5:30 EW - 21 months - routine change needed?

[JCN]

I posted a while ago about a very similar issue but looking for some more advice.
*edit* this most has ended up pretty lengthy.... sorry! Please still read and advise!

A bit of current context-
My LB is 21.5month. He has been in a toddler bed for about a month and transitioned into his new ‘big boy’ room a couple of weeks ago. We’ve made the decision to do this as I’m 6 months  pregnant and wanted to move him to allow for any unsettledness to die down before baby comes - however, he has coped very well and after a week of NWs (which also may have clashed with some illness and a language leap) he’s now relatively ok and is STTN again most nights.

My problem is, at the moment, an EW of anywhere between 5:15 & 5:45am. Averaging around 5:30. It’s worth mentioning that this had started happening just before his move into a toddler bed, so I’m not convinced it’s part of his transition. His room is entirely blacked  out - he has a gro black out blind in the window and black out curtains, and always has done. He still has white noise playing as a ‘bed time’ trigger and this is always on when he EWs.

He is definitely wide awake at this time - he’s not grumpy or showing signs of needing to go back to sleep. We have a gro clock, that he’s just beginning to understand but not really enough. He gets out of bed and shouts for me - when I tell him to go back to bed and lie down/night night/wait for the sunshine, he does so without fussing. But he absolutely will not stay in bed. The second I leave the room he is back up and at the door. If I lie on his bed with him, then he stays lying down but like I said is definitely wide awake - he plays with his comforter, sings songs to himself, tries to play peekaboo (which I ignore) and sometimes randomly sits up and says sunshine - referring to his gro clock. When 6:00 comes (which is our preferred get up time - set at this hour because of childcare and work arrangements) I make a really big deal out of the sunshine on the gro clock and saying good morning and getting straight up out of bed to start the day.

It seems like he just doesn’t need that extra 30-40mins sleep any more. So then I’m thinking perhaps a routine change? Our current routine is like this:

WU 5:30 (aiming for 6:00ish)

Nap: 12:45/13:00 for 1.5-2 hours
 I wake him at 3pm if he is still sleeping - which is quite often the case at home. He mostly settles ok for a nap by 13:00 at the latest, although sometimes doesn’t seem tired enough and wants to play lately. Nursery  struggle to get him to sleep before 13:15/30 - they say he wants to play with the other children, which is understandable.

BT 19:00 - he self settled and he always happy to go to bed. He doesn’t get up when left. He is always asleep within 10mins. Mostly STTN.

I don’t think his BT needs moving as he seems to be ready for sleep at that time. But perhaps his nap is too long and is taking up too much sleep?

[Conniesmummy]

Personally I’d reduce his nap to see if that helps. At this age we were averaging 1-1.5 hrs nap maximum. Totalling 12 hrs total sleep.
I hate to tell you but we’ve had various phases of ewu’s at almost 3yrs old. They’re even more gruelling once the nap is dropped 😳. Then she gets an early bedtime!!

[JCN]

Thanks - I had thought reducing the nap might be the first port of call... but at nursery he mostly averages 90mins (3 days a week) and this makes no difference to his night time sleep so I’m not sure.

I know that phases of EW are relatively normal and to be expected, probably for the foreseeable near future lol, I’m just wondering *if* a routine change is needed or not!

[Haribo2012]

Hi there is also huge language leap at this age so that might have something to with it.

You could ride it out for a couple of weeks see if anything changes or push the nap a little later and cut the nap a little and see if that helps. x

[JCN]

Thanks. What time is normal for a nap at this age? I could move it later to 1:30/2pm but then i’d Have to wake him by 3pm... which means i’d Also be cutting it short too? Is that too much?

Yes I’ve read a lot about the language leap too. But this has been happening for about 6 weeks now??

[Haribo2012]

At that age mine was doing 1-2.30pm max bit you could try 1.15-2.30pm?

So much goes on at this age I think it’s an ongoing battle x

[JCN]

It’s a minefield age isn’t it! Haha. His language is coming on all the time though so I just keep telling myself it’s that - and he was so delayed with language for months and I was somworried,  that I should be grateful really!! Haha.

I might try a nap shift though, as some days he does seem like he could go down a little later. Although I know at nursery they often struggle to get him to settle and he’ll regularly have 1hr10 -1hr30 there around the 1-1:30pm mark and it makes no difference. That’s 3 days a week. Is it worth me switching if there’s no impact when nursery do it? Or is there no impact because it’s not a daily consistent thing? I confuse myself sometimes!!!

Thanks,

[Haribo2012]

It’s tough isn’t it just trying to figure out what’s going on, DS1 for us was hard work nothing made any difference to EW I’m afraid he just was always awake and raring to go, DS2 is polar opposite, asks to go to bed at night, sleeps 12 hours and I’ve done the same for both!

It depends how his mood is really if he’s happy enough on shorter nap I’d prob try it and give it a week or 2 of same nap length see if things change x

[JCN]

He has always been an early riser and has never slept past 6! Don’t know where he gets it from!

[Haribo2012]

Blame Dad I always do 😂😂😉x

[JCN]

Right ladies, the EW has shifted from 5:30 to 5:00am now! 💤
*edit* this is a bit rambly and repetitive of what I’ve said before sorry - but I’m exhausted and desperate now!

He isn’t being disturbed by light or noise. His room is an ok temp, as much as it can be in the current heatwave - but by 5am it’s cooled down.

He has a gro clock which he doesn’t seem to understand, although I keep referring to it.

I’ve tried different approaches - repeatedly putting him back into bed as I would at BT or a NW, lying with him, after a certain point I’ve let him play...none of the above work for more than 5mins before we hit tantrums.

Knowing my own child, I can 99% sure say that he’s just ready to start the day - he’s not tired enough to go back to sleep once he’s awake. However, he does *look* a bit tired. And has started getting grumpy by mid morning and is now impossible to keep awake in the car/stroller beyond 10am.

But something has to be done! 5.30 I could deal with as we get up at 6 anyway so half an hour of putting him back or him crying etc I could just about deal with. But 5:00 is basically a NW!

Over the past few weeks, due to certain circumstances, we’ve ended up with a couple of days where his nap has been shortened to 1-1.5hrs rather than 1.5-2. He’s also had nights where he’s had a later bedtime of 7:30pm instead of 7pm. Neither of these ever made an impact on his WU time. Does it just need to be more consistent? Or does it indicate that nothing will help?

I feel like perhaps the logic is that his nap is now taking away from his night time sleep and this needs to be my first port of call to change - perhaps reduce it to 1 hour? But do I put him down later or just wake him earlier? At the minute he goes down at 1 and sleeps til 2:30/3pm (wake him by 3 if not awake) but he’s not always knackered by 1 and could go down later.

[Conniesmummy]

I’m no expert but I’d try shortening the nap. We always had a set nap around 12:30-1:00 regardless of length as this also fitted in with Nursery. We also kept set bedtime between 7-7:30. At least they can catch up ewu when they still nap. My dd has thrown in a couple of 5-5:30 wake ups since dropping the nap and then I try and give her 20 mins nap in the car at some point. Any more than 30 mins results in late bt 🙄
We are currently on a 5 hour car journey home from hols and she’s saying she’s tired. She didn’t wake up til 7:45 today but had a 5 am the day before with a brief resettle at 7-7:30 🙄
Really is a guessing game most days right now 🤦‍♀️

[JCN]

Thanks for all the advice.

We have kept the nap at his normal time (he doesn’t seem to be able to cope much longer) but shortened it  from 2hours to 1.5hours approx and have seen some small improvements. EW is now more consistently 5:30-40 (rather than closer to 5:00) and where he does EW, he is more likely to lie back down and settle until 6:00 WU time. He is also notably less grumpy after his nap, even though he’s being woken and having less time.
Think I’ll stick at this new routine for 2-3 weeks and potentially look at shortening to 1hojr if I think it might help further.

[Conniesmummy]

Sounds like a good plan. Not sure where you are but this hot weather doesn’t help either 🙄

[JCN]

Yes - I’m UK too. Defo putting some of it down to this ridiculous heatwave!