Author Topic: 19 month old tantrums at night unless mommy takes him  (Read 211 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Ilijansmum

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 22
  • Location:
19 month old tantrums at night unless mommy takes him
« on: December 29, 2018, 14:31:31 pm »
Hello! My DS has never been a good sleeper, but recently he'd made good progress, either sleeping through or waking only once. And he would fall asleep easily, with me, DH or grandmas, at daycare as well. But starting a week ago, he won't fall asleep without me and won't resettle unless I walk in. I tried sending in DH, but he cries, screams and kicks, once for 40 min and still won't calm down. He started having tantrums during daytime as well if I don't do what he asks for, and won't have his father do it instead. Even for simple things, like pick him up or give him water. Is it separation anxiety? We never had this before :( what should I do? please help!

Online Haribo2012

  • Toddler Sleep
  • Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 75
  • Posts: 4914
  • Location: England
Re: 19 month old tantrums at night unless mommy takes him
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2018, 09:24:37 am »
Hi there tiring as it is itís just another phase of development and learning that you are a separate person to him. Itís also learning about what he can and canít control as such. Both of my kids had phases where only mummy can do xyz....last night my nearly 7 year old had a fit as daddy poured his milk not mummy!?
Best thing I would suggest is give him lots of attention and lots of choices, it will pass. If you are not around obviously someone else will have to tend to his needs but with mine Iíve also kind of indulged these clingy times and tried to think they wonít be teeny tiny forever.
Zoe


Offline Ilijansmum

  • New & Learning The Ropes
  • *
  • Showing Appreciation 0
  • Posts: 22
  • Location:
Re: 19 month old tantrums at night unless mommy takes him
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2018, 16:30:37 pm »
Thank you so much for your reply! With all that I read I didn't want to encourage his "little tyrant" behaviour, but two weeks later I just want to avoid tantrums and have some peace. So I'll definitely do what you suggest. All the best!

Online Haribo2012

  • Toddler Sleep
  • Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 75
  • Posts: 4914
  • Location: England
Re: 19 month old tantrums at night unless mommy takes him
« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2018, 18:36:38 pm »
There is a big developmental leap and sleep regression around 18 months so it could all be tied in.
Iíd still try and set some rules so maybe try and distract before tantrum escalated or see if there is a
Pattern as lots of little ones gets angry or upset when they are hungry or tied etc or even when they are frustrated and canít do what they want.
You could try saying do you want to help daddy get your water and lifting her to the tap to hold the cup or saying you chose a book for daddy to read to
you.
If that makes sense x
Zoe


Offline Katet

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 605
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 14258
  • Sydney Australia
  • Location: Sydney
Re: 19 month old tantrums at night unless mommy takes him
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2018, 21:53:56 pm »
I (so I was told by people) would make a rod for my own back by indulging the demands. Thing is Iím now the one with independent easygoing teens, while the Mum who picked on me loads and Ďwould not indulge in that soft behaviour with her soní is having A LOT of issues now he is a teen and , they donít have a great relationship and the counsellor they see says the connection as a big part. Iíve read lots about connection and the primary trust relationship is the foundation to all later ones, so as much as you can build that trust rather than see it as a mini tyrant.
Also acknowledge his feelings when you canít, but also remember sometimes itís a spill over emotion from lots of little things and also it can be really nothing to do with the small issue but just too many small issues have happened and they need the consistency of the normal person to gain equilibrium again. Think of it like who you would go to when a big sad event, in a toddler big sad events happen hourly because their emotions are so confused as they are still developing. Itís a journey not a destination.
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05