Help needed as everything is going wrong with routine!

[Jemma27x]

The first few weeks I definatly winged it with LO after an unexpected hospital stay and breastfeeding going wrong it was very overwhelming so I just went into survival mode but the past two weeks I have been trying all I can to get baby into the easy routine but it’s not been going great.. LO is a snacker and a cat napper and its just going wrong.

Baby is 11 weeks old but a very hungry baby and I think that her food and sleep are very closely linked so because she is snacking and having more bottles she is also then napping but for short times. She is currently having between 5-6oz a time - most times she will finish the bottle but some times she only want 3oz ish but she is doing this every 2-21/2 hours. She is sleeping for only 45 minutes a time ish but when Waking up she is very drowsy and once I start the ‘E’ she just falls asleep again and we struggle to get any activity from her - I tried to reverse the e and a just to see if that worked the past few days which we got some more activity that way but Her having 8-9 bottles a day i don’t think is right and she then wakes up a lot for the evening but then ends up I think getting over tired and ends up kicking off and not settling well.

Do you have any tips that you would recommend for my situation - I feel that she should be having less naps and being awake a lot longer at her age and also be satisfied with what she is being fed. She continues to wake up through the night for food the longest she has gone is 4 hours on a few occasions which I understand not all baby’s sleep through so I’m not too bothered about that but after waking up the first time she then is awake every hour most nights and continues to cat nap it seems.

I have been trying to put a good bedtime routine in but partner doesn’t get back from work untill 7:30 and it all ends up going up in the air which is another factor.

Thanks in advance from a frustrated mum!

[Lolly]

Hello and welcome!

The first thing I would is to take a step back and watch her cues for a couple of days and log when you think she is hungry tired etc. That should give you more of a clue to help adjust the routine.

A 45 min nap is often due to not enough A time so you may need to extend her A times a bit and use shh/ pat to re-settle for example. If she is short napping I wouldn't feed when she wakes, especially if she isn't showing hunger cues, try and stick to 3 hourly feeds for now.

Here is a link for some examples of routines for 0-3 months so have a look at the end of the page for appropriate routines for your baby's age.

If you can log a couple of your days and then come back we can help further. If we can help to get her days sorted that should help her nights too.

HTH!

Laura

[Jemma27x]

Thanks so much! I think I’m getting so stressed over everything I do need to sit back and assess, I will just aim for 3 hours feeding and then if sometimes it’s 4 or sometimes its 2 I will write t all down and revert back. She is being sooo drowsy in the day I find t hard to get a lot of A from her I think this weather doesn’t help.

In the day she usually is a lot easier to read and I can feed with not much fuss but it’s the evenings which all go wrong and I think she is staying awake for too long as she is fighting sleep,I have seen online the max time for them to be awake is around 1 hour 45 minutes is that correct? Or should I just follow her lead still.. in the evenings I worry about her getting too much sleep before the big night sleep but i feel since her evenings are so bad it’s probably not settling her down for a good night sleep.

Thanks again

[Lolly]

A time at her age is about 1hr 45 ish, some a little more or less. You are heading towards 2 hours by 4 months. Well rested babies sleep better than over tired ones, so don't worry about the evening sleep too much.

Post soem logs as soon as you can and we'll help further.

Laura

[Jemma27x]

I thought I would leave it a few weeks to see if I can see any sort of pattern but as soon as I think I have cracked it she changes and at the moment she is getting very angry over the bottle and going nearly 4 hours between feeds compared to her normal 2.5 - 3 hours. She also has been refusing to have the bottle in the morning and been going untill 9-10 am with me probably annoying her so much keeping trying her with the bottle she then ends up taking it..

No clue what’s going on with her and if it’s just a phase but her sleep is seeming a lot more predictable and she cannot go longer than 1 hour 45 before getting cranky when awake - 1 hour sometimes later in the day but the problem is she is still catnapping only 40 minutes a time except her afternoon sleep I can sometimes push her to 1hr 30 so with her going even longer for food she ends up doing more of a EASAS and I’m unsure how bad catnapping is for her and if she trusty is getting refreshed from it?

I will keep trying to see a bit of a pattern forming - it’s annoying me she is having about 10oz less than she normally would have at the moment but she is getting so upset if I try and offer the bottle any earlier I’m just lost as what to do?

[Lolly]

I am on holiday at the moment so will post more when I get back tomorrow. How old is she now? A thing to bear is that you may need to push those A times more. Babies can get cranky because they are used to sleeping at a certain point or are bored so we need to push them through it to get the longer A times and better naps.

Laura

[Jemma27x]

I have noticed she is defo getting bored a lot more easy so we go around a bit and change it up as much as I can.. when it gets to about an hour and 35 of activity I will then get her up and she will sleep sometimes easily sometimes a struggle but will only fall asleep in my arms hardly ever on her own unless I’m holding her it’s always just a catnap - if I’m holding her she can for an hour and a half to two hours.

She was 14 weeks on Monday - she has still cut out two bottles but she is a bigger baby so I’m not too worried about it - randomly she has slept through from half 9 to Half 5 at night but it’s very random and she usually goes from about half 9 to 3- half 3 then wakes up half 6 to 7.

Hope you have a lovely holiday, I appreciate your help 😀 x

[Lolly]

Hope you have a lovely holiday, I appreciate your help 😀 x

We did thanks! We went to North Wales and the weather actually behaved for us which was a bonus!

Sounds like you need to work on independent sleep and stretch that A time to a more appropriate length consistently. Have a look at this link, there's lots of info for the age your LO is now.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85499.0

I would start by letting her get drowsy in your arms then laying her down before she's asleep and then using shh/pat to help her get to sleep. It does take a bit of work but it's worth it. You can also use it for extending naps by patting when she starts to stir, but you need the A time long enough for that or she won't be tired enough to transition into another sleep cycle.

Here is a shh/pat link https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0

I think your sleep issue is probably more of a priority than the bottle issues really, if she is gaining weight and is alert when she is awake she will be getting enough milk. My DD was a refluxer and was taking less than half the recommended amount for her size for a very long time but she stuck like glue to the 91st centile and gained weight just fine met all her milestones on time or early and generally thrived on fresh air (wait until the toddler years when they really do live on fresh air... ). You would probably be better starting a post on the sleep boards, the ladies there may be of more help as my sleep deprived days are long gone... Not that I'm trying to get rid of you, I just think you'll get more help in sleep!! You are welcome to keep posting here if you prefer though!

You are doing really well though, these early months are just plain tough.

Laura

[Jemma27x]

That is defo a bonus as today is miserable!

Thanks so much for all your help the information you sent was really helpful 😀 I will post over in the sleep forum as I think if the sleep gets better then the feeding may slot into place aswell 😀

These months have been hard and as soon as you think you understand it all goes wrong again! But I’m sure it will get easier eventually haha! 😀