2.5 and DOESN'T SLEEP Anymore

[kristeno]

My daughter is 2.5 (3 in August) and does not sleep. We've done EASY with her since she was 4 months old, but had to retrain with every development. Unfortunately, everything has just fallen apart. She refuses naps now, takes anywhere from 30-90 to fall asleep at night & wakes every night 1-3 times. When she wakes, usually, my husband just stays with her through the night because she wakes up & cries everytime he leaves the room. We can't switch off & on because we also have a 10 week old son, who wakes 3 times a night too. I'm pretty sure she still needs a nap because she gets glassy eyed around naptime, cranky in the afternoon & dark circles by 5, but I can't find the right balance for her. Do we let her cut the nap & go to bed early, but then she should wake early too? Or try the nap, new routine? Toddler sleeping is sooo different to me. Obviously, we're all exhausted & I can't spend hours trying to get her to sleep at naptime because I'm trying to teach my son to sleep too.

Here's what we're working with now:

930: WU (I want it to be earlier, we're just so exhausted from the waking all night)
330: Supposed to be nap - never happens, but if it did, I would cap at 1.5 hrs. She would sleep 2 if I let her - when she DOES nap. (I generally just adjust the nap time to 6 hrs after she woke up)
9/930: Routine: Bath, Jammies, Book & milk, Brush teeth, Bed
930/10: BT (I usually adjust it to about 4 hrs after she wakes from nap)
1030-1130: Falls asleep somewhere in there.

Our goals for her are:
1. Go to sleep on her own, without mom & dad helping or staying with her until she's asleep.
2. Take a nap during the day.
3. Wake & Sleep @ 730AM & 730PM. This one is a little flexible because I'm not sure what she needs in a routine or really, what time frame would work best for her.

I'm honestly lost on what she needs. We're willing to set alarms & wake her at 730/8 AM to make sure she's on track.

[Haribo2012]

Hi there it’s all very tiring when sleep messes up and you have a newborn to content with.

At this age you are heading into the 1-0 nap transition and it’s common for lots to start refusing naps...mr DS2 is 28 months and mostly refuses these days.

Realistically at this age unless you think LO is high sleep needs I don’t think you will get a 12 hour night when you have a nap of 1.5 hours. Most not all need a 13 hour day at least which is roughly what your getting with a long nap, but also if NW start to happen it can be from being UT and day robbing from night.
It could also be that she needs a little more of you since having a new addition to the family, the NW could be reassurance.

I’d try cutting the nap to 45 mins first and a 13 hour day with some GW at BT and NW but if that doesn’t work do a 20 min nap and keep day to max 12/12.5 hours long.

They do also get developmental spurts every half birthday and birthday so some of that could be causing upset. x

[kristeno]

Thanks for the response! You think if we make those changes, she'll go to bed more easily? Last night, she was exhausted from playing all day & it took my husband 2 hours to put her to sleep because she completely refuses. Not in a tantrum sort of way, but rolling around & playing in her bed.

[Haribo2012]

You can only try hun, often the excessive rolling around etc can be a sign of OT x