Advice for a new baby

[Gummi_bear63]

I have a 27 month old and a new baby on the way. I am honestly feeling terrified about how having the new baby is going to go. My son was a horrific sleeper from the start and the first year was horrendous in terms of sleep. I'm not sure if that was just his personality or if I could have done things better. I am hoping to approach sleep differently and see if this makes a difference.

When my son came home from the hospital, to be honest I let him feed to sleep most of the time because it was so easy and he desperately wanted to sleep(as did I!). I had milk supply issues and struggled to keep him awake to feed but once he had enough I stopped trying to keep him awake and let him sleep. Right from the start he was very difficult to get to sleep any other way and would never sleep for long stretches. I remember my mom would visit and settle him in his bassinet before she left so I could nap(she was so optimistic...) and he'd wake within 10 minutes. I spent most of the first 6 months holding him for naps because it was the only way he would sleep and only for cat naps at that. Getting him to go to sleep on his own and sleep through the night was a horrific experience I am so nervous to repeat. His other favourite way to settle was lot's of bouncing and shushing.

I didn't discover this site until he was several months old and already had lot's of bad habits. All the other books I read said let them go to sleep however in the first 3 months and fix them later...basically. But that didn't work so well for me and I am hoping to do things better next time around.

I understand the concept of EASY and I can see myself trying to use this, however I am feeling confused about how exactly I will get the baby to sleep for these times without relying on "props". I've never really understood how the pat/shush isn't a prop, and I tried this with my son when he was a few months old and was never successful in getting him to sleep. I was quite persistent but this method drove me absolutely nuts until I eventually abandoned it. Perhaps because I started too late but hard to know. I also have the challenge of having my older son around and not always being able to devote 45 minutes to getting my newborn to sleep. Does anyone have any advice about how to approach getting a newborn to sleep in a way that won't build bad associations? Is the pat/shush the only option?

Also, is feeding to sleep okay in the night for awhile? I don't know if my sanity could handle trying to keep my baby awake during night feeds to then spend forever trying to get it to sleep.

Any advice is appreciated!

[creations]

Hi there
Sorry to hear you are feeling so anxious about your second LO's arrival.

Maybe have a look at Dr Harvey Karp's 5s method.  It's similar to Tracy's 4s and you can use it alongside the EASY routine and BW methods.  I actually started out using Karp's method when mine was a newborn as I didn't hear about BW until he was 4-5 wks old and after I read my first BW book I kind of adapted the two methods.  I know others here have used it too.  It's from the book Happiest Baby on the Block but I never read the book. My memory of the method was having seen Karp on a UK TV show (I think it was called This Morning), he worked miracles with new born and young babies, it was like he had the magic wand.  The clip is online somewhere if you look for it.  I'd seen it years before having my LO but the memory stayed with me and it worked so well for my DS.  That doesn't mean it was 100% plain sailing of course. I've done my fair share of difficult days!  Maybe worth a look though.