Cuddling to sleep

[stephn]

Hi All,

Any help would be appreciated. This is my first post.
I have a 16 month old boy and am 30 weeks pregnant with my second.
My toddler is a angel/textbook baby, a very happy chap and rarely cries.
My problem is that we still cuddle to sleep for naps and bedtime.
I don't mind really, it doesn't often take longer than about 10 mins for naps and 20 mins for bed (obviously there are occasional nights of longer).
We usually cuddle on my bed (not much room for a chair in his room) and he falls asleep in my arms, I then carry him through to his bed. He sleeps through the night and can settle himself back to sleep if he wakes.
We have recently moved house and I wanted to give him time to get used to his new room, which he has now.
We have also given him a bear to comfort him and bond with, but  I know we need to take the next steps soon.

As he is so good during the day and rarely upset, I cant bear the thought of him crying himself to sleep.
Frankly I'd probably happily cuddle him until he's 18!
But with a new baby on the way, I know he needs to be able to go sleep without the cuddles.
I would be so grateful for ways to make this a gentle transition.
I only have 10 weeks (ish)!!
Thanks in advance x

[creations]

Hi there

To be honest I'm not sure I would change much.  When a second LO comes into the mix the first LO needs lots of attention and cuddles and reassurance that they are still as important as they were before and allocating some special mummy (or daddy) time to LO1 is probably even more important than it was when they were the only child.  The new LO will need heaps of time and attention and really 10-20 mins of BT dedicated to LO1isn't so much to put aside for him.
I can understand that starting in one room and carrying him to another to put him down may become increasingly harder as he gets bigger, heavier, and perhaps will be too much after giving birth too...so perhaps change this up to get it all happening in his room, perhaps cuddling on his bed so you can just lay him down right there, and gradually shift so that he gets a really good cuddle and then is awake enough to be helpful with the physical moving and laying down.  Perhaps you can lay on his bed with him?

If he was waking and unable to self settle in the night I'd probably be thinking differently but it seems it is only the10-20 mins of wind down and falling to sleep that is the issue and to be honest most kids would have 10-20 mins of wind down for sleep even if they are independent sleepers.  As a LO gets older the 10-20 mins might change from cuddles and nodding off to reading a bed time story, but it is all still paving the way to relaxed sleep full of love and happiness, it is setting the scene for sleep.

My own LO is 7yo now.  When he was a baby and toddler he was never cuddled to sleep, he had a cuddle and song and then into his bed, it was pretty fast as he didn't like a long wind down. But when he was 4yo I moved him from his small toddler bed to a double bed - big enough for us both to snuggle in and read at bed time.  Now we snuggle for 10-20 mins with a book, then when the light goes off he has his regular night time song and a cuddle in bed.  He never ever falls asleep, he is fully awake (awake enough to take his pjs off by himself after the song so he can sleep in just shorts) but the time we have together is precious.  I honestly never thought we would progress from cuddles on a chair to me actually getting into bed with him, but it's lovely.

I think if you wanted to shift the routine into yourLO1s room I would begin by talking it through during A time when sleep is not about to happen. I would talk about it and then invite him to the room to demonstrate how it will happen, describing all the time how you will cuddle him and be there with him.  Make it a nice experience but let him process it a bit before the actual sleep time begins.

hope this helps