13 month old naps gone wonky. need help!

[Toddlerfun1]

Hi,

I have a 13 month old DD who has always been tricky around the sleeping skill! She is a touchy baby and very alert. She doesn’t show sleep signs or mixes them up ( ie rubbing her eyes or yawning or cranky at weird times). I was thinking she was transitioning to one nap a few weeks ago since she could stay up longer so I got her to 11am before giving her a nap. She would sleep for 2 hours and then start getting really cranky at 5PM so I would lay her down at 5:30 but she woke multiple times in the evening and was waking up at 5:40 in the morning.

So then I followed a different routine. Sleep at 10:30 and 4:00ish/4:30 and that worked for a few days but then she wouldn’t sleep for second nap. And she was waking earlier. So in the past week I have tried multiple things but it hasn’t been very consistent . I have tried 9:30 and 1:00 and she sleep for 3.5 hours total but that was after a bad night of waking. We couldn’t do that the next few days because DD1 has many appointments in the morning at that time each day so I pushed her out to a 1\2 nap at 10 and 1.5 hr nap at 2 and the next day 1/2 hr nap at 10:30 and 1.5 hr nap at 2:30. The good thing was she was sleeping in until 7am. Right around this time SA kicked in as well so she was resistant to us leaving her at bedtime and second nap and she wouldn’t constantly keep sitting up.

So then I tried one nap at 11:45 but she only slept for an hour and was a rough evening. Maybe it was because it was such a jump from 10:30. The next day I saw her rubbing her eyes a lot at 10:15 while we were driving so I decided I would try two naps again maybe in case she was overtired from day before but then she slept 1/2 hr that day because I woke her at 11am and she resisted second nap at 2pm.

Today I am back at one nap. I know. I know. Not consistent . I put her down at 11:15 and she resisted that one. I think she was OT because she was acting loopy while I did pre bed routine.

Lately routine is:
6:50 w
10:30-11 nap
2/2:30-3:30 nap
7:15 BT

6:50 W
11:15/11:30 s
12:15 W
5:30 BT

Please Help me figure out a routine for DD. I am going crazy in my mind trying to figure out a plan!

[creations]

Hello and welcome to BW forums

Sorry to see you didn't get a reply yet. This post will give you a bump and hopefully you will get some support soon.

[Buntybear]

So what is the absolute latest you think you could get away with a morning nap?  11am? You could go as late as you think and could could you then APOP a very short cat nap in the afternoon around 5ish to get her through until bed time? You could try and early cat nap and then a longer nap later on in the day?

[Buntybear]

Here are some examples including mixing 1 and 2 nap days - we never di that so can't help on that I am afarid

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164033.0

[Toddlerfun1]

Hi,

Thanks for your thoughts and ideas! 11am is totally doable for her and I could try doing a catnap at 5pm but then what is her bedtime with the catnap being so late?

[Toddlerfun1]

Sorry but what does APOP stand for? I tried looking it up but the page wouldn’t open.

Also, I already looked st that link but that confused me so much because there is every combination in there starting even at 9:30 which seems so early considering I have been told by fellow BWers to keep pushing out her morning nap as she has been taking shorter and shorter naps. 6 months ago we were at 10:30 for her first nap so in my brain the next step would be a later nap time but I have tried 11 am, (I guess without a catnap at 5pm) and it resulted in NW and EW. And that was even with a bedtime at 5:30.

I find it weird that she can go from 6am-11am (5hrs) no problem at times but 1-5:30 (4.5) is too much A time. I have thought of putting her to bed at 5 pm but I don’t think that would do anything.

And I also find it weird because she is getting two hours with one nap whereas when I split up the naps currently she will have one 30 mins and one 1hr nap and there is less NW and mornings aren’t as early. However in the last few days despite the fact that it was working when I put her down at 10:30 and 3:30 each for an hour a week ago she is now only sleeping 45 mins at each time. Grrrr! Every time I think we found a new rythm she changes it. And I mean it changes every few days. And unfortunately like I said I don’t have clear signs when she might need earlier or later nap times.

[creations]

APOP = accidental parenting on purpose.  Basically using every trick in the book to get LO to sleep, so holding, rocking, bouncing, car, pram, whatever it takes. The idea of AP (accidental parenting) is what Tracy Hogg warned us against in her BW books, as habits build and we don't want bad habits and props, however doing it as a planned thing for a short nap can sometimes help in the short term when routines are changing.  The "bad habit" doesn't matter so much as the CN drops anyway and when it drops the bad habit drops with it.

[Toddlerfun1]

Oh thanks for that clarification!

There is no APOP for me since she won’t fall asleep anywhere except her crib although she has been almost asleep in my arms while she sucked her fingers and held her blanket.

Right now she is sick and teething so she is happy to sleep at 10 and 2 for 45 min to an hour. Not sure what I will do when she is well other than try a nap at 10/11am and 4/5pm if she isn’t showing any signs beforehand.

My DD1 was super easy with 2-1 transition. She went to 1 nap at 13 months and that was it. I didn’t realize I was so blessed with her.

[creations]

The 2-1 was difficult for me.  My DS was also non-APOP-able too. However, what you've described as almost falling asleep in your arms holding her blanket is the kind of thing that you might need to do to APOP.  For me, I found DS would kick up a huge fuss if I tried to take him to his cot but if I put loud pop music on in the living room and held him whilst dancing (quite vigorous bopping about and singing!) he would begin with a smile and laughing but eventually snuggle into me, I had to keep going and it was quite an exercise workout for me holding him and dancing for an hour!! Very hard work but I must have felt it was worth it to get him to sleep a bit.  I think that was when he was refusing his second nap but couldn't cope a full day on one nap only.
When he moved to just one nap that was also awful, he stopped taking his regular 2hr consistent nap he'd always done and started waking every 20 mins (clear OT) so I had to put him back to sleep numerous times which was also hard work. Finally I managed to do a W2S every 20 mins through the nap
instead of him waking I'd nip in at 19 min put a hand on him, say my key phrase, rock with my hand a bit and he'd transition through. I was only in there 2 mins.  then 19 min later I went back in to do it again.  the things we do for our LOs!!

Not sure when your ideal 1 nap time would be for you, you mentioned being out for appointments in the morning but could you possibly manage a 12 noon nap after a 7am WU?  That's 5hrs you thought she can manage.  If she does 2hr nap you either do BT at 6pm and hope fora longer night or push later and get possible NWs.