Author Topic: Screaming 4 Month Old  (Read 288 times)

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Offline Videogameshay

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Screaming 4 Month Old
« on: October 10, 2018, 19:21:25 pm »
Hey everyone, I'm having some serious issues with my four-month-old

We follow the Wake times pretty closely so our first wake time is 1.5 second is 1.5 third is 1.75 fourth is 1.75 and before bed is 1.75. He only ever really takes 45 minute naps. Lately he has been screaming for an entire crib hour for one of his naps each day but it's not always the last one for example yesterday it was the third nap of the day. Also sometimes he will settle himself for about 5 to 10 minutes and then start screaming again

I don't know what to do as I don't want to listen to him scream for 30 minutes to an hour but he's also been Ferber trained and goes down very easily for bed and only wakes wants to eat and is pretty good about going back to sleep I just put him in the crib and he falls back asleep.

What am I doing wrong with his naps? I want them to be longer and I don't understand why he doesn't settle for them when he does settle for other naps and usually all the time for bedtime
« Last Edit: October 10, 2018, 19:23:07 pm by Videogameshay »

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Re: Screaming 4 Month Old
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2018, 08:09:38 am »
Hi there

As BW doe not agree with ferber methods or any form of CC or CIO (even the ferber method was for babies of over 6 months and not younger) we would be unable to support or advise with those methods.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=19710.0

You may find this FAQ helpful on regaining trust of your child:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=126141.0

hope this helps


Offline Katet

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Re: Screaming 4 Month Old
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2018, 09:38:35 am »
As said above BW don't support Ferber AND from all I read about the Ferber method (15 years ago), it was not recommended in babies under 18mo (although I know there are always people who say it is fine) as a number of babies actually choked on their vomit from crying so much.

From an emotional intelligence point of view, babies need to know people are there to lovingly support them & to teach them to go to sleep & being there physically comforting them (cuddles, rubbing back etc) is a great way to build trust for the rest of their lives.

To put it in perspective one of the reasons he cries so much is that he doesn't have sleep skills, he just gives up being awake when he's too exhausted to put up a fight, so the times he does scream is because he's complaining that no one is there to help him when he is struggling. Because of the Ferber method, there isn't really any advice I can give you to help as BW methods are hands-on & supportive, while Ferber is an "Extinction" method & they don't have any common ground.
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Offline Martini~

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Re: Screaming 4 Month Old
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2018, 23:45:53 pm »
Not planning to judge you on using Ferber methods.

As ladies mentioned above we donít support Ferber here, but still it can be a successful method (not going into the discussion what you gain and what you lose), but you have to see the result. If you had any bad habits to be broken, it should be couple of days for this to happen. If the baby still cries it means that itís not about the habit you tried to break but about something else. No matter which method you use for sleep training it should work - if itís not working, it means you baby is genuinely trying to say you something. Thatís why we prefer more gentle methods here which on one hand still break the habit, but on the other hand they protect you and the baby from situation where the crying is long and tiring for both you and a baby.

I would encourage you firstly to review your schedule/routine. Itís usually the first thing which is not correct when baby doesnít want to sleep. If your Lo is 4mo, I would say he doesnít need 4 naps a day and trying to make him to do one more is making him furious. Secondly I would encourage you to be with him when he goes to sleep and assist him when needed. I know that hearing your baby cry is extremely difficult but itís our role to be with them even when they cry and even if we say we wonít give them what they want. When you are in the room next to the crib, you can see what your baby is doing, how he acts, if you can do anything to help him with sleep. And believe me he doesnít need fully independent sleep skills at that age. Going to sleep in a crib is already a very precious ability which will help him go through the night without feeds when he is ready. Your presence in the room with a baby wonít ruin his sleep, it only could help.

Keeping fingers crossed for both of you so you could find a good balance and routine for him and that crying will stop as soon as possible.
« Last Edit: October 31, 2018, 23:48:10 pm by Martini~ »
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