Author Topic: 2-1 woes  (Read 1132 times)

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Offline eva026

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2-1 woes
« on: June 01, 2018, 18:23:32 pm »
The title says it all... I canít fit 2 naps in and keep a decent BT.
Her A is now 4.15h Iím slowly pushing it out as we have been having ew that I need to resettle every day. Although not sure if thatís because I need an A bump or because the cn brings us too close to BT.

Nf 1.30am, 5am
Ew 6am - resettled
7.30am WU
11.45 s
13.30 WU
5.15 cn
5.45 WU
BT 8.15 with lots of crying and apop

I can shift BT to 8.30 but that cuts time with dd1. I usually sit her at the tv while I put the baby to sleep then at 8 we have some time together and sheís in bed by 8.30 for s book and asleep by 9.
With the baby going to bed at 8.30 she gets no mommy time.
Any idea what to do? Waking her early is also a problem because she has started nursery and canít sleep there so I pick her up at 11.30 when I get in from work. .
I canít see a solution to the later BT besides explaining to DD1 that it wonít last long and ride it out. But what do you think the ew is from?





Offline eva026

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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2018, 18:30:15 pm »
Oh, and sheís 11mo on the 10th





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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2018, 07:12:28 am »
I think explaining to DD1 that the usual evening routine might be disturbed for a month would be a good idea.  She's old enough to understand the idea of LO now needing something that she already got when she was that age, a different routine which messes things up for a little while. Maybe try to find a time you can spend with her a bit earlier on before you try to put DD2 down for the night? Even though it's not 1:1 time it might help?
Maybe also explain that once the CN is dropped DD2 will likely go to bed earlier which will give you extra time with DD!?

Have you tried going without the CN yet?
Or a shorter CN of say 15 min?

The waking and needing to be resettled sounds like a bit of OT to me although tbh I can't really say where I think it's coming from other than just the need to drop the CN and link that sleep with her long nap and night instead of having it broken.   It may be possible to drop the CN on 4.5hr A if you can get a 2hr nap and 11hr night.


Offline eva026

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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2018, 09:48:42 am »
Iíll have a chat with DD1 today. Do you think a month is enough to drop the cn? Itís hard to find time for her with the baby around. Iím by myself most evenings so after preschool itís just a juggle to make dinner, bath both and get them in bed at a decent time, all with a baby hanging off me. DD2 is very clingy.
We went without the cn on the zoo day and she was fine. Tried for a ebt but she only fell asleep at her usual time.
Last night she slept badly and Iíve just put her down at 4hA.
What you said has got me thinking, maybe sheís been waking from OT and Iím making it worse by expecting her to last 4.5h in the morning?

You say one nap is possible on a 4.5a eg:
7.30 WU
12-2 nap
Then what? Because for a 12h night thatís an a of 5.5h till BT.
 
Hate these nap drops.
« Last Edit: June 02, 2018, 09:50:58 am by eva026 »





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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2018, 07:20:56 am »
No it could be an 11hr night initially and possibly extending, it's possible to get 13hr overnight for a time.  Some increase night length as soon as day sleep is reduced but some don't.  Then again, some increase the nap to 3hrs.  Or drop the CN see how long the night is and if there are too many hours available the next day put a small CN back in for one day.

I'm not really familiar with longer first A leading to night time OT causing EW, not heard of that. Is that something you are familiar with from the boards or DD1 perhaps?

I think most of the 2-1 nap drops take around a month, possibly 2 if you could from the first signs.


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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2018, 11:15:35 am »
Honestly, I canít remember DD1 from this time at all. I remember her dropping the nap at 2,9 months but nothing at all from 6-12 months
Today went pretty well she had a NF at 6am then slept till 7.40. I woke her from her cn after 20 min yesterday and she was irritable and mad till BT.
A month or two... I guess we can ride it it out. So thatís a push of 15 min a month till we get to 4.45-5h
Iím at 4.20a for the morning at the moment and sheís sleeping over 2h for her nap now. Will try a no nap day today and see how we go.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2018, 11:49:45 am by eva026 »





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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2018, 10:19:40 am »
Yesterday worked great. She did a 2.5h nap and an ebt of 7.25pm, woke at 7am today but I cuddled her and she slept till 8. Nursery 9-12 today and I figured it works perfectly because I do a nap 12.45-3 and an ebt again but nursery foiled my plan. She was crying lots so they put her to sleep at 10.45-11.30.... now Iím in a pickle with nap 2 because I have DD1 to pick up at 4.





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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2018, 18:06:12 pm »
Yesterday worked great. She did a 2.5h nap and an ebt of 7.25pm, woke at 7am today but I cuddled her and she slept till 8.
Brilliant!

She was crying lots so they put her to sleep at 10.45-11.30.... now Iím in a pickle with nap 2 because I have DD1 to pick up at 4.
Oh dear, not good.

Hope you managed okay somehow.  Tomorrow is another day x


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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2018, 06:11:41 am »
It was ok, I apoped a 1.5h nap and her final A was 5h. Then we got 3 nw from 10-11pm. Nursery again today so things are out of my hands.





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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2018, 17:58:16 pm »
Not as bad as it could have been then, you did well to AP a decent nap :)


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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #10 on: June 09, 2018, 06:24:11 am »
Im a bit stuck. Iíve asked them not to put her to sleep unless she starts crying. Looks like she starts crying at 10.30 every day so they put her down for a 30-40min nap. Then 3h later I apop a nap and BT 4.30h later.
We have started getting long chatty nw.
I canít really ask them to torture her and not put her down when sheís crying, although I suspect itís not that sheís tired because she hasnít done a 3h morning A for 6 months, but maybe... itís only her 2nd week of nursery. Do I cap the 2nd long nap? Thinking to do 1 nap at weekends.
How do you drop to 1 nap if the first one is the cn? With it the other way around you move the nap slowly to the desired time and keep shortening the cn. This way Iím not sure





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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #11 on: June 09, 2018, 18:22:26 pm »
How do you drop to 1 nap if the first one is the cn? With it the other way around you move the nap slowly to the desired time and keep shortening the cn. This way Iím not sure
You reduce the first nap in length and bring nap 2 earlier. It's basically the same thing but the other way around, so the long nap moves earlier and eventually the CN is so short it drops.  I imagine it's hard to ask nursery to cap that CN though?

Would she CN even earlier perhaps, so although I know she hasn't had such a short A time in 6 months maybe if they can get her to sleep as soon as she looks tired instead of waiting until she's upset they could cap it at 20 min and if that went well then cap it shorter at a later date?


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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #12 on: June 10, 2018, 18:33:07 pm »
Ok that makes sense.
Ill ask about capping the nap tomorrow. I doubt they can put her down earlier, itís 10.30 most days and she wakes at 7.30-8. Breakfast is 9-9.30 and then they have some activities. How theyíll get her to sleep after 2h A I donít know. Honestly I think itís OS rather than being tired when they put her down but there is literally nothing I can do about that. Just a bit irritated because we had such a good routine going, heading towards one nap and great night.... now thatís all a mess and we either get Nw or I canít get get down at BT. Donít know how I can move her towards one nap when I have little control over her mornings.





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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #13 on: June 11, 2018, 09:09:28 am »
You might just have to go with the messiness for a bit. It might not be long, a month or so and then one day she'll just be able to drop the CN. Adjusting to nursery is part of it too isn't it? As you said the additional stimulation.
You'll have to just keep reminding yourself this is a temporary thing and will work out okay in the end!

Maybe what you said earlier, about capping the second nap?? Perhaps that could help with BT? I suppose I always look to keep one nice long nap to make sure the OT doesn't build up and to try to retain the habit of sleeping longer but if things are hard for you maybe this is the way to go for the short term.


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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #14 on: July 16, 2018, 06:09:50 am »
Just popping on with an update and some questions. I managed to persuade nursery not to put her down for a nap, and now that sheís started enjoying her time there and not screaming half the time, they are ok with it. So we are officially on one nap as of a week. You donít cap the nap at this stage, right? Even if it goes crazy long? Iím not sure if sheís a bit OT because one nap is new or ut because sheís getting lots of day sleep.
These have been our last few days:
Day1 WU 7.30, nap 12 - 3, BT 8pm
Day 2 WU 7.30, nap 12.15-3, BT 8pm took ages to get her down
Day 3 WU 6.00 (whaat?) nap 11-3, BT 8pm took ages
Day 4, WU 7am, nap 11-2, cn 5-5.30 BT 8.30 took ages
Today woke at 7.30
 
What do you think? Why is BT a problem all of a sudden? And these ew? 7 Iím not extatic about but 6 is too early.





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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #15 on: July 16, 2018, 08:22:16 am »
Usually we don't cap naps when they go to one nap (not until much much later/older) and a 3hr nap is fine "by the book" but if it is causing problems longer term then perhaps it would need something changing a little. As it is so new I'd leave it long and see what happens.
Often set nap and BT works better once they are 1yo and on one nap so rather than working on A times move to a set nap time.
You can kind of guess when to put it, maybe 11.30, maybe 12?
Did she really need a CN that day? (day 4)  I wonder if an earlier BT at 7pm might have been an option as she'd had a good 3hr nap.

It does take time to settle into one nap so I think go with the flow a little, maybe set nap time but don't change things up too much trying to "fix" the WU and BT if that makes sense.


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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #16 on: July 16, 2018, 09:04:46 am »
Ok, so even if we get a ew keep the nap 11.30-12.30 ish?
I did the cn as I wasnít sure if I wasnít dealing with ot and that was the reason for the ew. Canít remember this stage with DD1 at all.





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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #17 on: July 17, 2018, 18:05:49 pm »
Ok, so even if we get a ew keep the nap 11.30-12.30 ish?
For now I would set at 11.30 or 12 to start the nap and perhaps not cap it.
It's really early days.  If the EW continues look at night length and nap length overall and see if nap needs to be later to encourage longer night or if the nap goes short then the later time would hopefully make it longer, to avoid OT.
I think you probably need to wait a week to see what's happening before you can move anything.
But obviously it's your call, you're there and have a better idea of what's needed.


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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #18 on: July 18, 2018, 06:37:25 am »
Ok, clear
But ebt if her nap is short, right?
Yesterday she woke 7.45, nap 12 for 1.5h so I put her to bed at 7.15, had to wake her at 8 this morning.





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Re: 2-1 woes
« Reply #19 on: July 19, 2018, 20:47:56 pm »
Yes, maybe even earlier than 7pm  Perhaps 6.30 or even 6 if it's short?