Author Topic: Taking Away Pacifier  (Read 1846 times)

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Offline pgali

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Taking Away Pacifier
« on: December 01, 2018, 20:59:25 pm »
Hi everyone,

First post here. I could really use some support or help or guidance with this. My baby is 4 months old, and for the last 5 or so weeks we have had to replace the pacifier 5-10 times between the hours of 7am-7pm. It is really getting exhausting for all of us, especially now that she no longer needs night feeds, so at this point all of us SHOULD be getting a good nights sleep by now. But we aren't because of the pacifier.

She doesn't wake up when it falls out, but if she wakes up she can't get back to sleep without it. Same goes for naps.

I went cold turkey on the soother 2 days ago, and after two hours of screaming, crying, flailing (with 5 minute sleeps sprinkled in), she went to sleep. I was with her the whole time, holding her, hugging her, talking to her, holding her hands, rubbing her back, patting and shushing. The next nap, she went down with 5 minutes of protest, woke up mid-nap laughing, then when i went in to check on her 10 minutes later, she was back asleep. After that, things seemed to go backwards, and  i endured anywhere from 12 minutes to 1 hour of PU/PD for every nap or night waking. Then my nanny came and said she was teething (which I hadn't realized), and that that's probably why she was protesting so much.

Anyway, that night I caved and gave her the soother because I had already been feeling so bad for her. I know this was probably so confusing for her, but after such an emotional 2 days I was totally tapped out.

I'm starting up again today, and just spent 20 minutes putting her down for her nap while she screamed her head off.

The problem is, I'm really suffering from the "poor baby" syndrome. I feel SO SO bad for my little angel, it is so hard to see her cry like that. Even though I'm with her the whole time, I have to keep asking my husband every minute if he's sure this isn't doing her psychological damage or is too painful for her. Almost every time I do PU/PD, I cry afterwards. My husband can't do it for me, because he gets frustrated with the crying after 1 minute, whereas I have seemingly unlimited patience, and when she cries I just hold her really tight and reassure her.

I just need some reassurance that I'm doing this right. Is it normal for a baby to literally SCREAM and flail and cry, just because they don't have their soother? Am I hurting her?

I told my husband maybe we should quit, and he said, sure, give her back the soother and we'll just get up 5x a night. I honestly don't mind.

When he said that, I realized there's no way I can keep waking up in the night. I'm so exhausted. Our baby is so exhausted. This isn't sustainable.

I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place. I hate hearing my baby cry. But I need the sleep.

Am I doing the right thing?

Any support or suggestions would be so appreciated. :)

Offline Katet

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Re: Taking Away Pacifier
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2018, 08:23:57 am »
especially now that she no longer needs night feeds

At 4months old a BF baby can still be feeding 2-4 times a night if BF & often almost as many if FF depending on where they are with Growth spurts. If you are going more than 5-6 hours at night without a feed (sleeping through the night at 3months is 5-6 hours & gradually getting longer, but at 4mo it's rarely longer than 8 hours & mostly it's a 10.30 dream feed & another between then & 7am. So I don't think she necessarily no longer needs night that would be the first thing I'd be looking at, ie if she wakes & it's 3/4 hours since her last feed I'd offer a feed.

I'm starting up again today, and just spent 20 minutes putting her down for her nap while she screamed her head off.
20mins isn't that long for babies, esp if they are under or overtired. Sometimes if you have miss read the sleep signs then it could be overtired crying or protest crying.

Firstly, do you have a good routine, with clear rituals that you follow before you put her down to sleep eg sit & snuggle, with back rubs until she relaxes & then put in bed with patting or given she is 4mo even trying Pick up/Put down.

dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline xjambix

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Re: Taking Away Pacifier
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2018, 11:56:00 am »
We just took away our pacifier because we were having the same problem as you but also because he was getting really upset in the car whenever it fell out and I couldn’t replace it. We started off with day time, so took away pacifier outside of naps for a few days. Then no pacifier for naps as much as we could and then when he was no longer looking for it (his wee mouth would go as though he was sucking it for a bit, it was so cute), we took it away at night.