Author Topic: Help getting 14 month old to fall asleep  (Read 59 times)

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Offline abby2424

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Help getting 14 month old to fall asleep
« on: August 07, 2018, 15:23:44 pm »
Hello all,

I am having trouble getting my almost 15 month old to fall asleep on her own. There was a time, prior to 12 months old, that I could put her in her crib, walk out, and she would fall asleep by herself. Since that time she had a lot of teeth come in and some colds so it has been hard to get her to fall asleep and to stay asleep.

We also just travelled across the country and had to deal with time changes and vacation schedules, etc. We are now back home and have been a few weeks. Her sleep schedule is back on track but we are either dealing with some accidental parenting and/or separation anxiety. Her routine is bath, goodnight to dad, nurse (weaning off), brush teeth, story, light out, and bed. Once in the bed she gets pats/ back rubs and songs... and then more back rubs and songs... and then more. As soon as I stop she will start crying. Or if she is barrel rolling in the bed and I don't touch her she gets upset. Last night I gave up and left and she screamed and cried. I kept going back in and comforting her but I'd just had enough.

If I stay in patting her until I think she is asleep, she knows the instant that I am standing up or walking out the door and will start crying. I had been trying to do the shush/pat but I think I created a monster by staying in there too long doing it.

Her routine looks roughly like this:

WU: 7
Breakfast: 7:30
Daycare: 8
Snack: 9
Lunch: 11
Nap: 1130ish (she isn't a good napper and never has been. An hour to 1.5 is standard)
Snack: 3
Pick up from Daycare: between 3-4:30
Small snack: 5
Dinner: Between 6-7 depending on our schedules
Sleep and final nurse: I aim for 7 but it is normally more like 7:30

I know she gets overtired sometimes with only one nap but I can't control the daycare nap. She catnaps in the car on the ride home sometimes. We both work fulltime jobs so getting her to bed at 7 is ideal but doesn't always happen.

Any suggestions on whether I should do the gradual plan or try walk in/ walk out? We finally have her sleeping all night (until the canines come in!) and she will settle herself at night unless something is wrong.

Thanks!

Offline creations

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Re: Help getting 14 month old to fall asleep
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2018, 19:11:37 pm »
Hello and welcome to BW forums :)

Sorry to see you didn't get any replies yet.
How are things going now?  Has there been any change or improvement since you posted?

If you'd like to update I'll have a look.


Offline abby091314

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Re: Help getting 14 month old to fall asleep
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2018, 14:41:45 pm »
Thanks for the reply! Things seem to be marginally better in that I can stop patting her without her immediately jumping up and crying. Last night I was able to get her to sleep by 7 with just one song and she was quasi awake when I left.

Now the last few mornings she has been waking at 5:30am for the day. She woke up at 1:30 am this am and it took about 30 mins to get her back to sleep.

Hopefully things are just a little wonky and will keep improving.

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Re: Help getting 14 month old to fall asleep
« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2018, 19:04:17 pm »
It looks like her nap might be too early in the day for her. Is nap at day care at a set time or is there a chance of moving it later?

Phases of separation anxiety can be pretty rough. It's usually best to give lots and lots of attention and extra help to increase confidence and trust until the phase passes.  If you feel confident the phase has passed but some habits/props are lingering then I 'd probably have a chat with her about how BT is going to go for example how many songs she can have (2?) and then that you will stay with her but she needs to go to sleep.  I'd probably use a key phrase and start with a hand on her (stroking head but gradually reduce it) whilst saying the phrase eg "everything is okay, go to sleep".  she needs your support and it may take some time so I'd probably give myself some Y time before the BT routine if possible so that you are prepared for the time and energy it's taking.
When it comes to WI/WO or gradual withdrawal I think it is more to do with personal preference really. I've kind of used both mixed together with my DS depending on the situation, if he is upset I definitely stay with him but if he's messing around I leave. and during some phases have made camp outside his room with a book, cuppa and comfy pillows so I can do verbal reassurance through the door.
Have you seen this link?
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0