Author Topic: 4 am everyday  (Read 72 times)

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Offline Petramama

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4 am everyday
« on: January 06, 2019, 11:41:31 am »

I am the mother of a beautiful son named Anthony. He is almost 10 months old and since he was only 3 months he has been able to fall asleep on his own and has been on a good routine.

He used to have a pacifier but i took it away at 7 months since it was doing more damage than any helping or soothing.

He always fall asleep after a little bit of fussing and sometimes crying but nothing crazy, but if for some reason he would get upset due to phases, teething or sickness I would always go in and calm him down by either patting his back or sing and rarely i would pick up and put down (re flux baby) and then leave and he would fall asleep.

He has been on solids since 4 months old so i believe he is eating well.

Our schedule looks like this:

6 am - wake and 210 ml formula

7.30 - breakfast 1.5 dl baby porridge

9 - sleep 1 to 1 and a half hour

10.30 - wake up

11 - solids (homemade) a big bowl + water + 2/3 corn puffs (takes around 15/20 min)

12.30 - 90 grams fruit puré  (this is given a bit after lunch because of his re flux he cant eat it directly after his lunch)

1/1.30 - sleep for 1 to 1 and a half hour

2.30/3 - wake up 210 ml formula

5.30 - dinner 1.5 dl porridge

6 - bath and getting ready for bed

6.30 sleep!

And then it starts wake up crying at 9 but falls back to sleep when i turn him to the side.

Wakes at 11 but falls back to sleep when i turn him to the side.

Wakes at 1.45 the same. And this is how it has been since i can remember.

And then we have the 4 am wake up which consists of pooping so have to change diaper, of course in silence and darkens and then put back to bed and here he starts crying and quiets when i calm him down but as soon as i step away from his bed he starts crying and crying and this is go we keep it up until 6 am and that's when I take him out of bed and start the day.

You can imagine how tired he is because he has been up since for but i dint change the schedule more than 30 min because this is not a pattern I want him to follow and then adapt the schedule for a 4 am wake up.

For a few days he started sleeping from 6.30/6.45 all the way to 4 am then wake up and he would do that bec i would stay up until 11 pm and turn him to the side whenever he would start moving and put his blanket back on so i would be there before anything annoyed him but that cant be a solution.

I'm exhausted, I cant do anything social because he wont fall back to sleep with anyone but me so my mom cant babysit so me and my husband can go out and my almost 3 year old is waking up because her brother is screaming (playing, talking, crying) so she is grumpy and tired. I even tried giving him another bottle at 6.30 pm before putting to sleep to eliminate him being hungry but it didn't make a difference and he has now started waking up 3 or 4 times again after sleeping 10h without waking. Please help, do i need to change schedule? Activity consists of going to the grocery store, playtime, visits, going on walks, playing with his sister, well anything! What am i doing wrong?

Sorry for the Long post but i wanted to be as detailed as possible so that maybe u can see something i cant.

Thank you in advance!

Offline creations

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Re: 4 am everyday
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2019, 11:54:36 am »
Hi there
I feel for you having those 4am WUs!

Two things come to mind:
1. At this age LOs can handle a longer A time, if your routine stays on a planned 3 hr A time (6am to 9am) then he is likely to continue to wake early as he could be naturally extending his own A time by waking early and not settling back to sleep.
To change this you can plan a different routine where you shift the entire day, moving all meal times and naps to move the day on resulting in almost the same routine but with everything 2 hrs later ie:
WU 6 (not 4)
nap 11am - 12.30pm (yes 11am, this is 2hr later than the 9am you currently put him down but the same length A time)
nap 3.30pm - 5pm
BT 8.30pm

This means the same length night sleep, same length naps and basically the same A times.  You would need to work out where the milk and solids meals and snacks come to fit around the nap times for example a good snack (with milk or water) around 10.30 before the 11am nap and then lunch at 12.30 hen he wakes from nap.

If you decide to shift the routine like this then you can write down the end routine similar to that above including all your E times, and then write out how to get there by starting with your current routine (4am WU) and shifting the routine by 15 mins each day for 8 days.  At the end of the 8 days you should have shifted by 2hrs.  It may take LO a while longer to settle into the routine so you might need to help with sleeps and keep watching the clock to keep things moving forward.

2. The other option is that at 10 months LOs can show sings of needing to reduce day sleep as they begin the transition towards 1 nap instead of 2.  The nap is not dropped all in one go but instead one of the naps is reduced little by  little.  For instance moving the start time of nap 1 later by 15 mins but waking him at the same time reduces the length of that nap whilst keeping nap 2 and BT at the same time.  This can help to encourage a little longer night sleep and help improve morning WU time.
After some improvement to WU time and night sleep your LO might adapt and need another reduction in the nap length...eventually you drop a nap.  During this time you might also need to move the second nap a bit earlier.  Often this ends up being around 11.30 or 12 noon for one long nap.
LOs all drop the nap in different ways, some do better with a short am nap and long pm nap, some with the opposite.  My own DS liked a really long morning A time followed by a good 2 hr nap so I kept that in place and he dropped the second nap, and needed an early BT to help him make it through the day.

There are some FAQs which help with the 2-1 transition if you feel this is the route you need to take.

It could be that you could go with option 1 above shifting the day and then look at option 2 too.

hope this helps some.

Offline Katet

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Re: 4 am everyday
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2019, 03:50:48 am »
And then we have the 4 am wake up which consists of pooping so have to change diaper

When I read your routine & saw the Porridge late in the day, it was a red flag to me for one possible reason for night waking, as it fills up the tummy but doesn't give as many calories as milk does & also the fibre content for a baby can be a lot, esp if twice a day. I'd probably swap it for some protein & veg in the evening, at 10mo you can pretty much givea modified version of family meal & it's good to have food they can chew on to develop jaw strength for talking, rather than mushy food.

I agree with Creations, I'd definitely look at cutting one of the naps shorter as even with the night wakings, it's a lot of 'down time'

dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05