Starting from 0 with a spirited 21month old

[LaraDaisy]

Hello dear magic ladies with tons of great advice!
I need help. No, like this i need HELP! please help me get my 21month old girl off my breast and out of our bed.
I know it is my own fault, I also blame a few huge moves, my depression and a lot of other things that lead me here.
But now i want to change the way things are.
So, my little girl has been bfed to sleep since birth and has been cosleeping with me for about a year now.
I read Pantley's book and started doing the gentle removal process about 10 days ago, and i can get her to fall asleep next to me without the breast at night. But when she wakes up at night i am so tired and sleepy that i just do not get fully awake to do the removal and just end up nursing her to sleep. I just cannot wake up for it. As a result, there is no improvement with the number of NWs, she wakes up 5+ times per night (i think, most nights more)
So now i need a different strategy.
 I was thinking of moving into guest bedroom (which is in the basement) with her and sleep on the couch so that it is physically not possible for me to actually cosleep with her. And have her sleep in a crib. And not nurse to sleep anymore.
Should i just stop nursing at night?
What is the best course of action?

Oh, and our day looks like this:
6:40ish wake up
11:30 down for nap (i nurse her to sleep)
13:00 wake up from nap
19:30 start bedtime routine (nursing and recently, getting her to fall asleep on her own)
20:00 asleep
After 22 many many NWs
Oh, and i cannot move her to a different bedroom before she is sleep trained completely because upstairs we have only 2bedrooms, so after sleep training she will have to share room with her brother who is 4.
Also, she does not gave a paci, does not take a bottle. She does have a lovey (2 actually).

Thanks in advance for any the input!

[Katet]

I would focus on nap time, bedtime and the first wake up and make those a priority to not feed to sleep.
To the point of not feeding at that time if you can.
Do some role plays with a doll going to bed and to sleep to show her what is expected. Talk a lot about your plans as as 21 months she’ll have pretty good understanding.
If possible have someone else put her to bed and develop a routine that clearly indicates sleep time.
I’d start with a nap time you have time with and copy the routine you did with the doll eg something like, walk around the house saying goodnight to people and things, nappy change a couple of books, place in the bed and sing a song while stroking down on her body or face. I foun$ holding my hand just above the face going down from hair to chin, made them shut their eyes and helped them sleep.
If she gets upset pick her up cuddle her, tell her you understand it’s hard to do something different but Mummy will stay with you and help you and that it’s time for sleep.
I think if you can sort out naps bedtime and first waking without a feed, she will wake less and the first waking should get later.