Author Topic: Pushing bedtime to help early wake up  (Read 330 times)

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Offline Conniesmummy

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Pushing bedtime to help early wake up
« on: October 25, 2018, 08:46:44 am »
Hi,
As Iíve said in my other post Iím struggling with my 3 yr old at the minute with waking early. Iíd be ok with this if it didnít result in her being so very tired and grumpy all day and this really makes my anxiety rocket, so Iím looking at ways to possibly help her sleep longer.
I was looking at another post on this forum, dated last year sometime, in relation to someone trying to help move bt/wu time.
It was suggested to try and push bt way past their normal bt by well over an hour, in stages obviously, with the aim of forcing a later wu. This person stated that this worked for her son, after a short period of ot. She then gradually brought bt back to the chosen bt, this lengthening the night.
I feel we are stuck in a mad ot/ut loop and with my anxiety issues Iím really struggling. Itís affecting my sleep and Iím in my knees, Iíve cried at work this morning  :'(
I have approached my Gp re my anxiety as I feel I need to try meds again to help things before they escalate any further as I canít see an easy solution to these ewuís.
We have a reward box but then Iím struggling when to reward as she will stay in her bed until get up time. Itís just the waking early and bad moods that are getting me down. I know there are others struggling with worse but I am really anxious.
Iíd love to know if anyone else has tried this approach successfully.
We have pushed bt back these last couple of days ready for the clock changes.
Sheís always been a mega sleeper so this is a massive shock to both our systems. Sheís also stopped being dry overnight. We were at the point of no pull ups and now sheís mega wet every night.
Hope Iím not missing anything major with her 😢

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Re: Pushing bedtime to help early wake up
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2018, 13:56:57 pm »
Hi there
Sorry to hear your anxiety is high, hugs x

I only had a very quick look at your other thread but based on info about night lights, dark etc I would suggest:
- no blue light at all
- if a night light is needed to nod off due to fear of the dark then use one for the first part of the night but then go in before your BT and turn it off
- totally, I mean TOTALLY black out the room. It is amazing the difference this makes.  I did have 3 layers of black out on myDS's room as each layer had it's problem of chinks being let through.  We now have only 2 layers (due to a house move) and I don't feel it is enough really however my DS is sleeping okay so I am not at the point of needing to problem solve EW (and likely we'll cope until spring)
- kitchen foil is a good first layer black out you could try. tape it to the window or frame and scrunch it into all the frame edges, corners etc.
- go back to pull ups for night time.  Your LO is old enough to understand if you explain that you want her comfortable so that she can sleep properly and that her body is not ready yet to go pull up free at night
- The wetting at night could be linked to how much or when she drinks in the day, drinking most of her fluids earlier on could help but limiting drinks in the evening is counter-productive, it can make wetting worse due to dehydration so I don't suggest limiting evening drinks.
- reward tokens for staying in bed may possibly cause wetting but you probably thought of that already. If she feels she is not allowed to get up then she might wake needing a wee but stay in bed wanting to gain her night time reward.  If this is a possibility reassure her that she is always allowed to get up to use the toilet no matter what time it is.
- it could also be OT causing the night wetting, my DS wet after 2 years of being dry at night when he went to bed too late due to a day out and travel delays.  I know OT causes him poor sleep, night mares and possible wetting.

When I did the big push past the hour for BT my DS was much younger.  I'm trying to work out how old he was but can't remember, possibly 2yo, possibly younger (maybe I put it in that thread you read?)  I don't think your LO is too young though.  For me it was due to the clock change which I dreaded, he never ever altered his WU time with 15 min BT shifts all it did was reduce his night sleep by however much I shifted BT which meant long term OT building up and never resolving.
The rapid shift each day helped me and my DS.



Offline Conniesmummy

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Re: Pushing bedtime to help early wake up
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2018, 17:21:31 pm »
Thanks for replying so quickly.
We have always been totally blacked out, use tin foil too 👍🏻 Only off now due to dark nights and no light gets in at all. She has a very dim orange glow night light, no blue light although she used to have blue light and was always a very good sleeper regardless. I only leave it on for the toilet and it is very dim and almost under her bed so not glaring at all.
Sorry I shouldíve pointed out that she is still in pull ups and Iíve always said she can get out for a wee but Iíve reinforced this again.
Never restricted drinks either, never noticed a difference regardless of how little or much she drinks.
She was bone dry and now sodden.
The reward tokens only came into play yesterday so theyíre not stopping he getting up as been wet for a while now.
I wouldnít know if she was ot cos itís so hard to read her right now. Sheís pretty much wired most of the time with a massive development leap. Sheís like a mini adult right now and questions everything to the point of despair.
Weíve started to push the bt later the last 2 nights, only by 15 mins to coincide with the clock change. Weíve never had an issue with clocks before. Weíve always just gone with the flow and itís worked but this year she is already waking mega early so didnít want 5 to become 4 😔

Offline Conniesmummy

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Re: Pushing bedtime to help early wake up
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2018, 08:51:25 am »
We had a couple of mega sleeps 11 hrs plus, then the clock change and instantly back to stupid early. Last night was only 10hrs all night 😔. She will crash at some point and then I struggle with the dilemma of her nodding off in the car. Do I let her or keep her awake? I really donít know what to do next and my anxiety is ridiculous right now I just want to sit on my own and cry. Iíve been back to my Gp and restarted propanalol for the anxiety. I just canít fathom out where to go with this now. Itís been going on for such a long time now  :'(

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Re: Pushing bedtime to help early wake up
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2018, 19:01:59 pm »
10 hrs doesn't sound enough to me so I'm not surprised she's nodding off in the car.
It sounds like a developmental phase, is it near her birthday or half birthday?
I think it might be something you just need to ride out and not to take it personally.
I'd probably put her to bed with a 10.5hr night planned that way if she does 10 hrs it's only 30 min earlier for you, and she might stay quiet and rest until her lights come on.  If she starts to repeatedly sleep through her lights or cry when they come on automatically then shift BT earlier by 15 min.

Sorry you're having such a hard time right now x


Offline Conniesmummy

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Re: Pushing bedtime to help early wake up
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2018, 21:28:30 pm »
Thanks, weíve taken the overnight light with the sun and moon on away and have put a dim light on a timer, set to come on at wake up  ???

Offline Conniesmummy

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Re: Pushing bedtime to help early wake up
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2018, 06:04:50 am »
Another 10!!!