Author Topic: Almost 2 yr old night wakings and restless  (Read 689 times)

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Offline careenk

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Almost 2 yr old night wakings and restless
« on: October 29, 2018, 22:03:43 pm »
Hi,
Wonder if someone could maybe help. My almost 2 yr old girl (have 2 older boys who slept well), is suddenly wakig  at night. Different times and needs me or my husband in the room.
She has been the worst sleeper of all 3 but actually started aleeping a little better recently.
We dis move her to her bed out of her cot a few weeks ago but she was sleeping fine and even pushed till 5 am some bight.
Now suddenly wakes at night and screams for us.
I did once or twice lie next to her because I am just SO tired which I know is a no-no.
So now, how do I handle this? I am not a cry it out type of person but am so tired at the moment that I am even considering that!
I am now sitting on the cold floor outside her room and keep putting her back into jer bed if she gets up. Do I just keep doing that and hope ahe will fall asleep eventually?
Help please otherwise this mom might lose her marbles!

Offline Katet

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Re: Almost 2 yr old night wakings and restless
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2018, 21:22:13 pm »
I did once or twice lie next to her because I am just SO tired which I know is a no-no.
Why is it a no-no? I always wonder why it is said that meeting the needs of family members at the moment is a no-no?

At 2yo they have a greater sense of the world & often the night wakings are driven by needs for comfort and validation. They know more about the world & the tiniest fear that they have been left alone is greater at night. The calling out & the screaming are for validation. It could have been some simple moment where she lost sight of you & got frightened or a time you went out when she was sleeping & while someone else was there for her it sent her into a fear response & that comes back... some children ARE more sensitive to emotions & while their siblings don't react that way they do, so as a parent what works for one child can be different for another.

Honestly, the best way forward is to meet her at her needs. Sit beside the bed until she falls asleep & after a week or so, try & move a bit further away & work on it as a long-term goal. I *know* in the evening it feels like it eats into the *me* time, but the long-term trust is what prevents her from making the needs met in another way
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline careenk

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Re: Almost 2 yr old night wakings and restless
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2018, 21:57:29 pm »
By its a no-no I mean creating a bad habit of her always wanting me to sleep next to her.
So by no means am I implying that meeting her needs is a no-no.

I am merely asking for advice on how to deal with it to get her to not wake and be awake for ao long. And I totally get kids are different hence why I reach out for ideas and help because others I am sure have gone through the same and maybe they have an idea of what I can try.
She takes really long (as in hours) to fall back asleep and I have tried te sitting next to her bed and moving away but because she is awake for so long I sit there for 3 hrs going in and out of her room as she starts crying again. It just wasn’t like this before and also understand they can go through phases.

I have also tried having a little light, having it dark etc etc etc. hust out of ideas so reaching out for new ideas. So not implying that meeting her needs is a no-no.

I am just an over tired mom of 3 trying to run her own business and tired of being awake hours each night.

Offline Katet

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Re: Almost 2 yr old night wakings and restless
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2018, 06:17:41 am »
Really bad habits are often only because we have a westernized pre concieved idea of what children should do and what we want them to be doing. Sleeping through the night in a room independent of family is a concept designed as affluence increased and homes got bigger.
Temperament and environmental factors play into why some children wake frequently or for long periods. If she has fallen asleep independently then she has "sleep skills" and the long night waking is probably related to mix of separation anxiety and some fear developed from being away from primary attachment, which is why when you do lie next to her she sleeps better. That time you are there fills the 'need' that precipitates the upset in the night. With your time stretched with other children and work its possible that she's sub consciously worked out she gets undivided attention in the night so it fullfills the need for 1 to 1 time. If it is that case (worked with my eldest when my youngest had been sick on hospital ) carving out more special moments in the day ca help... little things like rather than walking past when he was happily playing Id stop ruffle his hair and give a cuddle. More bedtime stories and a few micro dates (1to 1,  5 min walk along the street ) helped at bedtime.
The main thing that helps is when they see our engagement is 100% not us being distracted and giving half attention as they do (even at 13yo ) notice and find another way for attention
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05