How to implement EAS with 4 other littles underfoot?

[Anders45]

I'm at a loss of what to do. It took me 4 hours to get my 1 month old to sleep in her bed this morning, and that was by letting her suckle until she fell asleep. I've tried sh/pat, I've tried the 5s and the 4s. I've watched religiously for her window. She won't take a paci. I swaddle her as soon as I see those signs. Then I hold her and sway until she starts to look drowsy then I lay her on the bed and lay next to her and sometimes she'll fall asleep quick and wake up 10 minutes later as mad as a banshee and only suckling will calm her down. And sometimes she'll get mad just by me laying her down. And only suckling will calm her. This is all compounded by the fact that my husband goes back to school on Monday. He leaves at 6 am won't be home until 8 pm every night and I have 3.5 yo twins and a 2.5 yo d who are very active. I did BW with my others, but it was a little easier when I could lock them in their room and they couldn't get out. They've since figured out how to work the child locks...

[creations]

Sorry, no idea what to suggest but wanted to stop by with a hug as it sounds exhausting.

[Katet]

Hugs

I have a friend who is the mother of 8 (she's Polynesian and big families are normal) she didn't ever try to get any of them to sleep in a crib in the day for the first few months & TBH that is pretty normal in all but Western societies. So I do wonder if the reason you are having problems is the idea that it is normal for babies to sleep separated from their parents.

I know with my DS2 (I only have the 2) my DH didn't have any time off work past the first few days so it was a case of doing what worked, which meant unless my eldest was sleeping my DS2 slept in a sling on me, or in the stroller when we were out & about or in the car etc.

I think it's also important to remember your older children (particularly the twins) WILL remember all that happens now, the baby won't remember (or be impacted by) whether it had textbook sleep or you carried it around, so IMHO the routine for the older children should always take priority over the ever changing one of a a newborn.

There is also a lot of growth spurts early on in BF babies - I can't remember if it's 3 weeks of 4 weeks & then 6 weeks or something like that (not all babies have read the book to have one at a set time either) So the need to suckle a lot could be because she is going through a growth spurt. And with BF babies it isn't always about increasing the milk quantity but about the consistency of it & more suckling can produce more creamy milk.

My Motto (that I still hold onto after 15 years of parenting...even more so with teens) is that "work with the environment the behaviour occurs and see what can be changed, rather than hope to fit an ideal outcome"  The fact of the matter is you have 4 children under 4, 3 of which are active & need to be kept busy,  the 4th of which, in more than 70% of the world would be carried around for naps in it's early months of life... while BW is amazing, the point is it isn't always easier & it is so much harder when they aren't your only child. Look at what you need for your older children & work the baby around that, rather than the other way around.