically from LO being undertired. Often is UT, babies will fight sleep, so that might be why you've had to employ so much rocking, etc. to get her off to sleep.

[CherryBlossomGirl]

Thanks bec.
I tried a longer awake time and seemed ok yesterday and got longer naps but today went to pot. I’ll put the times below but I’ll leave off eating as I need to get the naps sorted before getting in a routine with milk.

Yesterday:
A 6.20 ( I tried to resettle and dozed myself so think she might have had a 10 min nap after this point and I left hr in her cot until 7 so there was very little stimulation
S 9.00-9.52

A 9.52- 11.55 (showed tired signs before nap)
S 11.55-1.20

A 1.20- 3.50 (showed tired signs around 3.30 but had to leave friends house and get in car)
S 3.50- 4.20

Bed asleep - 6.45

Slept really well overnight and woke at 4am for milk.

Today
A - 6.45
S - 8.55- 9.28

A 9.28- 10.50
S 10.50- 11.05 (car nap)

A 11.05-12.40
S 12.40- 1.16

A 1.16-3.45 (lots of eye rubbing from 2.15 but out and wouldn’t settle in pram)
S 3.45 -4.10

A 4.10 very tired eye rubbing but wouldn’t settle for another nap so started bedtime early.
Bed asleep 6.20


Everything that id read suggested that 1.5 awake time was appropriate for a almost 5 month old. I think 2.5 hours might be too long.
I resettled her yesterday for the first two naps after 20 and 40 mins and she continued the nap. I tried to resettle today but she was happy awake. Also her daily total sleep has been 14 hours for the last few weeks which is apparently not enough for her age. I can’t seem to make this any longer. 😑

Why did yesterday work so much better? Please help! Thank you.

[becj86]

A 6.20 ( I tried to resettle and dozed myself so think she might have had a 10 min nap after this point and I left hr in her cot until 7 so there was very little stimulationS 9.00-9.52

So I'd have called this A time starting at 7am given she didn't start her day until then. You did get an UT nap there, so could've maybe gone to 9:15 for naptime.

A 9.52- 11.55 (showed tired signs before nap)S 11.55-1.20

So here, a pretty good nap after 2hr A time off a short nap.

A 1.20- 3.50 (showed tired signs around 3.30 but had to leave friends house and get in car)S 3.50- 4.20

And here, an OT nap as probably expected.

A - 6.45S - 8.55- 9.28

I think given she was happy when she woke from this nap and you couldn't resettle, its unlikely to be OT.

A 9.28- 10.50S 10.50- 11.05 (car nap)A 11.05-12.40S 12.40- 1.16

So car naps can really mess with a day especially when they're in the middle of A time - if you have the flexibility, it might be good to try to go out as soon as she wakes so she either extends a short nap or can stay awake OR be ready to pop her into the car to leave at 2:15 A time and see if you can transfer her when you get home so she can continue her nap.

Everything that id read suggested that 1.5 awake time was appropriate for a almost 5 month old.

I'm not sure where you've read this - I've literally never read this anywhere and never met a baby this age who does well with it. 2.5hr may well be too long, its the higher end of the normal range and not every baby will do that. 2:15 is pretty typical though.

Also her daily total sleep has been 14 hours for the last few weeks which is apparently not enough for her age.

Not everybody will sleep the average amount, though she could certainly sleep more in the day. We tend not to remove NWs from sleep totals either, so if she was asleep or feeding for 12hr overnight, that's 12hr in the 24 already, then you just add naps on top. If you're getting total sleep requirements from the same place you're getting average awake times, they might not fit what I'm saying given I'm suggesting she be awake for significantly longer than 1.5hr at a time.

Why did yesterday work so much better?

Honestly, I think the car nap probably threw your day out. If you'd had a longer second nap after a longer A time, I think it probably would have been similar to the previous day.