Author Topic: 20 week old eating less during day and anticipating dream feed  (Read 296 times)

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Offline Delliebean

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20 week old eating less during day and anticipating dream feed
« on: January 08, 2019, 12:49:01 pm »
I have a 20 week old who is EBF and has started taking a lot less milk during the day. Itís a challenge to keep him feeding for 10 minutes (he used to take around 20 mins) as he keeps popping off the breast and looking around (ouch!!). I initially thought he was getting more efficient however he does not seem to be emptying my breasts.

Recently Iíve noticed that he has started stirring and sometimes waking in anticipation for the dream feed and seems to feed much longer than compared to during the day. Iíve tried taking him off after a max of 15 minutes but he wakes and gets very upset.  Iíve also tried feeding a little earlier and a little later but it hasnít had much of an effect.

Iím worried that Iíve created a crutch!! How do I extend his day feeds so he tanks up more in the day and doesnít rely on the dream feed so much? Have I made a mistake with the dream feed which has caused him to anticipate that itís coming?  ???

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

I am also in the process of transitioning him from 3 hour to 4 hour feeds and we are currently on the following routine (Iím looking to push the 3rd and 4th feeds out in the next few days!):
E   7:00am
A   
S   9:00am
E   11:00am
A   
S   12:45pm
E   2:30pm
A   
S   4:15pm
E   5:30pm
A   Bath and wind down
S      7:15-7:30
DF - anywhere between 10:15 and 10:45

Baby sleeps through the night. He does wake up sometimes but generally doesnít really cry and puts himself back to sleep. Havenít had to feed him any earlier than his 7am feed.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2019, 12:55:11 pm by Delliebean »

Offline Katet

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Re: 20 week old eating less during day and anticipating dream feed
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2019, 22:47:29 pm »
I think you should give yourself a pat on the back, at 4.5months to have him sleeping from a DF to 7am, you are doing super well in a BF baby.

There are a number of reasons why you have the (not) problem that you are talking about - I say not, because it's pretty normal & the "problem" is more how little real help we get with understanding the range of normal for a baby (some 20 week old BF babies still feed every 2 hours & that's still normal if you look at anthropological studies, its just Western Culture likes to clock watch & be in control)

Anyway, it's very normal for a 4+ month old to want to learn more about the world  & be less intent on food & able to last longer. He will be more efficient & your body will have adapted & not feel full/empty the same way it did when they were younger. The fact he will last 4hours between feeds & sleep 8+ hours at night means he's absolutely getting enough milk in his feeds.

The reason he feeds longer & stirs at DF is more probably that your milk takes longer to feed at night (supply drops at night & if he hasn't fed from 5.30pm to the DF then he'd definitely be hungry (even if you feed at  at 7pm before bed, it's still normal to produce less milk at night.  There is also the comfort side (a good thing) the quite connection with no distractions, are good for bonding & babies are very good at meeting their basic emotional needs (& they are important needs)

In all honesty, yes he may be feeding longer at night than day, but it's not necessarily about the food, but about the big picture of bonding. So all I can say is enjoy it (esp the lack of night feeds), rather than worry about the "perfect routine" & try not to sweat the small stuff as there will be much bigger stuff to worry about for many years to come.
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline Delliebean

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Re: 20 week old eating less during day and anticipating dream feed
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2019, 11:37:53 am »
Thank you Katet!

My hyper type A personality had me so worried and paranoid. I feel a lot more reassured now!

Offline Katet

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Re: 20 week old eating less during day and anticipating dream feed
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2019, 21:42:34 pm »
Type personality and Motherhood is hard.
For me I made efforts (with success) to relax and learn to let go of the need for control as it's very hard to parent when you can't be flexible.
For the type A mind... Love and quality time are  more important ingredients in having a good parenting journey... A good sleep routine is just a nice thing, but not an indication of anything going better future down the track... Patience and flexibility are more so.
Enjoy the journey rather than look for ideals
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Offline *Ali*

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Re: 20 week old eating less during day and anticipating dream feed
« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2019, 13:01:29 pm »
I completely agree with katet's reply.  Completely normal. There's so much going on that he is aware of in the day now. 
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